BOXING IN BRITAIN

Originally posted by Simguy on 4/29/2002, 8:06 am

Before: Thinking man’s bout pits two girls who can be classy given the right tempo and opponent. Paltrow still in the training and development stage, but Blanchett a durable British gatekeeper, overshadowed in recent years by the likes of CZJ and Liz Hurley, but earning the nickname ‘Cate the Carver’ from fans and foes alike. Gwyneth in pink and yellow floral bikini, blonde battle braid, Cate in black push up and panties, updo,

During R1: Both girls standing straight up, touching each other with tapping, simultaneous jabs on the jaw in tedious exploratory action early. Down the stretch, Paltrow suddenly doubles up the jab, shifts left and jams in a hard right hand ion the jaw that has Blanchett reaching high to clinch. Gwyneth just pumps away with playground lefts and rights PUM! PUM! PUM! Against Cate’s midsection, shunting the Brit’s hips back and putting a pinched look of pain on Cate’s face at the bell.

R2: Gwyneth emerges as the aggressor, spends a minute walking Cate down behind a very stiff jab, then gets back to the body where Paltrow’s corner thinks money can be made. Paltrow not a textbook body puncher—but she’s eager enough, thumping away with right hands, while palming Cate’s right bicep in a stabilizing left. Blanchett wilting into the ropes, lips forming a tight line as she buckles forward, trying to stifle shouts of hurt as Paltrow simply belts away. Wobbly butt Blanchett clinching shamelessly in the final minute—Paltrow accepting the waltz and eaiting for breaks—American blonde doesn’t really seem to know what to do to stay active.

R3: Paltrow really surprising ringsiders. She’s very erect and seems hittable, but she’s patting Cate down with a jamming stick in the face, doubling up occasionally and chopping in a serviceable right on the ear that has Blanchett hopping. Down the stretch, batting lefts and rights from Paltrow box Cate’s ears—Blanchett gyrating upperbody causes her to lose balance and she takes a seat in her corner near the bell.

R4: Cate out with tummy jab early, but she’s a discouraged, scuffed up fighter and Gwyneth soon restores command. Paltrow ramming the right hand over Cate’s left  shoulder to get the Brit stomping to her right—all Gwyneth as she walks her girl down behind spanking jabs, right crosses, then stumping right hands to the breadbasket that put a constipated look on Cates face as she sits on the ropes to take. Wildly one-sided fight through 4 has Blanchett achy, ashen faced.

R5: Gwyneth happy in her work. Stepping slowly to her left, she pecks and pokes her jab at an unresponsive Blanchett—Cate sullen, covering up or slipping the jab, but offering nothing back. Paltrow patiently working into range to land the hard right cross maneuvering Cate to the ropes, then stuffing her tummy full of leather to the bell,. Gwyneth can’t repress a smile as she bounces back to her corner—Blanchett slumping on her stool tells her people, “I’m through,” and it’s OVER ! Surprising TKO5—Paltrow forces Blanchett to quit on her stool.

After: Shocking result in some respects—a sorry performance from Blanchett coupled with a blatant punk-out has her own fans booing—Paltrow not exactly dazzling, but workmanlike and obviously physically too strong, simply bludgeons the fight out of the home town girl.

Reposted by Archer. 5/11/09