Posted by simguy on 5/8/2004

Before: It's the epitome of class vs trash - the sly, European savoir faire of Zeta Jones pitted against the brassy, cunning, not-as-dumb-as-I-look McCarthy. Boxing insiders know that Jenny's not as ditzy or unfocused as she appears - Jones not as sophisticated and ethereal as she pretends - interesting clash that neither woman can resist. Jenny brilliant in post fight - baiting and taunting Jones, refusing to acknowledge the regal pedigree, treating CZJ like the cheapest of cheap sluts. Absolutely infuriating for Catherine, Jones nearly losing her composure and starting a tawdry press conference brawl - just barely containing herself as Jenny chortles at the sight. Red bikini CJZ, black bikini Jenny Mac.

During R1: Jones with left across her gut, right at her cheek - she's edging shoulder-first into Jenny, but Mac's getting off rich and zesty early. Mac unleashing - swinging hooks up high, doubled up, lusty right hands over Jones' left shoulder - Catherine shook up in the first minute, but keeps her balance. Jones able to get it together, rolling Jenny's right hands with the lead shoulder, getting close with a stuffing right to gut, then Jones is in mouth on shoulder and dominating. Jenny giving ground, worked to the ropes as Jones puts 'em together tidy, uses her shoulder and extended left elbow to nudge and press. Judges see it Jenny's way - Jones getting tactically established on the inside.

R2: Jenny still looking to overwhelm Jones, but veteran brunette's seen the fastball, dealing with it better this round. Catherine blocking hooks with her right hand, rolling rights, dipping and coming up and in on Jenny - blonde soaks up some good body leather as Jones muscles back inside. Mac a little too wide, wrapping around Jones as Catherine moves inside the arc - meanwhile, Jones tight n tasty to midsection, swatting and cuffing away down there with compact licks. Jones very economical, no energy wasted - she works Jenny to ropes, rolls and blocks, scores to the body and jugs of her opponent with nipping swat out of the relaxed crossed-arm.

R3: What th'? Jenny Mac turns boxer - spoiling the pressure Jones had in store for her. Mac using her legs, showing a sparkling jab - blonde smiles as she taps Jones unforgivably on the face, earning a dark glare from haughty brunette. Jones turning stalker - cutting off the ring - she lands some thumping right hands straight into Jenny's body, but can't rope her blonde - Mac doing a nice job circling, keeping her back free and controlling matters midring.

R4: Jones turns tap dancer as girls trade adjustments. Catherine with scooting feet, spitting jab, turns the tables - now SHE'S circling, touching Jenny up and down the stick. McCarthy unhinged, throwing ill advised bombs - Jones able to see, time and counter - finding Jenny's chin with crisp, short right hands off the shoulder. Jenny taking a good shot, but concerned - Jones' turn to smirk as she gets the better of the fourth.

R5: Jenny out with murderous swings, gambling risk-taking - she'll sweep a right, then flick the right backhand to keep Jones from countering her. McCarthy stepping forward with heat - she's missing a fair amount but landing with spank when she gets there - Jones shying away from the intensity. Midway through - Jones sliding along the ropes, Jenny stepping-with and really going at that gut. Thick, juicy licks on the paunch - Mac turning her shoulders, tearing up midsection and JONES LEGS GIVE WAY! Catherine sitting stunned in the ropes, gut shot - Jenny immediately turns her attention to Catherine's inviting rack, getting in close and rubbing those puppies with short chugging lefts and rights. JONES TAKES A KNEE! Mac all smiles as she's pushed back - Catherine steaming, but wobbly butt - she takes a flustered 8 as Jenny hoots taunts from the neutral corner.

R6: Catherine hard-eyed, left shoulder pointed at Jenny, backhand jab off the belly snapping at McCarthy, then coiled back - Jones doing a sinuous job of leaning in to touch, sliding back just out of range to get Mac reaching. Jenny a little too brave - missing on right hands - she's throwing herself forward, getting tagged as Jones turns on blunt right hand counters off the slip. big Zeta Jones round as she tags Jenny again and again, then manages her with a biting jab, but down the stretch - McCarthy leaps in a wild hook, missing, but forcing Jones to reel backwards out of her stance. Jenny the master improviser - swarms in - buffeting Jones ropeside and manages to land a clubbing right on the jaw out of the melee. Jones slumps sideways to the ropes, staring - Jenny able to reload, drive another right hand in hard over the left shoulder and drop her foe to all fours! Jenny strutting, insufferable on parade - Jones struggles up the ropes to take a more serious 8 at the bell.

R7: Jenny bounding over to do damage - mistake! Jones jabbing to break up the rush, sliding to the side to turn Jenny, walking her into right hands - blonde cooperating by reaching on punches, trying to get Jones in trouble with one big swing. Jenny put wobbly butt in the first minute by keen Jones right hands - Catherine very neat with the punch, no warning, short and sharp on the chin - Jenny's coming undone. Second minute - Jones pressing the action - getting her shoulder in Jenny's chest, muscling her back to the ropes - blonde going sullen as brunette starts to collect tough touches in close. Jones tearing up belly and jug with the hook, resetting Jen with the extended left elbow, then tidying her up with brisk right uppercut-curls on the chin. Methodical, beautiful stuff - Jone pressing Jenny, punching her, never letting her breath - blonde visibly wilting as every brunette blow seems to find something tender. Right uppercuts wear out that McCarthy chin - Jenny starts to swoon - Jones pours it on. Low blow left! Low blow left! Jones in nice and tight, fits 'em in with love, then eases groaning Jenny back with the left shoulder. POUNDING finale - Jenny hurt down below, unable to answer back, slumping into the ropes - she's beaten into a steaming pile of blonde at Zeta Jones' feet. Catherine smoldering as she steps back, appraising the devastation - McCarthy out on her face, won't be getting up. KO7 in savage fashion, Catherine Zeta Jones.

After: Jones belting out a tune on her blonde, answering the O'Dell debacle in style - but this was an intriguing contest while it lasted. McCarthy matching wits as well as fists with Jones and more than holding her own - girls traded places as leader/counterer, inside/outside worker, boxer/puncher. Jones lumped up nicely and livid at the facial McCarthy gave her - brunette indulges with a bullying walk of shame rough around the ring. Jones riding her right arm around Jenny's waist and tugging her - frequently forcing the blonde to lift her arms and keep 'em up like a surrendering hostage - meanspirited stuff by one of the meanest.