Posted by simguy on 9/22/2007

Before: "You have to understand what it means to a young British girl to beat Catherine Zeta Jones," a serious Kelly tells Celebrity Ring magazine. "When she was preparing to move to the US, she absolutely conquered the isles first, and it was legendary. She would come into your town, and if you were pretty, she would dominate you - then move on. She was fighting weathergirls and barmaids - not just actresses and celebrities - because she wanted to secure the UK and leave her stamp. Only Hurley never bent the knee, but rest assured - the rest of England groaned under Catherine's tyranny. So to us, the new generation, she's the queen, and she must be toppled. I never got the chance to see Hurley off, so I definitely want to be the one to send Catherine into her dotage. These are her last fights: I urgently want to be the one in the ring when Zeta Jones finally gets old!" Jones hearing more and more of this kind of thing - hard pressed at home as well as abroad - but she remains adamant about her status. "I won't have this from Kelly," Jones purrs at the podium. "It is not yet her time. She thinks to supplant me, but this can never be: a cheap, tawdry, bikini-shilling gutter-slut will never bring down Catherine Zeta Jones. Never." Jones in lemon yellow bikini, black gloves. Kelly in bulging baby blue bikini, white gloves; hair in light brown wiry ringlets.

During R1,2: Hard punching collisions: Jones edging her way inside - Kelly looking to ring her up en-route. Catherine fighting off Brook's chest for the most part - crowding Kelly, tidying up her midsection, then swatting curling hooks across those heaving melons. Brook accomodative - pushing her left shoulder into Catherine, answering with right hands plugged to tummy/hooks to jug - bumping and mauling in numerous clinches. It's a good range for Catherine - she's latching on and tying up for rest-breaks, then snapping quick hooks head and body/sneaky right hands to chin - Kelly frequently jolted and forced to back up. Both women insistent upon the other's breasts: Jones swatting and kneading - Kelly batting hooks against Catherine rack and ribs with a straight, shivering arm.

R3: Kelly using the jab a bit - buying space: she's widening her stance, cranking hooks with much more hip and back behind them. Jones wilting in the face of these fearsome hooks - great strapping, straight arm wallops - Brook's long, curvy arm shivering as she bats away on Jones' front. Catherine grimacing - covering up - often turning away and retreating to her right - stalked and hounded by relentless Kelly. Crowd shouting out "OH!" in sympathy with the loud spank erupting off Jones' breasts and tummy - Kelly walking her down and giving her what-for in the third.

R4: Jones covering up, huddling down, taking Kelly's hook on a sacrificial flank - then catching Brook a swift right cross/left hook out of the crouch. Cathy's counterpunching effective - Brook stymied, forced to back up and regroup: Jones back over to offence. Right hands squirt through - often off feints or step-rights - Brook confused as Catherine locates chin with authority. Fight drifts to ropes - Jones on top - her head pushing at Kelly's face, hands inside Kelly's shoulders. Jones snappin' and snatchin' tidy - working Brook's midriff and tits to bell. RIGHT HAND JONES - CHEAP N' LATE! Kelly relaxing after the bell, gets caught a clout, draping her blinking against ropes: ref grabs snarling Jones from behind and escorts her to corner.

R5,6: Systematic reduction of Brook by a heartless, relentless Catherine Zeta Jones. Jones spitting a quick poke, edging her shoulder into Kelly's chest, then munching away at close quarters. Brook glum - either reaching round Cathy's shoulders to tie up, or covering up and folding forward onto Catherine's shoulder. Jones able to step forward in increments, touch her girl to tummy; carve uppercuts in close; club away to either ear. Brook's breasts under constant, measured siege: Jones not a wildcat jug-mugger like a Brittany Daniel - this is hurtful, careful, considered swat being administered to Brook's majestic twins. Kelly weepy under the beating - sniffing and sniveling - being pushed around and worked over at a steady rate. Older woman able to set the pace - something she can sustain: younger women not doing enough to renegotiate the energy-agenda.

R7: Kelly's fearsome, strapping hook still the hardest punch in the fight - when she gets her feet right, pops her hips into the shots, Catherine can't stand against it. Jones shying away as Brook belts those shivering lefts against expensive Jones torso - these are the happy moments for Kelly: it's her coming forward, walking a discouraged Jones down. Brook also jabbing a retreating Jones over Cathy's left shoulder - worrying that eye: Jones automatically flinching and ducking to her right, anticipating Kelly's ruinous right cross. Brook can't land the right, but her hooks are enough: she beats Catherine into stupor this round, hounding her corner to corner at a patient walk.

R8: Is Jones starting to get old? Catherine mouth breathing, shying away: when Brook closes - Jones is reaching round the back to clinch. Kelly responds with that pummeling jab - refusing to walk easily into Catherine's clinch: Jones forced to walk away, exposing herself to Kelly's rampaging right in the process. Jones still ducking out of the way of Kelly's crosses, but those hooks! Kelly unleashing a torrent of batting leather from the portside, smashing away at all things Catherine. Long, withering retreat for Jones - face starting to bust up, breasts rosy with punishment, ribs cranky through 8.

R9: Kelly pressing, looking to conclude matters with that searing right cross: Jones reads it, slips it, counters with a biting hook to rightside ribs, quick-strike hook to chin and KELLY GOES DOWN! Jones haughty, strutting past with a baleful glare at her sputtering foe: tears of disappointment for Kelly as she punches canvas and struggles up for 8. Jones immediately pushing in - not to finish so much as to smother. Catherine pancaking Kelly to ropes, clinching and mauling. While holding Kel in the crook of the left arm, Catherine cam jam the right hand into tummy or jugs, then scramble to keep struggling Brook pinned down. Brook crying out as Catherine digs to trunks for the first time - cleverly shielding each infraction with her pale body - referee trying to step to better spots from which to view the action. Jones holding and hitting, tying up, laying on Kelly - anything to keep Brook from slugging her way back into the round. At the bell - Brook has been fouled, tossed, abused: she vents her frustration on a bewildered ref who can only blink into the screeching.

R10: Catherine's spent: there's the don't-hurt-me jab, the nervous retreating sidesteps - she's just looking to leg out the round. Kelly grimly determined, lips set tight: she's walking Jones down behind a pulsing jab, looking to end matters via the long right cross and ripping left uppercut. Jones wily - slipping Kelly's right as she has all night long, then reaching in to clinch: ref tugging at Jones' brawny shoulders/rounded biceps to get her to release Kelly's torso. Brook in charge, but unable to find the off-switch: Jones gives away the tenth to make it to the finish line. Comes back UD10 - Catherine Zeta Jones.

After: Brook inching closer - she was physically fresher at the end this time, but still giving away too many moments to the most cunning veteran in the sport. Catherine playing her cards well - crowding and smothering, working the body and breasts, countering well in spots, and above all - managing Brook's fight-winning right hands. "Once again, I rule," an exhausted Jones says, dabbing at her face with a white towel. "Kelly was fortunate to finish on her feet - I did break her spirit and loosen her legs, but she's firmer now than in her youth - less likely to lie down. I'm happy with the beating - I think it served it's purpose. There'll be no more talk of Kelly Brook seeing me off into retirement, or else!"