Posted by simguy on 11/27/2004

Before: Security separating hot blooded flyweights at all prefight venues - tensions couldn't be higher. Hayek favoured coming in, but Hewitt's really grown this year - she's varied her game, she still has the boxing, but she's committed to rage when she's needed it and she just might have the Fight of the Year locked up for that breathtaking Gellar bout. "It is my year," Jen says solemnly, "I really believe that. A lot of people said I'd never be durable enough to compete with the Salma Hayeks of this sport, but here I am and I'll tell you this: I'm going to be right in front of her all night long. You can't back off a bully: you have to show them who's boss." Hayek supremely confident, repeatedly drawing a thumb across her throat regardless of the instant fine - she tosses out the last result as an aberration. "Jennifer Love Hewitt could not beat me again if I came in blindfolded. She's nothing - a tramp, a puta - I will torture this girl and make an example of her for all time!" Hewitt in lucky white string bikini, Hayek in red bikini (go see the movie). Ref keeping a hand in between trembling bellies during instructions - ready to jump in as girls practically writhing to get at one another.

During R1: Hewitt swiftly off her stool, charging into Salma and HAYEK BACKS JEN UP! Shattering straight lefts and rights - Hayek snarling as she smashes Jen's cheeks and jaw, stunning Hewitt, stacking her up and toppling her backward - JLH driven into the ropes and shook as Salma puts a tidy three punch combo bashing off the face. HAYEK GOES RACK! Hewitt limp - Salma braces her with a propping left on the right arm and gets up in there with DIGGING rights - sheer hatred on every pumping thrust. Jenny boozy, open-mouthed - she drapes her arms around Salma's head and shoulders - Hayek reaches under the arms to body her girl to the ropes and come up mugging. Jenny's jugs clobbered senseless, but down the stretch - HEWITT ANSWERS! Jenny digging down again, seemingly out on her feet - she dips and rips tidy lefts and rights to the offending rack, backing Hayek up in grudging stages. Hammer and tongs at the bell - flyweights laying in mouth on shoulders, taking turns scrounging up underneath - crowd roaring as the ref breaks it up.

R2: Jennifer marching forward as promised, wide stance, sliding the right overtop and coming back a slashing left to Hayek's jugs - Salma back with hooks of her own as girls swap shots midring. Toe to toe, Hayek just hammering Jennifer senseless - hooks in the hip, hooks in the liver, hooks on the chin - Hewitt spills glassy eyed to the ropes and HAYEK GOES JUG! Salma smart - waiting till she can get Jen stacked up and trapped before helping herself to beef - poor Hewitt groaning, reduced to tieing up head and arm on Hayek again. Salma brawling her way clear of clinches - tangy shoulder-butts in the mouth, couple of robust low-blow hooks and Jenny's helpless again. All Hayek to the bell, palming Jenny upright, dipping her shoulders and ripping up in there - woozy Hewitt hugging throbbing jugs after the break, tears welling up.

R3: Girls lay in cheek by jowl - what is Hewitt thinking? Close in, constant warfare - girls tightening up stroke - not as wild as it has been. Both like to ride an arm around the other to cuddle the opponent for body punches, gentle counterclockwise stagger as both take turns working up underneath. Jugs under non-stop attack - both beauties cuffing, swatting, chopping in tight, shrugging punches in with sexy shoulder-rotating action. Impossible to score - maybe it's Hayek's fight but Jennifer gives as good as she gets in a torrid third.

R4: Same again - girls crowding in close, hips back so there's room underneath, but this time, Salma turns up the heat. Jennifer stepped back to the ropes and she is PUMMELED this round as Hayek has her way. Salma staying close, leaning in with her shoulder at times, propping Jen with the extended left elbow, then tucking in hooks and slutty right hands. Hayek working jug, but systematically punishing the body too. Hooks dig and bounce off Hewitt's shiny right side. Rolling combinations bash off the Hewitt midriff. Tidy uppercuts cash in Hewitt's chin as she stoops forward and those ribs are brutalized as Salma turns her hips and gets in there thick. Jen open mouthed, hands up, drooping forward off the ropes - she soaks it up bell to bell and has Salma breathing hard after a roasting shutout.

R5: Jennifer crippled to the body, but she's the one initiating - she tags Salma a sticky one-two, then sloshes a hook to the jaw, clouts a right to jaw, arches her back to hoist in the left uppercut. Hayek crossing her arms, turning her shoulders - she's tired, wants a round off. Hewitt coming forward - hard right hands to the body landing loud, drawing boozy pouts of complaint from Hayek - Salma retreats to the ropes and sets up earmuff. Systematic Jen, leaning forward with her guard on Salma's - punching tidy from there: hooks and right hands to the ribs and waist; doubled up hooks ear and body - nice splashy contact; carving uppercuts to split the mitts. Hayek just sitting in the ropes soaking - taking a lot of punishment as Jen pushes the pace.

R6: Hayek achy on her stool, whining to her corner - she stands, barely gets her mouthpiece in when JENNIFER TACKLES SALMA INTO HER CORNER! Moment's worth of jostling, then Hewitt's digging to paunch, laying in close, rotating her shoulders - now she's carving the uppercuts, brushing Salma back woozy and NOW SHE'S GOING JUG! Hewitt's buttocks lively in ivory bottoms - feet wide as she plugs to jug with every ounce of venom in that little body. Hayek bleak, staring, mouthpiece slides off teeth to dribble down her chest as Jen TEARS it up! THE CHIN! Hewitt curling left uppercuts, curling right uppercuts - snapping Salma's head back and it's lolling forward loose! Back to those jugs - Hewitt mauling, nudging Salma back with the left forearm as part of the slugging rhythm. Hayek drooping, hands falling - THERE'S NOTHING COMING BACK! Jennifer taking rack - all of it - every bit of it - pounding away on defenceless, KO'd Salma Hayek torso and HAYEK GOES DOWN! Salma drifting out on her feet, but held up by the sheer fury of Jennifer's slugging - Latina finally slides sideways and sprawls out cold at Hewitt's feet. KO6 in heartstopping fashion - Jennifer Love Hewitt!

After: Upset - but not the upset it would have been last year - hungry hungry Hewitt takes a shellacking and keeps on attacking to drive Salma Hayek out of there! HBO no dummies - they slap that swan lake tape in good and early: we'll need to rely on a Samdog report for any kind of aftermath that may or may not occur.