MACK TO FISHEL: "STAY PUT...OR YOU'LL REGRET IT!"

"I retired Dani Fishel once," Allison Mack tells Celebrity Ring in this month's ish. "I want that on my resume - WITHOUT an asterisk. Dani comes back, I'll destroy her. It's not a move she wants to make."

AMY JO JOHNSON: "I SMELL WEAKNESS..."

...in one Kate Bosworth, following Kate's dismissal at the swift mitts of Kristen Bell. "If Kate couldn't handle Krissy's combinations - there's no way she can deal with mine." I confident Johnson reveals in the current ish of Might MIte Magazine. "If I can get Bosworth, I'll fight her anywhere. If not, I'd love to go toe-to-toe with Bell and show her what real combination-punching looks like!"

CELEBRITY RING'S SPECIAL BANTAM DIV PULL OUT

CR has a nice all-glossy 12 page pull out dealing exclusively with the bantam division. Some of the articles are titled: "How Good is Grace Park?"; "Can Kate Beckinsale Come Back?"; and "Can Dani Fishel be Dominant Again?"

KRISTA ALLEN: "I'VE REMOVED JENNY MCCARTHY FROM THE BOARD!"

Allen gloats at length on her thrashing of Jenny McCarthy in the pages of "Crouching Cougar" magazine. Allen talks about how she's still "open for business," how she'd dominate the so-called Durance-class lightweights if given the chance, and she has a few sharp words for Katherine Heigl and other "dinosaurs" at sub 130.

JENNY O'DELL...BUSINESS WOMAN

Former lightweight champ, beach legend, and all 'round badass Jenny O'Dell has turned her fearsome talents to promotion...with tremendous results. "L.A. Entrepeneur" Magazine (a non-boxing publication) has a nice article on Jenny - revealing how she pushed Kiana Tom Enterprises out of the LA scene, and how she's rapidly becoming the promoter of choice for clubs, West Coast beaches, Vegas nightspots, singles-condos and private parties.

LAURA V ON MISSY P

Laura Vandervoort is a special guest columnist in this month's BLONDE! Magazine - assigned to break down Missy Peregrym's game for readers. Having fought Missy recently, Laura gives a surprisingly respectful, balanced report, and speculates upon how she thinks Missy would do against uber-blondes Kaley Cuoco and Ali Larter.

"WILL LARTER/BIEL HAPPEN?"

Tractorpull Magazine has a lengthy feature on the potential showdown between the two remaining lightweight super-powers. Plenty of insightful quotes from rival lightweights, not to mention TP's usual brand of razor-sharp analysis make this a must-read for division-followers.

ON AGAIN, OFF AGAIN LEGENDS TOURNAMENT

Jennifer O'Dell has been working round the clock to make the proposed Electra, Hayek, Liu, Peeples showdown work. "It's tough," O'dell tells BLONDE! Mag this month. "You've got 4 hall of fame egos, and women who absolute hate each other as fighting rivals. We can't even decide if it should be round-robin, elimination or what - let alone venue/purse splits and so on. But it's been a dream of mine to see these women sort things out at this stage of their careers - so I'm not giving up on it!"

TAYLOR COLE: OLDER, WISER, UPGUNNED!

Taylor Cole is profiled in this month's Celebrity Ring. The beach brawling badass has had some out-of-the-ring difficulties of late, but a recurring role on Heroes has gotten the beautiful brunette noticed once again. "I'd love to feature against Amanda Righetti" Cole reveals. "Beating her would prove I haven't lost a step, and that I'm still a legit title threat."

GREASE-GATE! WITT ACCUSED OF CHEATING...

...by Catherine Zeta Jones. In a prepared statement delivered to FCBA front offices, Jones supplied video evidence and described how Witt's trainers rubbed vaseline into Alicia's shoulders, back and arms during her recent successful performance against Charlize Theron. "The vaseline makes Alicia ungrippable," Jones contends, "and was the decisive cause of my own, not to mention Theron's, defeat at the hands of this otherwise average fighter. Immediate, and vigorous censure is called for." When asked for her opinion, Charlize Theron refused to support the Jones suit. "Alicia IS very wriggly," the blondazon admits, "but she beat me with hard punches. If you ask me, it's Catherine who needs to be censured. Either that, or given a good swift kick in the pants!" Alicia Witt for her part, has countered in unequivocal terms that her trainer "massages my muscles throughout my fights to avoid cramping: no vaseline is employed. Jones has suffered several recent setbacks to me on carpet and in the ring, and while understandable, her desperation is most unbecoming."

ALSO NOTE FROM J J ABRAMS

Posted by simguy on 3/21/2009, 12:59 pm, in reply to "Fighter's digest: capsule comments culled from various sources