Posted by simguy on 4/16/2004

Before: Ali Landry 100% focused on regaining her belt - buff and fit for the weigh in, business like in prefight. "I'm putting an end to this Hurley farce once and for all," Ali proclaims. "She can't fool me with that southpaw stuff, she can't hurt me, and she can't last with me. If she tries to get my respect, I'll put her down. If she tries to survive, that's fine - I'll grind her up for the decision. Either way, I see no Liz Hurley victory scenarios." Liz taking the threat very seriously - with Theron gone, Landry the most accomplished ex-champ, physically the most daunting and possessed of slick pageant amateur background to rival Liz' own. "For all those who thought I would milk my title with cheap defences and worn opposition, this should put an end to all criticism," says Liz. "I'm about to take the very best American celebrity fighter on the planet apart, and if HBO doesn't like it, they can bloody well kiss my ass." Landry in gold bikini, Liz in Union Jack bikini.

During: Liz meeting Ali midring, then retreating, sprucing Ali up the right jab, luring her to ropes near her corner, quick move to adjacent ropes, and other quick shift to put Landry's back to turnbuckles - pretty stuff. Ali jabbing to chest, trying right crosses to chin early without success. By the midway point, Hurley's strategy evident - give ground, paint Landry with jabs, walk the buxom American into grimy clinches. Ali missing everything up top, but acquitting herself very well inside - hands free, busy to the bust and belly of her foe. Liz giving up body to keep her right arm up around Ali's neck, holding the American close, smothering the punches. Landry doing all the punching, gets the points.

R2,3: HBO suits rolling their eyes - this is why they hate Liz Hurley. Liz patient, baiting her traps, slapping the right jab out from the elbow, stepping to her right, then snuggling in close with Ali - Hurley sliding to the side, jabbing, then clinching - it's ugly, ugly stuff. Landry bogged down, wrestling with Brit's arms, bodying Liz into the ropes, but Hurley very adept with that cute interior angle, smuggling her left hand into tummy, or snug between jug, sneaking right hands in on cheek, then tieing up. Ali punching well to the ribcage and tummy, but hampered as Liz rides one arm or the other around the neck, constantly tugging and twisting the American off balance. Hurley working Landry over in sweaty confines, lacing, elbows, heel-strikes - the works - anything to offset Landry's beefy physical supremacy. Landry unhurt, but drops a pair of rounds, unable to really fight her fight through 3.

R4: Ali able to get a bit more room, still dealing with non-stop Hurley clinches - Landry corner howling loudly anytime ref's in range - but Ali's having a bit more success. Landry can't land anything firm up top - Liz seeing it well, bending and rolling to take the sting off, but Ali doing business downstairs - little rolling combinations, short tapping blows around the hips, up the middle. Ali's round - ugly, hard to score fight through 4 as Hurley stinks out the joint.

R5: Another hard working Landry stanza - Ali still missing anything hard up top from outside, but shoulder to shoulder, she's able to touch Hurley in the midsection. Liz riding an arm around Landry's head, pulling her off balance - anything to stop the American from really setting her feet and getting off. Hurley tucking in the odd left hand body or chin out of the smother - Ali pushing and jabbing for room to pound out short, tic-tac-toe combinations. Tempers flare as Landry's frustration hits boiling point - Hurley smiling from behind the ref, eyes taunting her beautiful quarry.

R6: Struggling, messy battle continues, drawing jeers from a punch-hungry audience. Landry trying to do her part, but Liz snaking to the side, writhing and bending, then coming up with hugs and headlocks. What punching there is consists of Liz' right jab, tight swatting lefts and rights on the inside on Ali's cheeks or against her bulging breasts - Ali's jab, tidy combination punching to the body.

R7: Roar from the crowd as girls approach and Liz surprises Ali with a lead left jammed home onto left side of Ali's jaw - Landry stutter-stepping at the wonderfully timed poke. Liz changing up look and tactics - sliding right, getting her right jab over Ali's left, luring Landry to ropes, spinning her, sliding away. Midway through, Liz dips right and pounds a straight left hand awkwardly to the chin, dips left and lathers her right hand across Landry's waist. Ali shook for the first time in the fight, stumbles forward and eats ALL of a lanky Liz Hurley left uppercut. ALI TAKES A KNEE! American never sees punch, spills to all fours - Hurley grinning as she saunters to neutral corner, kissing her left mitt and raising it to the crowd. Landry up immediately, more shocked than hurt, but haunted by a knockdown in a close, tactical fight. How many times have we seen this? Hurley gets an advantage - other girl is forced to open up and try to press - Liz hangs back in the pocket and starts to hit the openings with slicing right hooks, drilling straight lefts. Pretty shutout Liz Hurley - Ali caught with a hard poke, picked apart thereafter.

R8: Liz has Ali pressing - Hurley in her element. Liz pointing her right shoulder at Landry, right hand at her hip, left up around the chin, bending and twisting her torso to slip Landry right hands, bob under the jabs, hooks. Liz dragging her front (right foot), sliding back, getting anxious Ali to over-extend, then touching her - right jab in the mouth, stubby lefts on the left side of the jaw or jammed snug between jug. Hurley not even trying to hurt Ali, just making her miss, touching her clean so judges can see it. At the bell, girls side by side at the ropes - opportunistic Liz to the right of the picture - Hurley smuggles a cheap right elbow tip back into Ali's sternum, neatly parting those heroic melons with tricep - ref doesn't catch the infraction. Liz: breezy smile, shaking the hair off her face as she struts back to her corner.

R9: Liz to the ropes, purely defensive now - Ali wading in desperate to make something happen. It's Landry working - all short punches, little tippy-tap lefts and rights up the middle, then stronger hooks or right hands up top. Liz in the closed stance, right across her middle, left at her cheek, twisting and bending - Landry's making glancing, skidding contact against the defense. Classic Hurley moment midway through - she sinks into the ropes, tying up both Ali's arms around the triceps - American stuck in quicksand, throwing back her head to scream in frustration, furiously tugging her arms to free them. Ref moves in to break the clinch and Liz HEADBUTTS Ali under the left eye. Warning for Liz - Landry outraged and angered - she wades in recklessly and starts swarming Hurley with easy to read, swinging haymakers. Hurley bobbing, slipping and clinching, gives up a shutout, doesn't get hurt - somehow it's Landry going back to her corner with a shiner despite dominating every second of the stanza.

R10: Ali has to go for broke - Hurley supple in the pocket, rolling, spinning, turning her girl midring, slapping and pestering her right jabs, hooks, sliding back and walking Ali into firm counter-lefts up the middle. Landry doubling up the jab, then staking all on searing right hands - each and every one missing the mark as Hurley pivots, rolls or otherwise evades them. Landry getting mouth on shoulder with Liz and immediately snuggled up - Liz taunting in the clinches, keeping Landry's emotions in turmoil - Ali knows she's running out of time. Another messy, low-output round, neatly crafted by Liz Hurley - fight ends fittingly with Ali struggling to wrench her arms out of a shameless Hurley clinch. Comes back UD10 for the winner and STILL welterweight champ - Elizabeth Hurley!

After: Ali brushing away tears of disappointment - psychologically frustrating night as she felt dominant and aggressive, but simply couldn't make anything look good against the sorceress. Hurley putting together maybe the ugliest title defence in FCBA history, but masterfully so - powerful Landry unable to land a single clean blow to the chin of her opponent despite outthrowing the champ by a significant margin. The only memorable offensive visual from the fight? Liz' 7th round knockdown of Ali, off a sneaky, well timed counter. Love her or hate her - Hurley manufacturing wins against big, strong, young American celebrities - she's the scourge of the FCBA with these baffling victories.