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28 August 2011 Downunder Boxing Gala Dinner

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 4 months ago

Posted by Baudo on 8/28/2011, 9:05 am

(as the last of the A-List guests make their way to their tables, the lights dim in the Crown Palladium and rise over centre ring. The Downunder Boxing Logo lowers on a flag and hovers directly above the ring. Fanfare blasts through the sound system and the iconic voice of Craig Willis, Australia’s leader sports announcer begins…)

“Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Crown Palladium for the official launch of Downunder Boxing. Please welcome to centre ring your master of ceremonies, host of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and president of the Collingwood Football Club, Mr Eddie McGuire”

(applause)

Eddie: Thank you, thank you. Craig Willis, what an amazing voice that man has. Ladies and Gentlemen as Craig said welcome to the Crown Casino and here to the Crown Palladium for what is an historic moment in world boxing. The night in which we launch Downunder Boxing, the first Australian stable in the FCBA.

(the crowd roars in applause and appreciation)
Eddie: As many of the aussie contingent here would understand, Celebrity Woman’s boxing has a rich history in Australia which dates back to the late 1980’s.

In September of 1998, the number of alleged visits of some of Australia's finest female celebs to hospitals all around the country began to raise alarm to the then New South Wales Police Commissioner, John Avery. Investigations began into alleged underground bare knuckle tournaments believed to be held by Aussie female celebrities in unused fashion warehouses. It was suggested these tournaments were being held simply to figure out who was the top dog amongst Aussie actresses, models, musicians, news readers, TV presenters and athletes alike. The investigation uncovered one of the most brutal underground boxing rings ever seen in this country.

When Avery made the call to start arresting the celebs in an attempt to put a stop to the treachery, a man only known as Baudo stepped in and changed the shape of Australian Woman’s Celebrity boxing forever. Baudo fought long and hard with Avery to allow the fighting to continue under strict sanctioning and supervision.

And so it was in the winter of 2001, that the Australian Woman’s Underground Boxing Association was formed. Baudo decided to keep “Underground” in the title in honour of all the female celebrities who had bled for bare knuckle boxing in Australia and for those who had fallen.

(appreciative applause)

During the last two weeks Baudo has been in discussions with the FCBA and with the finest boxers from the AWUBA and abroad, to develop the Downunder Boxing stable.

Ladies and Gentlemen, to officially launch the Downunder Boxing brand, would you please welcome to the stage, the man who has made the impossible possible…….BAUDO!!

(wild applause and a standing ovation, a tall man in his early 30’s enters centre ring and takes his place alongside Eddie)

Baudo: Thank you Eddie. Before I begin, there are a few people I would like to thank for coming along this evening. We have many special guests from the US and the UK here tonight. If I could ask you all to stand, and remain standing, as I read out your names.

All of the girls from Foxfire Boxing, none more so than current Flyweight Champion Hayden Panettiere

(wild applause)

And of course one of the greatest of all time Jennifer Garner

(huge applause)

All of the girls from Front Street, including the great Neve Campbell

(wild applause)

Ginny and the girls from The Academy including FCBA legend Cat Bell

(huge applause)

Knowlesey and the BBU girls

(large applause)

And the Kears Kat’s stable including Cheryl Cole.

(someone from over near the Downunder table yells out “COW!!!” but no one can see who it is, Cheryl appears quite upset)

Baudo: What you see standing before you are the finest boxers from the FCBA. This is what we aspire to be. In the not too distant future, we hope our girls will be standing in a room in North America or the UK, receiving a similar amount of respect.

(applause)

Thank you also to Tess Valmore from Tractorpull Magazine for making the journey.

(cheers from the media)

Also in the room tonight are some of Australia’s finest male boxers. Danny Green, Anthony Mundine and Kosta Tszyu. Welcome guys.

(applause)

I’d also like to welcome the cast of the movie The Great Gasby, currently filming here in Australia, Leonardo DiCaprio, Isla Fisher, Carey Mulligan, Tobey Maguire and Joel Edgerton. We are honoured to have such big names from Hollywood in the room to share this night with us.

(applause)

To everyone else that has come along to support this concept, thank you.

Now without any further ado, it gives me an enormous amount of pleasure to introduce the Downunder Boxing stable.

(fanfare begins again as the stable is introduced one by one)

Please welcome to the ring our Flyweights:

With one FCBA fight already under her belt, one of two fighters never to fight on the AWUBA…EMILY BROWNING

The lady who beat her in that fight, another to never fight in the AWUBA who is making a name for herself in the FCBA already with 4 wins, all by knockout punch…EMILIE DE RAVIN

And a veteran of 28 fights with 15 wins in the FCBA, making her come back this year…NAOMI WATTS

(wild applause)

Now to our Bantamweights:

Recently returning to the ring after the birth of baby Flynn, the winner of the most Super Flyweight titles in the AWUBA and current AWUBA Super Flyweight Champion…MIRANDA KERR

Current AWUBA Bantamweight Champion and one of our favourite Packed To The Rafters stars…JESSICA MARAIS

And former lead singer of The Rogue Traders who recently lost her AWUBA Super Bantamweight title to Amazing Race Australia top 3 contestant Sam Schoers. We’ve seen many a battle between her and Danni, one of the greatest rivalries in the AWUBA, please welcome…NATALIE BASSINGTHWAIGHTE

(wild applause)

To our Lightweights now:

She recently lost her AWUBA Lightweight title fight to Jen Hawkins but has a bright future in the FCBA. We are all anticipating her role as Abby in the upcoming Charlie’s Angels series…RACHAEL TAYLOR

The challenger this evening for the Lightweight title with 9 FCBA fights under her belt, ranked 4th overall for the most titles ever won in the AWUBA, one of only a handful of ladies to win titles across three weight divisions, my gorgeous personal assistant…ABBIE CORNISH

This next lady needs no introduction. She recently surpassed Elle MacPherson to win the most titles ever in AWUBA history. She is the current AWUBA Lightweight Champion and former Miss Universe…JENNIFER HAWKINS

(the crowd erupts, they are on their feet for the impressive lightweight list)

And finally our Welterweights:

Ranked 3rd behind Jen and Elle for the most titles in AWUBA history, the lady that recently knocked out Megan Gale in round 1 to secure the AWUBA Welterweight title, one of the trainers on the hit show Australia’s Biggest Loser, …MICHELLE BRIDGES

She has dominated the middleweight class for more than a decade, winning 37 titles, and recently sending a message to the division that at 39 she will not lay down, knocking out Ricki Lee Coulter in devastating fashion. Your host of Australia’s Next Top Model…SARAH MURDOCH

And we have saved the best for last ladies and gentlemen. Many have said she is too old, and many have been proven wrong. We know her as “The Body”. Up until recently she sat atop the all-time title winning list. Winning titles across three divisions, she is arguably the greatest fighter ever in the AWUBA. Head trainer at Downunder Boxing, ladies and gentleman…Miss ELLE MACPHERSON

(the fanfare continues as the crowd rises to its feet to give Elle the standing ovation she deserves. The members of Downunder Boxing lean on the ropes at each side of the ring and wait for the remaining members of the team to be read out)

Baudo: Finally to the members of the team that make everything happen:

She has never won a fight in the FCBA but her reputation in the AWUBA is second to none. She won 9 Flyweight titles in succession, each by KO, including her final bout against Naomi Watts, a 10th round knock out Title win in her last ever fight. Ladies and Gentlemen my Director of Communications…KYLIE MINOGUE

This next lady never made it to the FCBA…..

(“Because she is a plastic whore!!” yelled someone from over near Kears table)

Um, excuse me security can you sort that out please.

(Cheryl Cole can be seen arguing with security….”She started it, she called me a cow when they introduced me!” Security contained the situation and Cole sat back down)

This lady never made it to the FCBA but is an AWUBA great. She has 27 Super Bantamweight titles to her name and crossed over for 7 Super Flyweight titles as well. Her recent run of 5 straight KO’s over Natalie Imbruglia, Melissa George, Lara Bingle, Kristy Hinze and Isla Fisher, has set up a certain Super Bantamweight title fight with Sam Schoers. Our Assistant Director of Communications…DANNI

(“SCRAG!!”)

MINOGUE

Danni: I’m going to eat you for breakfast Cole you whinging POM!!

(the crowd erupts as the banter ensues and Cheryl Cole is ejected from the audience by security)

Baudo: Now to our assistant trainer. She successfully defended the FCBA Welterweight Title twice back in 2004 with unanimous decision wins over Sandra Bullock and Katherine Heigl. We are very fortunate to have her back on home soil. With 17 Super Lightweight titles to her name, she is one of the best closers in the business…NIKKI VISSER

(wild applause)

Ladies and Gentlemen….DOWNUNDER BOXING!!

(the applause continues as Baudo goes over to join his girls and Eddie steps back in front of the microphone)

Eddie: It would be silly of us not to get the head trainer over for a few words, Elle come on over here.

(Elle takes her place with Eddie)

Elle MacPherson ladies and Gentlemen

(appreciative applause continues)

Eddie: Elle let’s not beat around the bush, you are nearly 50, what do we expect to see from “The Body”?

Elle: You know Eddie I hear it time and time again. “Your too old, your past it, you should have retired at 40”. There are plenty of knockers out there but I am actually in better shape today than I was when I won the FCBA Middleweight title 9 years ago.

Eddie: Really? I mean you look fantastic for 48. But how about you’re boxing?

Elle: Well you should talk to Nikki and Michelle about my boxing. Apparently I am more powerful and quicker than I was back then. I’m no George Foreman but he fought Briggs at 48. So if he can do it, so can I.

Eddie: So what’s your plan?

Elle: With relation to my boxing?

Eddie: Yes.

Elle: I’m retiring on the 29 March 2013. I’ll be 50 on that day. My plan is to win the FCBA Welterweight title at least once more before I retire. Then I will stay on as the Head Trainer of Downunder Boxing.

(Elle’s comments are met with mixed responses from the crowd)

Eddie: Well good luck Elle, we wish you all the best in your pursuit of that title. And the head trainer role?

Elle: I’ve got a lot to offer these girls and I don’t think there would be too many arguments that this is a great stable. With Nikki assisting, there will be a good balance of power punchers and big closers. Jessica, Sarah and Michelle are relative unknowns to North America and the UK so I’ll be helping Baudo promote them as we believe they will match it pound for pound with anyone in the FCBA. We are not in the habit of throwing names around but if you look at where things are at right now, PANETIERRE/DE RAVIN or BROWNING, CUTHBERT/KERR, PALICKI/HAWKINS or CORNISH depending on what happens tonight, RIGHETTI/MACPHERSON….

Eddie: Righetti/MacPherson hey, I’d like to see that….and Hayden is in the room somewhere….Hayden what do you think about that?

Panny: Both Ems are great fighters and we would just have to see what happens over time.

Eddie: Well said there Hayden, not letting too much out of the bag. Well thank you very much Elle. Ladies and Gentlemen…..Elle Macpherson.

(another round of applause for Elle)

Eddie: So ladies and gentlemen that wraps up the formal part of the evening. Enjoy your meals and a few drinks, not too many though as we don’t want any more Cheryl Cole incidents. The undercards will begin in just under thirty minutes.

(fanfare blasts through the sound system again as the Downunder girls leave centre ring and head back to their tables)