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13 Dec 2008 Katherine Heigl vs Sarah Lancaster

Page history last edited by Archer844 9 years, 9 months ago

Katherine Heigl 07.jpg Sarah Lancaster 2.jpg

Posted by simguy on 12/13/2008, 9:09 am.

Before: Heigl reportedly having trouble making weight as a result of the long layoff; good news for fresh-faced Sarah Lancaster. "Hey, if she's sluggish, a little soft or heavy, so much the better, right?" Lancaster muses at the podium. "Anything can happen if Kathy's not on form: I could catch her, I could outwork her. I haven't had a lot of pro rounds, but I've been ready to fight for over two years: I'm itching to get Heigl in trouble!" Katherine cranky as big fights have fallen through, while supporting cast members and new signings at Krusher Central grab headlines. "If I didn't need the rounds, I'd tell Lancaster to go prove herself first," Heigl grumbles. "But it's not my fault that girls don't want to face my heat. 'Tish Casta's getting more work than me for God's sake: shows you how chickenshyte the girls in this division are. Anyway, there's worse things I could do than put a pretty brunette on a stretcher - I'm looking forward to the workout!" Sarah in midnight blue silk camisol and tap shorts; white gloves. Katherine in metallic baby blue silk camisol and tap shorts; white gloves; hair in long blonde ponytail with bangs framing face.

During R1: Mirror image crouches; right hands at mouths; left hands slightly forward to jab. Girls crouching, pumping stick to left shoulder/left breast - Sarah landing with big-girl pop as Kathy tests her at range. Heigl moves in off the jab, hooking Sarah's chest, then bumping her off: Lancaster feeling Heigl's heft early. Sarah moving to her left, eyes bright, thoughtful: she doubles up the jab, punching Katherine into high guard, then swinging a fat right roundhouse into Heigl's midsection. Grunt-n'-wince from Kathy: Sarah punches blonde off her stance, showing healthy sock. Heigl crowds in close late, jerking little left uppercuts in tight to back Sarah up, stealing the round close.

R2: Same again - both women flat footed, sturdy gun platforms, pounding jabs at each other's presented left shoulders/left jug. Heigl stepping in off poke with a wide-clouting hook, moving Sarah off her stance: Lancaster forced to circle, regroup. Katherine walking Sarah down big-girl, jabbing to get in, then scrubbing short right uppercuts at close quarters; tucking cuffing hooks into Sarah's be-silked torso. Lancaster banging back shoulder-to-shoulder - unafraid to lean in with Heigl and trade lapping lefts and rights underneath. Relatively busy big-girl churning here - Heigl lifting blows into Sarah's belly, bumping her tuff shoulders, walking her down to muscle out another close round.

R3: Similar stuff - Katherine finding the range with heavier jabs, starting to steer Sarah around. Heigl turning over her first heavy right crosses - blocked by Sarah, but Lancaster forced off her stance again as Kathy's pushing forward. Heigl getting muscular - hooking jug off her jab, stepping in close with short right hands, then pushing Sarah off. Blonde coming forward always and everywhere - steady, incremental pressure. Lancaster grunting with effort - willing to lay in mouth on shoulder and lap it up underneath: big girls' brawny shoulders rotating as vixens work thudding hup-hup to bell, taking in as much jug as tummy.

R4: Katherine's heavy jab starting to raise a slight mouse under Sarah's left eye: Lancaster moving hands to eyebrows to compensate. More of the Lancaster waistline available as a result - Heigl going there with rich, roundhouse right hands and digging left hands as she steps in on front (left) leg. Katherine hunching her shoulders, stooping forward and twisting side to side to pound short, curling lefts and rights against Sarah's waist and biceps. Thudding blonde torso-bash clearly degrading Sarah's defences, backing her up. Lancaster firming as her back touches ropes - she tucks short left uppercut into bulging Heigl jug, prompting a clinch/body up routine from Katherine. Kathy putting a tummy on Sarah, riding her to ropes, mauling her: Lancaster proving strong - wriggling her elbows down inside Katherine's embrace, then turrrrning big blonde into ropes.

R5: Sarah competing with Katherine all over the ring: trouble is, Lancaster's being forced ever backward as Heigl slowly but surely gets her way. Sarah's jab a decent thumper; Kathy's more educated, more dutiful, really hammering at left bicep, left jug, left eye. Sarah's right hand short, sudden, catching Katherine on the way in, but not backing her off. Heigl's right hand heavier - moving Sarah even when blocked. Both girls hook well off the jab - big women leaning into the left, clouting each other to jug. Sarah bumping and jostling with Kathy inside, holding Heigl up, but inevitably giving ground whenever Heigl's determined to come forward. Sneaky right uppercut in close startles Katherine late - girls fighting with heads, shoulders, gloves closely grouped: Sarah's finally able to walk Heigl backward at bell.

R6: Steady stepping, pounding, grinding action continues - Heigl determined to come forward, out-hit Sarah, then get a body on her to walk or push her backward. Lancaster proving strong, digging her heels in, gritting her teeth when Heigl's shoving against her: two sets of curvy big-girl legs and backsides straining in the routine tests of strength. Even when taken to ropes, Sarah useful with her arms, wriggling for position on Katherine, then muscling blonde into ropes: Heigl constantly forced to wrestle her way back on top as girls maul in tight, struggling embraces. Sloppy at times, but Katherine's jab on the outside the difference: she's shelling away to good effect, only in-fighting with Sarah to use up brunette reserves in wasteful straining.

R7: Sarah giving as good as she gets, jabbing-with Katherine midring, then catching Heigl a particularly tart, swiping hook with the elbow held close to Lancaster's body on delivery. Kathy clouted across her mouth, moved to her left: Lancaster outpunching Heigl early as girls compete at middle distance. Midway through, Lancaster turns on that short right hand, shouldering it onto Katherine's jaw: blonde steps away frowning, slightly wobbly-butt in her silk shorts. Sarah walking Katherine down with a smart jab, then getting on top: Lancaster closing, pushing off like a practiced big-girl, starting to get Heigl moving downhill. Sarah taking care to pound short, flat-knuckle blows against either Heigl bicep - giving big Krusher dose of own medicine. Kathy stabilizes her front late with more of that tight-circumference, curling left/right slugging in the horizontal plane to Sarah's ribs. Lancaster beaten breathless, forced onto her heels as Kathy lowers her head and slugs brawny at bell.

R8: Katherine jabbing, turning over the right hand to Sarah's left shoulder/cheek; stepping into Sarah's jugs with that wide-swiping hook, then bodying up to smother receipts. Lancaster falling off the pace - getting touched up, then walked back in the grasp: she's mouthbreathing, having a hell of time on all fronts. Heigl patient - happy to slam away at Sarah's biceps and lats whenever Lancaster covers up earmuff: Katherine getting work done consistently, thoroughly, finishing her sequence with healthy bumps, pushes or body-ups. Lancaster taken to ropes late, and beaten soundly. Sarah finishes up with dukes at temples, butt-in-ropes as Kathy lays down a drumming.

R9: Sarah bleak, eyes hollow, mouth open: Heigl walks brunette down, jabs her to chest, then palms biceps to crowd-close and walk Lancaster to ropes. Systematic pounding issued as Katherine fights off Sarah's chest: big blonde girl keeping elbows in, clubbing away at brunette biceps/breasts - cuffing and swatting away all beefy. Heigl comes off the body short, curling right uppercuts - cleans up with left hooks: Sarah starting to absorb healthy chin-checks, frequently sitting her hurt in ropes. Kathy bodying up and pushing to stack: Sarah groaning under the weight - she's no longer able to execute clinch-and-reverse tactics to get on top. Final minute - Sarah's bent forward behind her mitts, suffering: Katherine working hard, pushing heels of her hands or forearms into Sarah's shoulders to prop, then getting off big, ponderous shots to either flank. One, two, three right hands - all short, murderous blows off the right foot - take Sarah high in her left flank, just behind the arm in the armpit/side-boob area. Lancaster sighing, eases herself to all fours, spitting her mouthpiece out as she cringes onto her haunches. "Stick a fork in this!" Heigl shouts, gesturing down at beaten Lancaster. Sarah crying, gets her buns up off her haunches twice, but can't get off her knees. KO9 in thudding fashion, Katherine Heigl.

After: Heigl hammering out the verdict, getting big on another big girl and showing her who's boss. "Sarah should quit now before the beatings pile up," a scuffed up Heigl says uncharitably in postfight. "The girl had nothing - she hits like a flyweight - Jess Simpson hits harder than this tart. Give me some competition - that's all I'm saying. Girls like Sarah Lancaster can't last with girls like me - it just doesn't happen!" Lancaster actually exceeding expectations, taking minutes and at least a couple of rounds from a top-flight big woman: it's one to grow on. "As far as I'm concerned," plucky brunette tells celebrity ring a few days hence, "you can book the rematch whenever. Katherine Heigl definitely hasn't seen the last of me."