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22 Nov 2007 Jenny McCarthy vs Jennifer Connelly

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 8 months ago

Jenny McCarthy 09.jpg Jennifer Connelly 8.jpg

Posted by simguy on 11/22/2007, 8:51 am

Before: "I respect Connelly," JMac opens diplomatically enough in prefight. "Don't like her much, but I respect her. She's more a politician than a fighter really - always spinning her achievements, waving her Oscar around - there's always the sense that she's this huge figure at 120, but really, she's just another brunette looking for attention. She fights girls she knows she can beat, and she avoids girls like me - I get it - it's the smart play. Now that I'm finally in front of her again, I'm not letting her out of my sight without a beatdown. Go ahead and print that boys - Jenny Mac predicts a beatdown for Jennifer Connelly - hard, long, and rough." Connelly nonplussed - and distinctly unimpressed with the McCarthy comeback. "I look at how Jenny struggled to get on top of Cox and I just wonder - what's she going to do differently? It's no secret that Cox and I are very similar stylistically, except that I'm more accomplished and stronger - if anything, I'd think the margin of victory will be even wider in my case. But I like letting Jenny run her mouth - makes shutting it all the sweeter." Jenny Mac in metallic blue bikini (slight boy leg), small white gloves, short bob hair. Connelly in black bikini; black hair wet, slicked back in ponytail; small black gloves. Mac a brat during ring instrux - stepping-to and standing nose tip to nose tip with Connelly as crowd oohs and aahs.

During R1: Connelly circles right, doubles up her jab to range in, slashes a buggy-whip right hand in above McCarthy's left hip. JMac with dukes up at temples, sponges the body shot, rips back a thudding right/left to Connelly's ribs; girls trade lusty hooks to breasts, then disengage. That's the way of it - circle, eyes narrowed, lips curling in snarls - then curl-in, get off vicious. Trade hot and even until late - Connelly disengaging gets tagged a gambling right cross, unhinging her knees. JC still finding her balance when Mac hops-to, hooks the chin, bends in a tidy overhand right and SENDS CONNELLY SCOOTING TO HER TUSH! JC up quickly, but rocked - Mac looking fierce as she forces eye contact at bell.

R2: Connelly circles right, doubles up her jab to close, buggy-whips the right hand in above blonde left hip; hooks Mac's midriff as blonde's stooped forward dukes high. Connelly staying on her front (left) foot, cranking short, biting left uppercuts - taking JMac between the eyes once, twice. Mac inches forward - Connelly pivots right, curls the outside-in right uppercut mitt-splitter upstairs, then rip-hooks blonde midriff. Blistering pace set by brunette as she pivots, picks her blonde up, then turns her. Mac taking a great shot, unpacks a nasty, stiff jab from her temple to punch Connelly's face back and break up Connelly combinations - but brunette's ring generalship and greater offensive output take the round.

R3: Mac forward in that high-guard crouch - punching out that stiff, prodding jab to good effect. Mac able to step-in, rip right/left to ribs, then trade hooks as Connelly's punching off her heels. JMac banging out good tough touches - beating the ribcage, hooking the breasts and clobbering Connelly about head and shoulder. JC giving ground, but pivoting to avoid going straight back - she's walking Mac into sticky-vicious left uppercuts to midsection, getting after those jugs, placing buggy-whip right hands behind JMac's left ear. Blonde pressure decisive - both women landing exquisite blows in furious action - neither showing any clear signs of hurt.

R4: Connelly elects to bang for respect - result is savage back and forth bodywork. JConn tilted forward, ripping right/left with a great cranking action of thrashing limbs. Mac absorbing terrible ribcage damage, then slamming back right/left - her punches carving in a wider arc than Connelly's chugging-up-the-middle delivery. Heads in close as girls bump and pivot for position, then get off with unforgiving fury - glorious stuff. Breasts? Innocent juggy bystanders get clobbered on occasion - collateral damage to be expected when body-trade gets this bitter. Non-stop, grunting brutality - girls in strong, wide stances leaning in, shouldering each other, then belting away their cruelest blows. Mac's heavy hands proving decisive in such no-frills toe-to-toe - Connelly banged up, breathing hard, nicely disheveled through 4.

R5: Connelly elects to attack up the gut again: brunette stubbornly looking to impose her will in expensive, hellish back and forth. Small mitts spanking off pink ribs, trembling tummies, quivering jug - women just leaning forward, thrashing away in carving arcs underneath. Connelly gritting her teeth, willing herself forward - she's hammering out a slight advantage this round as Mac gives ground grudgingly.

R6: Connelly punched for hard-won respect last round - she gets on her toes this round, turns boxer to circle Mac midring. Jenny Mac snarling, dukes at temples, turning - she's starting to face into Connelly's jab, getting beat to punches as JC pokes and drills away from outside. JCon stepping right, pumping jabs, then committing on buggy-whip right hands to ear or hip on McCarthy - withering fare designed to whittle away at sturdy blonde defences. JMac strong, turning into the attack and weathering it - but down the stretch - Connelly right hands starting to win cringe from shaken blonde. Hip and head, hip and head - Connelly hacking viciously at McCarthy, tilting in close and getting off with that whippy right: she's got Mac bending at last.

R7: Firm McCarthy jab bounces off brunette eye, screening the BOOMING right hand chaser: DOWN GOES CONNELLY! JC on her back - badly hurt this time: beaming Mac jogging to neutral corner and pumping her fist at crowd. Creaky 8 Connelly - she fights off the KO, digs in at apron: she's got a long round ahead of her.

Cue beatdown.

Mac steps-to, squares up, has her way. Thick, strapping hooks dug deep to midsection - Connelly shouting in pain as she curls forward over the punches. Clipping, curling uppercuts - lefts and rights, from either foot - constantly brushing Connelly upright, spilling her against ropes. Steady, thudding abuse mounted to ribcage - McCarthy hammering away rights and lefts in tight, roundhouse arcs - then shouldering brunette back into cables to reset. On and on - Connelly battered into stupor, but grimly blocking and rolling, eyes still focused as she rides it out rugged. Bell: Mac breathing hard, eyes smoldering with satisfaction - her thudding power answering Connelly's well-schooled punching through 7.

R8: Crowd roaring as a tired Jen Connelly eats a pounding right cross - her head jolted hard to starboard, her hands stacked right atop left, chest and tummy. JC shook, but rallying - she steps right, feints, leads the right cross and comes back underneath with a gouging left hook to blonde tummy. Mac pushing her way forward, hooking Connelly's jugs, then shouldering her backward - Connelly still weak-kneed from that early right hand can't hold her canvas. Vicious back and forth all around the ring - Mac walking Connelly down, spearing her that heavy jab to set the table for withering exchanges of hooks, crosses, and body-banging roundhouses.

R9: Connelly halts blonde aggression, controls Jenny in a hot-boxing 9th. JC stepping right around her jab (away from Jenny's right) - leaning in to get the buggy-whip right to Jenny's ear or hip; hooking Jenny thick n' tidy in close, then clinching for ref's break. Clever stop and go robbing blonde of momentum: JMac had been getting the better of the tit-for-tat, but she's being robbed of her tat by Connellys' tie ups. Down the stretch, Mac in that high-guard crouch gets ripped a determined series of left uppercuts as Connelly jerks 'em off the front (left) foot: blonde put wobbly butt by short, cranking series of lefts at bell.

R10: Already vicious contest turns wincemaking as both women sell their souls to hurt the other to the body. Glorious, ripping, lashing licks Connelly to Mac, taking the blonde up underneath; hammering, cudgelling rights and lefts slamming Mac-to-Connelly, taking brunette in her ribs and breasts. Midway through, Connelly showing signs of wilting, but she walks Jenny into that buggy-whip right behind the ear, then hooks the solar-plexus just so: MCCARTHY'S HURT! Jenny blurting out in pain, cramping up: Connelly ruthless, stays on that midsection with ripping, withering hooks off the front foot. Mac uprooted from her stance, tempest-tossed to her corner: Connelly stalking, walks her down and MCCARTHY WON'T HAVE IT! Brunette looking to close out her blonde - blonde firms, bares her teeth, pounding away short lefts and rights inside to clobber Connelly about both cheeks. Connelly wobbly butt, refuses to back off, electing to dig instead to McCarthy's breadbasket via the hook. Mac wobbly-butt, sobbing out from body shots she can no longer absorb - she digs in, suffers, and answers back in kind when it's her turn. Bell; ref jumps in to save both fighters from themselves as each wants to be last woman standing. Comes back razor thin duke, UD10...JENNY MCCARTHY!

After: Connelly beaten puffy, stands in mute astonishment, bleak and battered after 10 tuff rounds of Jmac. McCarthy jumping, screeching in triumph, then falling into arms of her trainer: huge win breathes new life into blonde's career as she paves the way to victory with knockdowns of her classy foe. "I'm back," a breathless JMac crows when she composes herself. "I just wasn't having it from Connelly tonight - she wanted to dig with me inside, I dug with her; she wanted to box with me, I boxed her. I felt I was stronger and more willful - anytime we traded punches I felt I got the better of it. She's all banged up and I'm loving it, because really - she's such a snooty witch most of the time. Nobody deserves to be humbled more than Jennifer Connelly!"