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11 July 2007 Mariah Carey vs Mandy Moore

Page history last edited by Archer844 15 years ago

Posted by simguy on 7/12/2007, 5:45 pm

 

Before: HBO committed to Mandy Moore, calling her the "future of big girl boxing" in the FCBA. "Mandy's got it all," says one cigar-chomping stuffed shirt in a recent Celebrity Ring article. "She's got size, but carries the weight well. She's got a legit big girl punch. She's got a fresh faced, can-do enthusiasm - like a Katherine Heigl - but most importantly, Mandy does what she's told. We love that in a fighter. Moore's a real lady who can promote this sport the way it should be: corporate-acceptable." Carey the antithesis of the obedient fighter: if Mandy's everything network brass love in a fighter, Mariah's the exact opposite. "Look, if you want Mariah Carey on your card, Mariah Carey's got demands," Mariah Carey explains in prefight. "I need what I need, I get paid what I get paid - and that's not negotiable. But you get all of this (gestures grandly to her magnificent physique), you get my screaming fans filling the arena and buying the PPV, and you get an exciting knockout guaranteed when I put beef on the beyotch in the other corner." Mandy in black string bikini, brunette hair battle-bunned up; black gloves with white knuckle bars. Mariah in pastel blue/green string bikini (festive, Mexican squiggly pattern print), white gloves; highlighted hair back off her face.

 

During R1: Carey jiggling out of her corner, charging the mound, missing a big right hand to start the fight. Moore with concerned frown, steps right, showing a Klitscho jab (left arm already partially extended - the jab a short thrusting poke) heavy against Mariah's heaving breasts. Carey scowling - alternating between crossed arms against her bod and earmuff at her temples - constantly swatting at and leaning away from Moore's jolting stick. Mariah stepping in and swinging hard - missing most, but catching Moore on occasions when Mandy steps straight back with hands low. Down the stretch, Moore pumping that firm, prodding jab has Mariah distracted: Mandy leans into a short, crunching right on Carey's left ear. Mariah stumbling in fence post holes - jugs a-jumping as she stagger-steps around startled at bell.

 

R2: Moore calmer now, widening her stance, stepping around either Carey flank to keep Mariah moving her feet. Mandy's jab picking Carey apart - pre-extended posture means it's much quicker than it otherwise would be - just a short jolt to Mariah's chest or face. Carey cranky, weight on right foot, hands fidgetty as she moves them from crossed body to temples and back, trying to block with limited success. Mandy business like - taking control of the ring, pinpointing Mariah with the jab, then laying in heavy, stroking right crosses: Carey just facing into the broadsides, taking glorious clout on the chops. Mariah's head tossing to the right, her hands stacked right atop left at her tummy, elbows out to the side as she soaks Mandy's stroke: it's all too much for Carey's curvy legs. Big Mariah sent to all fours twice in the final minute - both off workmanlike right crosses from Mandy. Bright smile Mandy Moore en route to her corner: that's good punching.

 

R3: Mariah having all kinds of trouble with Mandy's heavy jab - bobbing sullenly, trying to wish it away. Moore just pumping it in - double-pawing it on occasion - scoring against Mariah's beautiful face, breasts, left bicep. When Moore sets down on her right hand, eyes widen up and she gives a little grunt as she pours it in. Carey basically shut out - but she's still catching Mandy with wide hooks when Moore steps straight back.

 

R4: Mandy really dictating: Mariah's discouraged. Carey flat footed, hands up, trying to bat at Moore's stubby little jab, or duck under it with arms crossed against body. Moore opening up her playbook - still leaning in the firm right cross, but now also swinging freely to the midsection and flanks of her foe when Mariah's tilting forward. Big beefy "CHUP! CHUP! CHUP!" noises from Mariah's torso when Moore gets in there - wonderful. Mandy getting big now - pushing Mariah with palm-heels in the shoulders - even walking Mariah to ropes and bodying up for ref's breaks. Moore buckles Mariah's knees with a left uppercut in close: Carey whining, reaches to clinch, buttocks wobbling, feet stamping.

 

R5: Mandy getting off jab/right cross/left hook, steps back to admire her handiwork, eats a swinging hook onna chops as Carey erupts from her crouch. THERE GO MANDY'S LEGS! Moore suddenly damaged - reeling away from a crashing Carey right hand that had KO written all over it. Fight reels to ropes: Mandy desperately cupping Mariah's ears and holding her in close: Carey squares away, fights big-girl off Mandy's chest. Thudding beatdown, Carey to Moore: Mandy upright, breathing through pursed lips, just trying to control Mariah's head. Carey squirming, pushing on Moore, letting her feel weight, pulling down on Mandy's forearms before clobbering her. Mariah bashing at Mandy rather than boxing her - big, clubbing, thick hacks taking Mandy in her breadbasket; beating fleshily at her chest; clapping loud against her flanks. Moore protecting her chin reasonably well: If Mariah wants to score up top, she has to swing over Mandy's brawny arms to get there.

 

R6. Carey seething, stomping forward, jugs a-jumping: sight of those jugs on the attack clearly unnerving Mandy, who tries to leg away. Moore's hands too low when she's retreating - Carey able to step-with, swing wide and connect flush, scattering Mandy to ropes. Mariah piling in heavy, camping out on Mandy's chest once again: beefy beatdown administered as poor Moore doesn't seem to know what to do. Mandy cupping Mariah's ears, trying to pull her in to clinches: Carey stamping, pushing, wrestling with Mandy's arms, then seeking to do harm with clubbing heft. Moore bludgeoned about her head and shoulders; clobbered to her ribs and fleshy chest; clouted brutally to her paunch. Constant weight of Carey pushing Mandy into ropes, or leaning on her when she folds forward: it's all too much. Moore pushed to her knees after a brutal, slopping beating: Carey flipping hair off her shoulder, raises her mitts while strutting to neutral corner.

 

R7: Moore firms, remembers her gameplan, starts to take the initiative back from Carey. Recipe is simple - keep that extended jab in Mariah's face and sidestep her: Moore executing with flat-footed determination and methodical pace. Mandy's pre-extended left working as a kind of feint - Mariah frequently reacting to the extension, then just facing into the poke when it comes. Moore doubling up her jab nicely - easy to do since it's already most of the way there. Moore keeps the right hand holstered, just boxing for control in the seventh: mission accomplished.

 

R8: Sloppier the fight, the more Mariah likes it. Carey able to disrupt Mandy this round, wrestle her into the ropes: girls tumble along the apron in a mutual embrace - each trying to be the bigger as they trade positions. Mariah stronger in the clinch, mauling Moore effectively - but Carey not throwing the uppercut which could be an 'out' punch against Moore here. Mandy pulling down on Carey's head - Moore grimacing and hanging on - pitting her belly against Carey's in grinding slog. Mariah's round, but she's dragging in deep, gasping breaths at the bell as age catches up with her.

 

R9: Carey mouth breathing, but gambling well - stampeding Mandy to ropes and bodying up. Moore pushing against beefy singer, or pulling at her head, or tieing up her arms: when Mariah establishes position on Mandy's chest, there's not much Moore can do. Carey slopping punches onto Mandy even while clinched - Mariah just writhing to put thump on her foe any which way she can. Constant work, press and grind of heavy bodies takes it's toll: another round for strong Mariah, but she's sobbing from exhaustion during break.

 

R10: Carey's form shot - she's desperately winging, stumbling off balance, jugs tossing and heaving as she tries to end Mandy's night. Moore drawing on young reserves, widening her stance, working her jab, stepping around deteriorating opposition. Safety first - Mandy able to hammer-jab at Mariah, then sidestep the receipts - going to the luscious Carey torso with rights and lefts whenever Mariah stoops forward behind her mitts. Pleasing, beefy contact as Mandy works Mariah's body and arms over, then pokes-face to ruin Carey's receipts. Goes to the cards, comes back an unexpected UD10, Mandy Moore.

 

After: Moore glistening head to toe with hard-working sweat: she survives some hard dicing to outclass her buxom foe, foiling experts who had expected a quick night for one or the other vixen. "I tried to slug with her," Mandy explains in postfight, "but she was too strong and heavy - whenever I tried to get big, I couldn't keep her off. So I boxed her, you know? I drew on my experience with Charlize and Kristanna when I was with the Krushers, and it really helped me in this fight." Important win for Mandy - not as quick or athletic as a Loken, maybe not as heavy handed as a Nolin - but her blend of size, skill, poise and sturdiness looking pretty attractive at 130.

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