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30 September 2011 Sarah Michelle Gellar vs Ellen Page

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 3 months ago

Sarah Michelle Gellar 10.jpg Ellen Page.jpg

Posted by simguy on 9/30/2011, 11:17 am

BEFORE: "I'm definitely ready to take the next step in my career," Ellen chirps in prefight, "and that step is usually a shopworn former champ with a bit of a name...cue Sarah! From what I've seen on tape, Gellar's legs just won't absorb a punch anymore: brush her on the chin and she goes down, which is good news for me, because I'm aggressive and hit pretty hard for my size!" Sarah non-plussed - owner of boxing's most dismal record over the last couple of years, Sarah's got a new show, a new training routine and looks like a blonde reborn. "It's been tough," Gellar admits at podium, "I've lost a lot of fights I should have won, and I was getting down on myself, but all that's going to change. It just takes one win to get on the next hot streak, and Ellen's a perfect candidate for me. I know I can beat her; I will beat her, and I'm not through with the top 10 rankings at 110 either!" Gellar in white satin bikini; small white gloves; hair back in slick blonde battle bun. Ellen in pea green sport top; navy sport bikini bottoms; small red mitts; short brown pixie cut.

During R1: High activity, low intensity as Sarah sets a brisk, sparring-level tempo early. Gellar moving her head, changing her levels while basically standing right in front of Ellen - blonde girl tapping away straight, palm-down lefts and rights, just pinging away face and breasts on Page. Ellen sputtering when spanked in the face, but unhurt...it's just that Sarah's pinpoint raindrop tattooing is pre-empting and disrupting brunette receipts. Ellen feeding Sarah the odd straight right in the mouth, or the odd straight left jab, but blonde landing at about a 2 for 1 pace, making Ellen miss, then dosing her. Frothy non-stop action has Ellen startled and grumpy, but essentially unhurt as Sarah lays out the game-plan early.

R2: More of the same - Sarah initiating, sacrificing power for speed...Gellar getting back to her roots as a boxer and away from her rep as a cardiac-kid thrill-seeker. Again, Page directly in front, trying to line Sarah up for straight punches...Ellen scoring, but receiving way more in return. Sarah's eyes brighter, more intense than Ellen's: blonde girl sharp, crisp, precise - reaching out and tapping away palm-down, poking punches, face and tits.

R3: Same again - Sarah in charge, Ellen being plucky, trying to compete. Gellar's delivery always palm-down and straight - when she goes to the body, she bends her knees and punches straight into Ellen's midsection, then straightens up to resume work upstairs. Page missing a lot - either because she's pre-empted or Gellar's slick head movement proves hard to track. More tip-tap, pinging points for Sarah as she's all business back to her corner.

R4: Same routine - Gellar keeping up the brisk pace, but just punching-to the target, not THROUGH the target. Easy for Gellar to score on Page's face - blonde girl punching brunette on the mouth, on both cheeks, in between the eyes...Sarah's hands nice and relaxed, just reaching out and pulling back to her chest to reset. Ellen's head starting to move and recoil from contact more...no one punch is hurting her, but she's eating almost 50 head shots a round, and that's not counting Sarah tit-and-tummy work.

R5: Sarah still getting it done quick and cute - tapping away in pinging patterns, dazing Page through sheer repetition. Ellen visibly frustrated - pawing with either hand to locate Gellar, then trying to hit her hard the free mitt...problem is it's taking too long for Ellen to get off. Final minute, Sarah's got Ellen staring, woozy...blonde drops left to her side and focusses on pushing a series of stubby right hands into available targets. Pair of rights smudge Ellen's tits; a right pokes at her chin...Page's knees give way and she extends both hands in a don't-hurt-me pushing gesture. Sarah hears the bell, but ca't help herself: she lifts the right hand up, drops it down over Ellen's outstretched arms and chops her cutey-pie pull-counter on the chin, causing Page to pony-trot on the spot in distress.

R6: To this point, Page has been stubborn and aggressive if ineffective...now she's giving ground, gunshy at last from Sarah's pinpoint tappings. Gellar calmly walking her girl down, hands dangling at her sides like she's on a stroll in the park. Gellar lifting either hand off her thigh and poking into Page's tits, or chipping at her chin; blonde will double up either hand while the opposite hand dangles negligently. In the event of a rare Page counter, Sarah usually evades the punch with head movement alone, then scores in combination to make Ellen pay for the attempt. Bell: Sarah nodding in satisfaction at Ellen's puffy lower lip and dimmed eyes...brunette discouraged more than hurt, really dragging her ass back to corner.

R7: Sarah's pinging little pokes on the face punching Ellen's head back with authority now: more a sign of Ellen's fatigue than Sarah's force. Gellar stepping up her body attack - bending knees and stamping in straight, palm-down lefts and rights to Ellen's tummy, bunching brunette hurt, then going to town with swabbing hooks across exposed lower back. Ref hollering warnings for Sarah to stay off Ellen's kidneys: Gellar just moving her hands, scoring on what's available, and if it's kidney, so be it. Page in retreat, wobbling out of orbit, eyes willing up...Sarah pokes a stiff right into Ellen's mouth, then doubles it, buckling Page's knees. Ellen eases herself all woozy and head-punched to canvas: Sarah gives her a chilling glance of appraisal as veteran judges what ingenue has left. Page beats the count plucky, but her eyes're glassy: Sarah moves in quick - stoops to stamp away palm-down lefts and rights to gut - then straightens to hook-hook-hook in behind Ellen's right elbow as brunette's tilting forward hurrrt. Page groaning, reaching for the canvas and lowering herself to hands-and-haunches...she's crying, looking shabby, basically quitting rather than continue on with the Chinese water torture. KO7 Sarah Michelle Gellar in pinpoint fashion.

After: Even considering the opponent, it's Sarah's most complete performance in a long time...she kept Ellen off the score sheet; steadily reduced a younger women with an impressively high connect percentage and got the stoppage-by-accumulation. "We've gone back to the drawing board," Sarah breezes in postfight. "For a while there, I was getting caught up in slugfests with Precious Portman, Jenny Love and others, and it was taking a toll on me. But my skills are undiminished and when I fight within my comfort zone, I still make girls look foolish. I know Natalie thinks I'm a spent force, but take a good long look at Emily Page and ask yourself: how many hundreds of head shots did she take tonight? It's something for girls to consider."