ULTIMATE FIGHTER VS TECH UNLIMITED STABLE WAR #4

Posted by simguy on 5/25/2007, 6:53 pm

Before: "Could a jersey-milk cow beat a thoroughbred in a race?" Jessica asks assembled press in days leading up to Johansson/Alba. "Of course not! Look at my body: look at hers. She's got a mud-wrestler's PAUNCH for God's sake! She can't go rounds with me - I mean, hello: roadwork? Ever heard of it? Scarlett's getting her fat keister kicked and that's all there is to it!" Johansson demure, grinning throughout Jessica's impassioned tirade. "Sounds like some-body's jeal-ous," Scarlett sings, batting her eyelashes at fuming Jess. "Seriously - Jessica spends more time obsessing over my curves than my fans. It's understandable - we all want what we don't have. Except me of course: I'm happy. Oh, and Jess? The cow wins the race if it knocks the horse out at the start, then just walks the course - you follow?" Alba in long blonde locks; baby blue bikini top; white belted baby blue bottoms; white gloves. Scarlet in hulking hot-pink lace push up; navy bottoms; white gloves.

During R1: Scarlett comes out southpaw - right shoulder edged towards Jess; Jessica's orthodox (left shoulder angled towards Scarlett). Alba feinting early, baiting Scarlett - then dropping a swift lead right hand bingo on the chin. Johansson staggering backwards, eyes wide - she's caught again on the face as Alba hops-with, firing sharp right hands up the middle. Johansson hits ropes, ducks on instinct: Alba snarling, misses a right/left swish-swish over the top. Alba shifting to her right - weight on right leg - raking hooks across Scarlett's front: Johansson's jugs clawed, her face clouted - crowd roaring as Scarlett ships licks. Johansson bobbing wildly - steps/spins off the ropes, circles 'round Alba's left flank as girls renegotiate back to midring.

Middle minute - Scarlett calming Jess down with a pawing right jab - just swatting at Jessica's left hand, then trying to flick the poke at Alba's face. Jessica seething - right hand cocked at her chest: she wants more chin, but starting to miss the angle as Scarlett's got her right foot outside Jessi's left, gently turning Alba's right flank.

Scarlett bobbing, getting under Alba's hopeful right hands - Johansson holding her left elbow very tight against her body, left hand under her chin: she comes out of a crouch, twists torso-right, drops the tidiest left hand of her career onto Jessi's chin with a chop: Alba reels away hurt. Scarlett bouncing forward, jugs a-jumping: she pokes another sneaky lead left hand to the left side of Jessi's face, then poke-thrusts a left into Jessi's body as Alba's backpedaling. Scarlett menacing Alba's left flank - feinting her, pawing the jab, bobbing - then dropping those tidy, straight left hands - ringing 'em off Alba's chin. Final minute - Jessica's long, thoroughbred legs starting to shimmy and buckle - she's staggering around, lips parted, eyes forlorn: Scarlett stalking, crouching, stepping and getting single left hands over and over and over - just knocking insistently at Jessica's skull. DOWN GOES ALBA! Scarlett timing her pounce just right - dips, then lunges, punching her left hand onto Jessi's mouth, dropping weary Latina to her backside at the ropes. Crowd delirious: Scarlett grinning big, batting her mitts as she drinks in the sight of frustrated Jessi sitting up pretty on the apron.

R2: Alba's knees wonky - eyelashes fluttering - she's hurt, discouraged. Scarlett the aggressor - constantly stepping to her right, her lead (right) foot outside Jessi's left - pawing and distracting with her right hand while keeping that left fist coiled and ready. Scarlett stalking patiently - bobbing to get under Alba's sliding left/rights, then looking to time the straight left out of the crouch, catching Jess on her mouth. Scarlett also looking for a swinging left to the pit of Jessica's stomach, beating svelte midsection stout clout - Alba distraught, stumbling back on her heels, making only glancing contact with her increasingly panicky punching. Final minute - Scarlett stepping in a smidge closer, really ringing her left hand off the left side of Jessi's face now: poor Alba has no answers. Each connect seems to loosen Jessi the more - she's stumbling around loose-limbed, hands out of position, face haggard: Scarlett grinning as she walks Jess down, crouching and pouncing from outside Alba's right shoulder. Again - a straight, pounding left hand out of the crouch rocks Jessi's head back, unhinging her knees and sending her sprawling to her back. Alba sobbing, chest heaving - hands up above her head, knees raised - she's just lying there blubbering, unable to get off her back! KO2 in forthright fashion - Scarlett Johansson!

After: TU bench mobs curvy Johansson - girls jumping around Scarlett in a cluster. Alba sitting up, crying as TU celebrations careen onto her - Biel accidentally stomping/tumbling over Jessica and Ultimate bench clears, thinking it to be a deliberate trample. Fighting Academy vixens swarming in under and over the ropes - TU beauties suddenly turning to swing away bare-knuckle: it's total, absolute chaos as bodies hurtle, fists fly. Officials scramble and flood the ring - long delay as the various couplings are separated - two sides eventually pushed apart - every girl intent on savaging someone - anyone - from the otherside. Series tied 2-2 - emotions running high going into Biel/Pratt.