Posted by simguy on 3/4/2005

Before: Much anticipated big-jug hoedown: both girls have claimed JMD as hers alone, both would love to get it on the other. "There's no question what will happen as soon as I've stopped her," says Jennifer Love Hewitt. "She will be smothered and I'm not apologizing for that." Simpson equally adamant. "I've told Jennifer over and over again to stop cheapening the smother with her disappointing chest - I HAVE to knock her out so I can show her how it's really done!" Jennifer in white string bikini - Jessica in pale pink bikini, wearing a tan leather vest over top and a fuzzy pink cowboy hat during ring instructions.

During R1: Both girls swinging away lusty midring - Jessica's shorter, more compact delivery beating Jen to punches and HEWITT'S ROCKED! Clanging lefts and rights on the chin as Hewitt's caught flailing away wide - she stomps around in fence post holes, left hand cupped around Jessica's head for support - ring-around-the-rosy as Hewitt staggers for balance. Good recovery from Jen - she shakes off the hurt, tags Jessica a right uppercut, rakes her hooks and has blonde crouching forward into punishment. Simpson getting stroked, but taking it well - judges give her the round despite Hewitt's effective rally.

R2: Simpson barging forward, leaning into overhand rights, brawling hooks - she's just trying to get Hewitt ropeside for sustained drubbing. Jen sliding back, fitting Jessica for uppercuts - brunette's dukes up, bending at the knees, rolling Simpson right hands and answering back right uppies inside - pays off in the second minute. Jess missing over top - Jen rolling and scoring with a short, concussive right - she puts Simpson wobbly butt and IMMEDIATELY tears up jug! Hewitt snarling, leaning in and lathering her mitts back and forth - she's POUNDING away on those hated double D's, frothing Simpsy groggy to ropes. Jen grunting as she hup-hups up in there - short, shrugging left and right uppercuts to jug, brunette crowding in with her body to smother receipts. All too much for Simpson - bullied, pancaked and oppressed, she falls off to the side and droops to all fours, panting in shock. HEWITT HAMMERS JESSICA'S BACK! Jen beating hammer-blows against Jessica's spine like a spoiled little girl throwing a tantrum - poor Simpsy sobbing in protest as Ref acts a few heartbeats too late.

R3: Jennifer flat footed, meeting Simpson strong for all engagements - brunette jabbing to preempt, then turning into short hooks as girls fall together. Simpsy doing her best work when they're temple-to-temple - she's got such a short, powerful delivery, all hips and shoulders - just pounding away to ribs beneath the breastline, backing Hewitt up. Jen creating distance with a nifty shoulder bump, sidestep routine - finding angles off Jessica's left shoulder from which to hook or chop hatchet rights to blonde ear/jaw.

R4: Jennifer keeps chiseling away - she's looking to punch, but using just enough jab and pivoting footwork to keep Simpson from planting and ripping. Hewitt anchoring her left heel in the canvas and hooking hard as she pivots on it - Simpson's chin bearing the brunt of it, she's startled, wobbly butt - but every time Jennifer tries to crowd n' slug, Simpson outworks her tidy. Pleasing back and forth - Simpson hurt this round but rallying as Hewitt did earlier - brunette can't just have her way.

R5: Girls get to jug-mugging in earnest, laying in shoulder to shoulder, hooking each other raw. Hewitt cuter, sometimes pressing in with Jess, sometimes sliding the right foot back to coax Simpson forward, walking her onto the left uppercut. Hewitt mixing in chin with her jug, breaking Simpson down - Jess mindlessly clobbering away at the maddening cleft between Hewitt's monster melons. Jen's combination of brains and brawn carries the round - she's pivoting left, walking Jess into punches, tucking into rack just as fervently - she sends Simpson staggering, sniveling to her corner through 5.

R6: Jennifer creating a little distance with her jab - she got the better of Jessica's breasts last round, now she wants to do a little face punching. Classy stuff - Hewitt spreading Jessica out, then turning on meanspirited right crosses - pounding away cheek and chin on Simpson, then pivoting left as Jess tries to bull through it. Jessica unfazed, but guzzling an unconscionable amount of leather - corner screaming at her to move her head and get low as Hewitt claps away. Jennifer even leading with hooks late, pivoting left on that anchored heel - she's got Simpsy buffaloed through 6.

R7: Give Jessica credit - little blonde pug's eaten a lot of quality leather, apparently no worse for wear. Simpson trudging forward, catching on her face and hammering back - she's upsetting Hewitt's applecart with clubbing rights to the skull, sweeping hooks to jaw, backing brunette up in disarray to ropes. Jess burrowing in, squirming to press Hewitt up against the strands, then tearing it up with those short, side to side rights and lefts - Hewitt open-mouthed as the tidy rip takes effect. Jessica still amateurish on the outside, but much more professional in tight and working on a stationary vixen - she gets in there and digs, punishing the offending bikini top, wearing out Hewitt's ribs, draining Hewitt's legs. Jennifer swooning, tying up around Jessica's elbows and head - strained look of discomfort on brunette face as Simpsy rides her hard to bell.

R8: Simpy bulling in - all those body shots paying dividends as Hewitt can't keep blonde off and can't stand her ground: Jessica able to put Jen's butt in ropes again. More beat down - Hewitt starting to cover up earmuff, drooping forward, giving away her waist and lats on the cheap: Simpsy starting to reef punches with jiggle-bodied abandon. Simpson plugging right hands in behind Jen's elbow with hollow, drumming impacts - ringsiders groaning, biting knuckles in anxiety as poor Jen sops it up. Hook not doing Jen any good either - Simpsy shifting her hips, arching her back and putting 'em tidy to hip and waist, curling the shot in flat, bringing fists back quick to reset. Rip-gouge-bump - Jessica just mauling Jennifer, grinding forehead with her, punishing the midsection and late the round: SIMPSY ROMPS TO RACK! Jessica getting on up underneath with short-shrugging left and right uppercuts, pounding the beef on Hewitt as Jennifer's slender legs threaten to give out. Happy smile Simpson: pounding Jennifer's jugs makes blonde feel all warm and good about herself.

R9: Ramshackle Hewitt open-mouthed, eyelashes fluttering: been a long time since she's been ridden this hard. Simpsy on in a reckless rush of blonde hair, pink bikini, tanned tummy - tackling Hewitt as brunette's turning away, pancaking her sideways to ropes. Simpsy leaning forward, left cheek wet against Jen's left shoulder-blade - mindless, blind punching to belly, back and rump - Jess using her shoulder and palms to stabilize, then churning away as Hewitt tries to squirm to a more squared up position. Jessica on top - palming Jennifer's biceps back, swinging away short lefts and rights to chin, helpless, throbbing jugmeat - everything Jen's got is on sale and Jessica's feeling greedy! Rhapsodic punching from Jess - she's just on auto-jiggle, rubbing, bumping scrubbing away - Hewitt too weak to clinch, getting her torso thumped and her head smashed side to side. Jennifer out on her feet, left arm riding lazily on Jessica's shoulder as blonde treats herself to more and more Hewitt downstairs and THE REF STEPS IN! Good Lord - TKO9 Jessica Simpson!

After: Jennifer all batting eyelashes, pouting lips as she swoons into the man's arms - Simpsy just taking and taking until only the empty husk of a brunette former champion was left. Jessica jumping for joy, getting hugged and petted in her corner as she shouts "My jugs stopped her jugs!" over and over again. Soon as gloves are removed - Jessica jogs over to the grim Samdog corner all smiles and swinging hooters. Panic in the HBO ops truck - Samdog fighter lost so everyone's relaxed, lighting up smokes, waiting for the next bout but now all scramble to find that damn Swan Lake tape! Hewitt aghast, still so battered and exhausted - from her stool she reaches to push against Jessica's oncoming belly, then up to her shoulders as Simpson reaches for Hewitt's head, intent on pulling her into a Double D disaster! Crowd chanting "J-M-D! J-M-D!" Simpsy grinning, working hard, inching Hewitt's head closer and closer - Jennifer straining, pushing, but as jugs approach she loses composure, sobbing aloud as the air-tight seal is finally affected. Grinning Simpsy hauling Jennifer to her feet with the tight reverse sleeper in place, slowly stepping backward as Hewitt struggles feebly against the grasp.

Jess settling her back into a neutral corner, contented smile as she rests her cheek on Jen's damp head, left arm brawny around Jen's neck, right hand cupped atop the skull - blonde purring with satisfaction as brunette's pushing, probing hands grow weak and distracted under the relentless crush. Finally, Jessica releases with a flourish, grinning widely as Jennifer swoons to her knees - brunette wiping wet lips and blinking, slooowly turning to crawl away.

"J-M-D! J-M-D!"

Jessica gloating, strolling alongside Jen, grinning blonde flicking curls behind her ear, snapping her trunks back into place - keeping a nice leisurely pace. Hewitt drowsy, numb - she looks like a desert wanderer crawling over the last dune, in search of that life-preserving oasis.

"J-M-D! J-M-D!"

Finally, Simpsy crouches down to kneel off Jennifer's left flank, splaying her right hand on Jennifer's tacky-damp back for support. Jess with a light gut wrench around Jen's body stops her forward crawl, gently easing brunette to a seat on her haunches - then Jessica kneels in front, weight on right knee, left knee up, left foot flat on the floor in a strong position as she pulls Jennifer's face in close once more. Hewitt's hands palming Jessica's hips, then reaching round the back to cinch up lightly around the waist - Simpsy just humming to herself, rocking gently back and forth as she smothers Jen ALL the way out. Officials FINALLY making a move as Hewitt's utterly helpless - Jessica standing, grinning down as Jennifer sprawls wetly to her back, face shiny, lips pouted, eyes closed: she's a used-up beauty at Jessica's triumphant feet. Simpson actually wriggles free and tries to take even MORE, but she's bundled up and carried off as Hewitt gets much needed TLC. Hilariously - Swan Lake cuts in NOW - way too late to protect sensitive viewers from scenes of heinous JMD.