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31 October 2009 Kate Beckinsale vs Jaime Pressly

Page history last edited by Archer844 14 years, 2 months ago

Posted by simguy on 10/31/2009, 9:56 am

BEFORE: Is the "World's Sexiest" label going to Kate's head? You be the judge: "World's Sexiest implies World's Best Fighter," Kate says in prefight, "the two go hand in hand. Beating Pressly doesn't just mean I'm fitter with my fists: it means I'm a superior being, head to toe - and sexiness just goes along with the package. Jaime will be the first of many to knuckle under, and after a triumphant march back to the title, I'll reclaim my rightful place atop the throne. The Kate Beckinsale era is dawning, and I'll beat Jaime's allegiance out of her rebellious little body!" Pressly bemused more than angered: she's always done well against Kate in the past. "I've seen ego before - hell: I work out in the Krusher gym; everyone of us thinks we're IT...but Kate takes the cake. She always does this to herself: inflates her own self-image so much that she's doomed to fail. If she'd just fight to her standard, she'd do okay, but hey: I'm getting paid to knock her the hell out, not psychoanalyze her. As for her Esquire lay-out: I thought it was cute. Sexy? Please." Kate in bright purple lace bra and panties from Esquire shoot; wild brunette tangles; small black gloves. Jaime in hot pink bikini; small black gloves; hair in short blonde bob.

During R1: Kate conventional: hands up/elbows in; footwork heel-and-toe crisp as she circles clockwise. Jaime just as slick, but different: looser in the waist as she bends and bobs; footwork alternately creeping, prowling, pouncing; right hand near chin/left across her gut. Kate fighting upright, using legs for defence; Jaime more apt to change levels - willing to stand in pocket and move torso rather than always using legs for D. Who's more effective? Jaime. No clean connects, but sneaky right hand change-ups score to Kate's body; cuffing hooks graze her hairline - that sort of thing. Becks almost completely shutout by Jaime supple torso moves and better aggression.

R2: Kate responds: a doubled up jab and more aggressive forward-stepping keeps Jaime on the defensive. Pressly just as hard to hit clean as Kate had been: Beckinsale's points come from what Jaime's not doing as opposed to any big success Kate's having.

R3: Jaime pouncing early - leading a sudden right hand into Kate's guard, backing her up, keeping her hands high. Jaime steps close, bats short lefts and rights against Kate's ears: Pressly keeping elbows in close to her body on delivery, just cuffing at Kate here. Shoe-shine up top sets up a VICIOUS Pressly left to Kate's liver: World's Sexiest body dented by evil blonde hook, winning a cry of pain from Beckinsale's lips. Kate cringing forward while backing up: Jaime eyes-bright as she senses collapse. Pressly hopping forward into another lead right up top (blocked): again she fluffs at Kate's ears, batting away as Beckinsale rolls/blocks, then drops down to DIG in behind the Beckinsale right elbow. Gorgeous gouging blast...Jaime biting her lower lip as she digs it home...Kate's torso lolls forward as she sobs aloud: she's crippled to the body! Jaime grinning - touching the right hand upside Kate's head to move it aside, then tucking in above left hip with the right hand CHUP! Jaime knuckles at Kate's scalp as Beckinsale's bending forward - then blonde pops hips-right to lick the left hook in behind right elbow again. Kate bleating in pain - butt in ropes: she can't keep Jaime off! Pressly just working the body - getting in behind those elbows - tearing at the World's Sexiest flesh until KATE GOES DOWN! Beckinsale swooning forward to knees-and-elbows - forehead on canvas as she cries in agony. IT'S OVER! Thrilling body-beatdown KO3, Jaime Pressly!

After: Pressly resplendent - strutting the ring all grins, hands high: poor Kate blubbering, sitting on her haunches and hugging her throbbing ribcage. "If you ask me," JP quips in postfight, "she's sexier NOW than she was before! Maybe BLONDE! Magazine can award her the Worlds Sexiest Quitter trophy, or something!" Ouch.