Posted by simguy on 3/28/2002, 11:46 am

Before: Kelly Ripa looking to get back on track – meteoric rise brought to a shuddering halt by hall of famer Lucy Liu, but Kelly determined to take it in stride. Bertinelli similar in many respects to Ripa in the ring – could be an intriguing contest if Val can get out of the blocks in a hurry. Kelly in black jockey bra and panties, white waistband, gloves and shoes – Bertinelli in teal sportsbra top, grey stretch cotton aerobics briefs.

During R1: Kelly scooting into position ala Marco Antonio Barerra, hands loose, elbows in – Val set in a rigid high guard. Moments in, Ripa batting away at the arms and gloves, extends a left hand to Val’s chest, bangs out a straight right hand and sits Bertinelli down at the ropes for a shattering 8. Second minute, Ripa chasing Val down all over the ring, bangs the straight right hand up top, digs the left hook to the rightside ribs – Val folds up in pain and drops to her knees for the second knockdown of the round. Final minute – Ripa using a fencer’s stomp to herd Val to the ropes, straight right hands and left hooks bashing away at Bertinelli’s wilting defence. Hard punching to the face and head stuns Val who drops awkwardly to her left knee while falling back into the ropes – rare 3 knockdown round for Ripa sends Val in tears to her corner for some hasty propping up.

R2: Val looking to stand her ground, girls all compact, shoulder to shoulder mid ring, trying to catch each other punching and Ripa gets the better of banging trade. Val getting blocked and clocked – Ripa very quick on the inside, rolling with Bertinelli’s punches and answering back as Bertinelli takes clean. Clobbering lefts and rights back Val to the ropes – Ripa steps in southpaw, weight on her front (right) foot, leaning just outside Val’s left shoulder in order to curl in repeated right uppercuts that have Bertinelli sagging against the ropes. Val shaken up at the bell, woozy from a brisk series of clipping right hands – Ripa makes with that peculiar cold/perky smile as she sees her girl hurting and confused.

R3: Girls exchange right hands to the face, left hooks on the jaw – Ripa simply going for it as Val lands, but wilts in the even give and take. Ripa stepping her girl back, doubles up on the jab, leaves the mitt extended on Val’s cleavage and carves over the top with that stubby right hand on the chin. BOOMING impact – Bertinelli twisting a quarter turn to her right corkscrews to her back and she is HURT! Val B gives it up on her back, legs flexed, rocking side to side – face pinched in groggy agony – KO3 Kelly Ripa.

After: Devastating performance shows Ripa no worse for wear – if gaining confidence were the plan: mission accomplished. Bertinelli landing some, but never able to come forward and get in synch – Ripa too compact, accurate and powerful to be upended tonight.

Thanks to Apollo for this repost.

Archer 10/19/09.