Posted by simguy on 11/12/2004

Before: "I'm definitely the better boxer," says Jen in prefight, discussing her plans for Mish, "but you know - give the tramp her due: Mish is pretty good at dismantling boxers - look at Keira and Katie B. You have to punch with Mish and I'm surprised more girls don't - she can't take it to the body and I've got plans for her chin, believe me. So yes, I'll outclass her, but make no mistake - I'm outslugging Mish Williams: this won't be a pattycake session." Williams scoffing, snorting into her mic throughout Hewitt's commentary. "Puh-LEASE! Anyone who thinks Hewitt's going to get into a swap-meet with me please sign this Power of Attorney form right now! (oddly enough, produces just such a document) Jen's the flyweight Britney Spears - she's fluff; girly-girl; sissy-punching - you know? I'm Michelle Williams: I'm boss at 110. Jen's not getting up from my punches the way she did Sarah's - no way." Jennifer in lucky white string bikini, Mish in white/black tiger print bikini, halter top, tie side bottoms.

During R1: JEN GOES JUG! Hewitt developing a rep as a very fast starter - she backs up an astonished Mish Williams with the same rack attack that had Salma Hayek on her heels. Jen stepping, chugging, forcing Williams to ropes - Hewitt able to romp with pump action lefts and rights, pancaking Michelle's pale puppies. Middle minute's all about Williams brawling back - she'll step the left foot forward, jam a short left hand into Jen's breasts - step the right foot forward, stuff the right hand in: Hewitt's turn to back up. Final minute up for grabs: Hewitt going to the pit of Michelle's stomach with thudding right hands - shuts Mish down, backs her up. Round ends to the sight of Jennifer riding her left on William's right shoulder, CRAMMING away righty to Mishy midriff. Williams ashen faced, stunned - Hewitt nodding aggressively in Mish's face to underscore the ferocity.

R2: JEN GOES JUG! Mish not really believing Hewitt would dare risk a frontal assault again, caught off guard and beaten back by the same walking barrage. Chugging lefts and rights up against the ropes - Williams absorbing a tremendous beating before gathering herself and slugging back. Mish stepping off the ropes in murderous trade - girls scoring short to chins and chests, trying to step in and clang away compact wallop. Backsides sturdy - girls are taking it well, but down the stretch: Hewitt able to get the better of the tortuous two way. Jen bending left to pull in strapping rights upside Mishy's head - Williams sitting in the ropes, hands chest high, torso wilting to the side as she takes shattering blows. Jennifer refusing to respect the bell, clapping away on Mishy's jaw right hands until ref intervenes - Williams stunned, staring, standing there with her dukes still up at her chest as Hewitt storms away angry-butt.

R3: Jen beats Mish to the punch with a jab on the nose, leans into a clanging right hand on the chin, sweeps a hook across the face as Williams staggers backwards. Jen goes body, thumping right hands against tummy, back straight, lips tight with determination as Mishy folds up. Kidneys are there: Jen takes 'em with swatting hooks, driving Williams to ropes. Jug: Mishy plaintive, eyes pleading as Jen tears away to rack, elbows in, swishy side to side shellack. MISH TAKES A KNEE! Williams glassy eyed, bullied - tries to pull herself together, but after 8 ON COMES JEN! Hewitt bending in close, hauling that walloping right along Williams' jaw, ringing up Mishy backside and slumping blonde helpless in the ropes. Vacant eyes staring - Mish with her hands useless at her chest again as Hewitt loads and cranks slobberknocking right hands to jaw as hard as her little body will allow. MISH GOES DOWN! Williams toppling like Kostya Tszyu against Vince Phillips, bug-eyed with punishment. Williams beats the count, swaying pathetically on the spot - surely they'll stop it but NO! ON COMES HEWITT! Mish defenceless - pushing both hands out in a mindless attempt to ward Hewitt off - right hands crash in, set up by slapping, open hand hooks to keep Williams' face in the striking zone. Ref letting Jen strap away on Mish and WILLIAMS GOES DOWN! Mish bludgeoned senseless, sprawling on her face under a torrid river of JLH slugging and it's OVER! KO3 in heaving fashion - Jennifer Love Hewitt.

After: Mish Williams downright blown out, bullied and beat down - Hewitt showing no ill effects from her fight of the year with Sarah Michelle Gellar as some had predicted. Hard rounds forging Jen into a serious fly contender - baby-fat's all gone, this girl's punching like a real prizefighter. Mish brought around shabby with salts - Jen pushes her way into the HISC corner, taking Williams by the wrist and walking her angrily back to the Samdog corner - Mish head lolling, stumbling en route. Hewitt nodding to the crowd, snaking her left arm round behind Mishy's head, cupping the right hand atop Williams' skull to seal blonde's face snug against brunette's bulging rack. Hewitt backing slowly into the support of her home turnbuckles, mouth pouting with concentration - occasionally resting the left cheek against Mishy's head, licking her lips now and again as she cinches up the smother from time to time. Williams pushing weakly against Hewitt's hips, reaching for the ropes at times or up behind Hewitt to pull at her shoulders - all to no avail. Williams finally oozing to one knee as Hewitt releases - Mish fluttery-eyed, swaying on the verge of going all the way out - Hewitt just standing there grinning down, hands on her hips as if to say: I'M boss, not you.