Posted by simguy on 3/14/2002, 7:13 pm

Before: Classy Zeta J steps in against a bigger, stronger blonde after a long layoff - some pundits calling it a recipe for destruction. BSE moneymen said to be paying close attention to this fight - Sorvino thought to be untapped potential in some corners - she'll be tested by by the Welsh Wonder tonight. Sorvino in beige push up, black bikini bottoms, Zeta Jones in black push up, red bikini bottoms.

During R1: Girls touch gloves, set a workmanlike pace early. Jones darting in and out, hooking off the jab, but she's having trouble with Sorvino's length - brunette misjudging distance, often finds herself scuffed by Mira's pawing right. Sorvino clearly the rawer talent - often not getting good leverage against the moving target, crossing her feet in an attempt to cut the ring down. By the final minute, Catherine's got a nice rhythm, stepping in with the hook, working the big girl's body and head, pivoting out to the side, shooting the straight right to the chest as Sorvino takes punches late.

R2: Jones taking a casual walk to her right, left hand at her side, right hand at her chest - she suddenly jumps in, catching Mira cold with a swiping left hook/straight right hand on the mouth. Sorvino put wobbly butt, reaching to clinch - brunette pivots right, rips at the belly with a busy left mitt and chops at cheek with the cross. Big girl takes a good shot - by the middle minute a slightly dazed Mira Sorvino's driving her right hand into Zeta Jones' chest with a beefy thud, knocking the smaller woman back with brute strength. Jones frustrated by the blonde's resilience, goes back to the patient touch-and-go, hooking the ribs and tummy, bouncing her right hand off Mira's head for points.

R3: Jones having her way. Sorvino standing up tall, hands at chest height, walking straight in - she doesn't really have a way to use her strength and size against a more skilled opponent. Jones changing directions, stooping to shoot the jab to belly, then clip chin with the hook - Sorvino unmoved, but she's taking crowd-pleasing blows flush. Sorvino jabbing in the final minute, once again nails Jones a right hand as the brunette retreats, underestimating Mira's reach.

R4: Jones with the right at her cheek, left across her body, stepping sweetly around her foe, picking Sorvino over with crisp hooks to body and head, short, jolting right hands on either eye, and a smokescreen jab to cover herself stepping out. Jones solving the Sorvino reach this round with feints - Cathy stepping out, twitching her shoulders to fake like she's coming back in - Sorvino stays put and allows the escape. At the bell, a telltale stagger from Mira shows the damage Jones biting punches are doing through 4.

R5: Catherine keeps up the work, utilizing all her tricks to keep Mira from cutting loose. Corner screaming at Sorvino to move her hands and brawl, but Mira's keeping her elbows in, trying to walk Zeta Jones down and get into perfect position first - it's not working. Jones taking the odd glancing blow in order to dip in close and pump her hook up into Mira's breadbasket - that's some good work being done down there.

R6: CLANGING overhand right skids off Mira's temple to open - Sorvino staggering sideways, momentarily defenseless as Zeta Jones flurries the big girl to the ropes. Jones getting cheap, helping herself to trunk with awful low left hands - Sorvino crying out and folding forward to clinch, Jones promptly shoulder-butting the blonde in the mouth to gain the referee's sternest caution. Little dolphin-smirk from Jones as she works Sorvino over at the ropes - blonde with a bad habit of leaning back up straight - Jones able to bend into looping rights and lefts off the face that have Mira staring in swoon at the bell. Big shutout for Jones - Sorvino busted up - she's being routed through 6 as Jones piles up another round.

R7: Catherine loose, loving it - Sorvino tight, afraid to initiate, basically forfeiting all her natural advantages as Jones rolls her up. Cathy working her angles, pivoting right, chopping the right off Sorvino's swollen eye, then digging double low lefts to get satisfying grunts of pain from the big blonde. Still, Sorvino's punching in the final minute, stuffing an awkward right hand into the pit of Jones belly to force the brunette to clinch at the bell. CZJ takes the round, but she's having trouble convincing Sorvino to quit.

R8: Sorvino's corner begging her to body up, work out of the wrap on Jones - Mira goes right back to her jab, trying to step Zeta Jones down, playing right into the cerebral brunette's gameplan. Zeta J stepping around, stuffing the jab into belly, comes off the body with a vicious hook off her front foot and Sorvino's knees give an unwholesome bend to open the second minute. Jones busting Mira with savage 3 and 4 punch bursts, pushing the blonde behind the elbow to turn her, then blitzing her again, but the brunette can't close her out. Round ends with a dazed and bleeding Mira Sorvino sagging in the ropes, getting her face punched raw from a blistering Zeta Jones combination - but Mira won't go down.

R9: Catherine Zeta Jones at her best - a hurting opponent crippled by a long night's beating - brunette goes right back to those trunks with repeated low left hooks to get Sorvino groaning against the ropes. Mira draping herself over Jones, but not tying up effectively - Cathy staying compact, able to get off inside, punishing the bra and belly with biting combinations, getting underneath the big girl to bull her back for more. Final minute as brutal a round of boxing as we've seen in some time - Sorvino grimly hanging on, stooping forward with gloves at her lips - body shots are crippling her, setting up shattering clocks to the jaw and skull that have her swaying on the spot. Accumulation of dreadful power punches finally sends the blonde to all fours in a fog - Jones turns away and casually bangs her knee against Mira's temple as the blonde pouts in exhausted outrage.

R10: Mira Sorvino beaten unrecognizable - face grotesque from the constant pounding, favouring her right side as Zeta Jones' hook has romped to the ribcage all night long. Catherine Zeta J back on top with flinty eyes - OH those vicious, doubled up low hooks - Sorvino's hips shunting back, mouth pouted open groggily as she takes these blows with numb resignation - Jones following up with crisp combination punching to put her girl ropeside once again. All CZJ - Sorvino listless against the ropes swooning, lolling forward and back - not punching, just digging in to go the distance. Jones staying brisk, but not wild - she's putting her punches together, pushing up on Mira in between bursts, harming Sorvino to the body before slashing away to the face. Final minute, Jones working in close, using her left shoulder to prop up in Mira's chest - sudden right uppercut clocks the mouthpiece off Mira's teeth and leaves her destitute. Jones reloads, pulls a tight right hand across the big girl's expressionless face, steps with Mira as she staggers, bites another right across her face - crowd roaring as Mira's left arm flops over Jones' right shoulder - Zeta bumps her shoulder into Mira's chest and curls in another clubbing right hand and SORVINO SPILLS TO THE CANVAS! Mira battered senseless, blinking helplessly under the ropes as she can't get off her back - Vicious KO10 in the dying seconds, Catherine Zeta Jones.

After: Move over Mish Williams/Rachel Stevens - we might have a new beating of the year contestant. Sorvino game early - Jones having to work at chopping the big girl down, but the brunette's overall finesse and efficient defensive movement just too much. Jones accused in days to follow of carrying Sorvino, really doing a number on the blonde for no good reason - CZJ could care less what people think. "I was paid to get Mira in trouble," says Catherine, "how I did it was strictly up to me. The girl has heart - it was my pleasure to take it from her."

Thanks to Apollo for this repost.

Archer 10/19/09