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3 June 2007 Katie Holmes vs Nicole Scherzinger

Page history last edited by Archer844 15 years ago

Boxing After Dark

 

Posted by simguy on 6/3/2007, 9:31 am

 

Before: Wildly contrasting styles: Holmes traditional, standup boxer - always moving her back foot first to secure a good plant, then sliding the front foot; always working behind her jab, shooting straight punches; always tucking her chin, keeping her dukes up. Nicole a pounce-stepping maniac, negligent hand position, very supple upperbody movement setting up wild circus punches from any and all angles. Wildly contrasting looks and vibes: Katie freshly scrubbed, girl-next-door athletic; Nicole all sweaty clubs and go-go dancer chic - both girls relatively dismissive of the other's charms. Nicole ups the ante during her ring walk - flanked by the Pussy Cat Dolls as she raps "Nee-cole is smokin' hot...Ka-tie is SO-OH not..." In the ring, PCD puts on a full group number, singing a revised version of "Buttons":

I'm gonna loosen Katie's buttons babe, (uh-huh)
But she keeps frontin'
Sayin' what she goin' do to me (uh-huh)
But she ain't nothin'...

And so on. Holmes non-plussed, arms crossed, foot tapping - patiently waiting to enter the ring when the mirror-ball extravagance of it all dies down.

Katie in lemon yellow bikini, deep dark tan, white gloves. Nicole in sea-green/dark green, two-toned snake print bikini, black gloves. Scherzinger bursts out laughing, "NICE SUIT!" at Katie's elegant, simple swimsuit during ring instructions.

 

During R1: Nicole disrupting Katie, leaping at her, spooking her, scattering her around the ring. Scherzinger rarely connecting flush - but the wild, lunging excess of it all has Holmes stumbling awkwardly on the defensive, trying to assume orderly boxing stance. Scherziner liable to lead hooks or uppercuts from either hand, from any distance - crouching low in serpentine fashion, then uncoiling herself. Nikki often wide with punches, wrapping Katie around the head or shoulders, pulling her off balance - Scherzinger able to clean up with the off hand, clouting Katie's mouth when she's disorganized. Reeling, wide ranging stuff - Scherzinger threatening, Holmes backpedalling, trying to sort out the chaos.

 

R2: Similar stuff - Katie standing her ground more, but still uncertain, letting Nikki get off first. Scherzinger unleashing - wide stance suppleness suddenly catapulting forward - dragging either hand onto Katie's head and shoulders, buffetting Holmes around. Katie trying to punch-with, but getting the timing wrong: Nikki ringing Holmes up off Katie's misses. Late the round, SOLID chinchecking right roundhouse swivel's Katie's head: crowd roars as Holmes spills sideways, legs giving way, then regroups, folding forward behind her mitts as grinning Nikki jumps-to. Low-slung left pumps Katie's trunks-front, doubles to slap into Katie's inner left thigh, triples to wrap behind Katie's head, pulling her forward onto a lusty right uppercut at bell. Boos - Katie outraged, pushing against the ref as ginnin' Nikki turns, struts away all proud of herself through 2."

 

R3: Katie adjusts - now she's being first, making sure she gets on Nicole before Scherzinger can set. Holmes rangy, lithe - pinging out elastic jabs and straight rights, her hands collected loose under her chin as she steps methodically forward. Nicole slipping and weaving this stuff - but she's not answering back, nor holding her canvas - Katie stepping Nikki methodically to ropes in first minute.

 

Second minute: Katie pushing off back (right) big toe, really jamming away straight criss-cross combinations up top - white gloves skidding off dusky shoulders and upperback, bouncing off Nikki's skull as Scherzinger rotates her torso. Holmes intent, pouring it on with elastic delivery - one/twos setting up hooks in Nikki's flank Scherzinger isn't fond off. Nicole grimacing, tilting forward, giving up her back: look at Katie scour! Holmes with right under her chin, leans on front foot to crank hooks, bumping Nikki loud in and above that right hip. Scherzinger confused, getting worked over - sheer pulsing volume of Katie sees her fit the odd right hand or jamming left onto Scherzinger's face despite Nikki's sleek movement.

Final minute - Nicole leaning back in ropes, waving punches - she's really falling apart under Katie's disciplined, intense, withering fire. Holmes rangy hooks in Scherzinger's side and tummy not doing Nicole any good: Nikki's lips curl back off her teeth, eyes brimming as Katie begins to romp. Right hands off Katie's shoulder punch across Nikki's face with increasing accuracy, knocking the sultry head back over top rope, loosening the Scherzinger guard. It's all too much - Nikki drowsy, tilting forward, then reeling backward under non-stop lather: Katie just locked in, moving her hands - being busy rather than devastating and SCHERZINGER GOES DOWN! Nicole wilting to her left across ropes, then crashing to her shoulder, rolls to her back - hands above her head, face anguished, chest heaving. She's clearly awake, but dazed - like she's been left overnight in a sauna - she's all used up! Nikki so out of it, she actually lifts her right foot and drapes it on the bottom rope during the count. Katie laughing at her foe's woozy plight, pointing down and shouting "She thinks she's in a wrestling match! She's trying to break a pin!" Needless to say: wrong sport. Blubbering, confused Scherzinger counted out on her back: KO3 in hardworking fashion - Katie Holmes.

 

After: What a great win for Katie. Nicole not highly ranked, but a tricky, unorthodox and heavy handed style - many thought Holmes would be troubled by her foe's kinky approach. "I was confused early," Katie admits in postfight, "but my corner steadied me. They just reminded me to be first - don't let her set the agenda: once I started backing her up and taking it to her - she just caved. Honestly, I don't think I landed one clean punch in that whole third round, but just the sheer volume was breaking her down. Nicole Scherzinger quit on her back - she totally could have gotten up. If that's really the Miami scene, I'm not impressed." Tragically, Spanish language newspapers translate the quote as ("I'm not impressed with Miami-based fighters" - Katie Holmes) causing an angry torrent of phone calls from Eva Mendes to flood BSE switchboards.

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