"JUGS OF MASS DESTRUCTION" (JMD) TITLE

Posted by simguy on 5/29/2009, 8:35 am

BEFORE: "Lilo's a tabloid train-wreck," Scarlett says in prefight, going right for Lindsay's jugular. "It's great to see, but it's sad too... when McCord stopped Lindsay we all just sort of said, 'yep - stick a fork in her - Lindsay's done'. The thing is, you need to be mentally super strong to fight JMD, because when you get stopped, your self-esteem gets challenged like nowhere else. When I take Lindsay into my breasts? It's going to break her. I honestly feel that the post-fight is going to destroy what's left of Lindsay as a competitive celebrity. Which is totally fine with me - I'm just saying." Lilo tight lipped throughout - scalded by the press in recent weeks, she's reluctant to comment, but BLONDE! Mag manages to cop a quote: "Yes, I'm under pressure," Lindsay admits. "I do wish I could have the McCord fight back, and I've been struggling ever since, but that ends against Scarlett. I'll take the tiara from her, and use it to get back to where I was. I'm still the best flyweight in boxing, and the best actress in Hollywood. Girls like Scarlett need to start acknowledging that."

Lilo in jaunty nautical two piece - navy top with bold brass ring connection between jugs, sporty white bottoms with baby blue diagonal stripes and little anchors; white gloves; long blonde hair tied off her brow in pretty crowd braid. Scarlett in black stretch cotton two piece - bra style top with white lace trim about the decolletage; white gloves; hair in tight french twist - shiny and blonde.

During R1: Scarlett stepping to Lilo southpaw (right side presented, left side back)... pawing the right jab; leaning in with a wide-swinging left to take Lindsay fat to breasts. Lilo brave upon receipt, but rocked: receipts are late as Scarlett slips 'round Lilo's left flank, looking smug. Lindsay turning, confused by Scarlett's counterclockwise stepping and unorthodox stance. Johansson treating herself to Lilo's rack - big, slamming left hands plowing home over and over again as Scarlett leans in, then pivots 'round. Final minute - Johansson well in command when she's slapped a hook high across her head. Startled, Scarlett squares up... just in time to take a slender limbed right upside the head. Toe-to-toe slap-fest results - girls clapping away brisk lefts and rights - Lilo clouting Scarlett onto her heels. Lindsay follows up as Johansson's backpedaling: long right hand crashes to Scarlett's chin - turning her head and LYING HER DOWN! Johansson blown to her back as Lilo prances past: all Lindsay's cares fall away as she smiles prettily, batting her mitts together like a feisty, Disney trained scrapper should. Johansson up - blinking, shaking her head: she's woozy. Lilo loping in, squaring away, letting her hands go: SWEET JESUS, THE PUNCHING! Scarlett awe-struck, sitting back into ropes as galloping rights and lefts assault her bra-top, bunching up precious rack meat. Lindsay baring her fangs, sweat flying from her brow as she plows hurt to Scarlett: pumping, slim-limbed rights and lefts hup-hup up into jumping jugs, THE REF STEPS IN! Scarlett's head lolls back - soon as official sees that bared throat, he's got no choice. TKO1 Lindsay Lohan!

After: Lohan breaking down into joyous tears: hard few months for the kid turn into diamonds as she pounds her way to a tiara. Johansson sniveling, kneading punished jugs with the heels of her hands: she's beaten and stopped in a fight she was clearly dominating. After a moment, Lilo struts to Scarlett's corner, standing in front of Johansson with hands on hips, commanding: "Up!" Scarlett blinking back tears stands, trembling in anticipation.

With a yelp, Lindsay jumps up onto Scarlett: long legs wrapping round decadent hips; slender arms snaking round Scarlett's head, folding her face to breasts. Stunned, Johansson's hands reflexively reach for Lohan's buttocks, supporting her: Scarlett stumbling under the weight, not wanting to go to canvas where Lilo can really cinch up. What Johansson wants is immaterial: she sways on the spot for a few seconds, then stumbles forward, putting Lilo on her back.

Lindsay's limbs constrict: the ankles re-grip with an audible slap - thighs hard against Scarlett's ribs; Lindsay's right hand grips her left shoulder/left hand grips right as Scarlett is held fast. Lilo looking up into the lights, smiling with glee: she's putting it to hated Scarlett and loving it.

Poor Johansson. Trapped and held, her knees dig and push at canvas - hands alternately pushing down on Lohan's pale, tight thighs, or sliding up to pull at Lindsay's bony shoulders, or simply palming on canvas as Johansson tries to push-up out of the hold. No good: Scarlett's fretting grows weaker, sloppier as jug takes hold: Lohan just lying still cinching and working her limbs.

Scarlett stops moving. Announcers start to express concern that Lohan's putting too much jug to Johansson when Linds relaxes. With Johansson lying deadweight atop her, Linds holds groggy blonde head in crook of left arm while whispering into Johansson's conquered left ear: "How's the self esteem doing, Scary? Feeling good about yourself? Yah... didn't think so." Ouch