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30 September 2011 Post PPV Winners and Losers

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 3 months ago

DEBRIEF WITH THE WINNERS

Posted by CELEBRITY RING ONLINE on 9/30/2011, 6:45 pm

(Large locker room scene - chairs and benches arranged in a semi circle - video conference streamed live to the CR site. CATHERINE ZETA JONES moderates; winners of all PPV fights take their seats - some just showered and wearing robes over bikinis; some dressed in sweats, hair still damp).

MINKA: "I guess I'll start. I LOVED that I knocked Katie out. She'd beaten me previously, and she was talking alot of smack, saying she was going to 'Hudgens' me - you know - be the 'Conqueror of Minka' by doubling up on me. I wasn't having that from her. Girl needs to be knocked out when she gets like that."

CZJ: (eyes bright, immediately turning to Mish with a grin) "Michelle?"

MISH: "I stopped the bleeding tonight. Song's actually a better fighter than Vanessa, so handling her really draws a line in the sand and shows that I'm not giving up any more easy touches. The Disney brats are out of control..."

ASHLEY TISDALE: "Hey!"

MISH: "You are. Shut up. You guys are embarrassing boxing with your crap."

ASHLEY: "Old fighters have been saying that about young fighters for generations - get a grip. I beat down 'Nessa tonight and it was a hard, hard fight. She's tougher than Claire, and obviously better than you, so..."

MISH: "Oh for..."

CZJ: "Ladies: poise, please. Ashley - well done. Michelle as well."

BRIDGY REGAN: "I just want to congratulate Scarlett Johannson on taking down Hayden!" applause and whoops all around the room. Scarlett blushing, grinning. Erica Durance leaning over from Scarlett's right to give her a hug.

SCARLETT: "And what about you? Amanda Righetti helpless on her knees? That's so awesome!"

Regan: "Thanks! I was thinking about your fight after - how Hayden's like the flyweight Righetti, and we just stood up to them. They're just girls after all: punch 'em on the chin and they get drowsy - same as anyone else."

SCARLETT: "That's just it - I mean: everybody told me I couldn't win - Hayden's too strong; Hayden's too hot right now - yada yada yada. You fight the fight. You get into condition and fight, and see what happens - don't let H8rs talk you out of winning."

LANDRY: "Honestly...if I may: I didn't see anything special about Regan's performance." (buzzing mumbles about the room) "Seriously. She was subpar I thought, and Regan caught her on an off night. It wasn't that big a performance."

REGAN: "Whatever - jealous much?"

LANDRY: "Of what - your three fights? Can it."

REGAN: "You baggy old..."

CZJ: "Ladies...back on topic shall we? Beating the girls in the other locker room...Taylor?"

TAYLOR COLE: (smiling like a bird-stuffed cat) "How about me slapping the crap out of that hag Pallicki?" (Whoops and hollers all around; fighters clapping) "I mean, I'm just going to admit it: I really wanted to hurt her. I hate that she gets everything she wants you know? It really felt good to be in position to say 'no - not this time' to her. While punching her in the face of course!" (laughter).

PERABO: "I kind of felt a bit like that...Alba's so entitled - I don't know any girl who wouldn't want to beat her up."

BIEL: "I totally get that: Nichols is a little witch and I'm glad I battered her. I don't care who hears me say that, it's totally true!" (nods and approving murmurs).

DURANCE: "See..I don't get that. Daniela came at me hard to take me down and use my name, and it was hella battle all night. But I just wanted to beat her, and it felt great when I started wearing her down, but I'd have felt awful if she'd been hurt. I think you guys get too caught up in..."

SMG (glaring at Portman) "I agree with Jessica: when a girl's out to take from you - you do whatever you have to do. Listen...I have something to say about Natalie's performance tonight. I thought it was barbaric the way she picked at Rachel - and those little neoprene gloves? Those should be outlawed, and I think Natalie should be..."

PORTMAN: "Do you want me to kick your ass right here? Is that what you want?"

SMG: "Maybe it is."

PORTMAN: "'Cause I'm good for that."

SMG: "Whatever - so am I."

PORTMAN: "One win in fours years: awful brave, Sarah. Sure you're all the way back?"

SMG: "Shut up. I'm warning you 'precious'..."

CZJ: "Let's all give a hand for Sarah Michelle, snapping a withering slump tonight!" (clapping and whistles...except for Portman)

PORTMAN: "Yeah, Sarah good job torturing a defenceless rookie. You want to talk about cruelty - how many straight minutes did you jab at Ellen's face without getting touched in return? Was that fun for you? Hey?" (Sarah standing, eyes flat; CZJ interjecting.)

CZJ: "And there you have it from the winners' circle: champagne and rainbows all 'round!"

BILLIE P: "But I didn't get to talk about destroying Jewel!"

CZJ: "Shut up."

LOSER BRACKET: DEBRIEFING THE LOSERS

Posted by CELEBRITY RING ONLINE on 10/1/2011, 11:17 am

(Large locker room with chairs and benches arranged in semi circle. Beaten fighters take their seats - everybody downcast, looking ass-kicked, but freshly showered, hanging out in robes or sweats.

Feed carried live to the CR website: Charlize Theron moderating)

CT: (Theron waiting...waiting...Candice Accola's snivelling a little bit - Rachel Nichols rubs her back in consolation. Somebody else coughs) "It's so QUIET in here. Anybody gonna say anything? Hayden? How are you feeling right now?"

HAYDEN: "How do you think? God...is this fun for you?"

CT: "Don't be like that. Talk to me. You had a real fall from grace tonight: tell me about it."

HAYDEN: "Scarlett outboxed me. She hit harder than I expected and...and I was kind of reacting to her all night. I didn't fight the way I usually do."

CT: "So...you lost because you weren't in your groove, or did she actually beat you?"

HAYDNE: glaring.

CT: "Just doing my job, Hayd. Nothing personal."

'NESSA: "I'll tell you what: Scarlett beat the crap out of Hayden hands down. Panny at her best couldn't have..."

HAYDEN: "Vanessa, swear to God I will..."

CT: "Ladies - chill. First girl to move has me to deal with. Talk it out."

(loud cheering from the adjacent room carries through the cinderblock wall. Every girl just looks deflated at the sound).

RIGHETTI: "That hurts."

CT: "Amanda?"

RIGHETTI: "It's like they're laughing at us. I'm not used to that. They're just so...thrilled to have beaten us, you know?"

PALLICKI: "I Know - it's like they're so HAPPY. And that witch Cole - I know she's just loving this. God!"

'NESSA: "Well, I'm not with you losers: Ashley got lucky." (moans and "come ons" from the ladies; a white towel is thrown at Vanessa's head.) "It's true! We were fighting - and I was hurting her with everything - she's ready to go - and suddenly she lands a hail mary. Ashley couldn't beat me again in a million years and now she's MILKING this."

HAYDEN; "And you'd definitely know something about that!"

'NESSA: "Shut up!"

HAYDEN: "Make me. Please, God: make me!"

KEELEY: "I would just like to say, that those girls in that other room? They're awful. They're animals. What was done to me tonight..." (Keeley's eyes welling up - she can't talk, the memory of Gems' jugz just too fresh)

EMMA WATSON: "What about Rachel?" (Bilson the only girl absent...murmured agreement throughout the room.) "That was awful."

HAYDEN; "That's the Wolfpack."

ELLEN PAGE: (eyes wide) "But they just...they just worked her over. And the fight was OVER, and they just..."

KATIE CASSIDY: (staring bleakly) "I can't believe Minka caught me. Minka!"

MOON: "That was a hard knockout."

KATIE: "Shut up - what about you? Rihanna beat you senesless!"

MOON: "Relax girl! I'm just saying, I sympathize. Minka caught you really hard, and that sucks."

KATIE: "Yeah. Sorry."

ACOOLA: "What about me? (sniff) Emily Van Camp comes out of nowhere and beats me? Now she's talking about Shay and Troian...those are MY fights!"

JEWEL: "You lose; they take. Don't lose, Candice."

ACCOLA: "But..."

RUAH: "Well, I'm not down, and I think you guys have to pick up your chins." (moans and grumbling). "Whatever. I lost - to Erica freaking Durance - and I battled her life-and-death. To me, that's a step forward. Don't let gloaters and haters get to you guys. Just stay strong, keep competing hard, and good things happen."

ALBA: "What're you - 2 fights in? Shut up."

RUAH: "Oh, you did not just get big on me, Jess. That..."

CT: "Simmer. Man, I mean it. Alba's got a point Ruah: it's easy to be up when you haven't taken sustained losses. Maybe you should listen more, and talk less."

RUAH: (mouth open, visibly shocked, speechless).

CT: "Kelly: that had to hurt, hey? Getting taken down intrastable? Tell us about it."

BROOK: (giving CT a bruised look of dull hate.) "I don't have to take this. Not from you." muttered agreement throughout the room.

CT: "You're losers: you do have to take this." (another cheer is heard through the wall; ashen faces all around in this room)

KEELEY: "Well, I thought Brook was rubbish." Jen Ellison nodding vigorously in agreement.

BROOK: "You little...you laid on your back and let Gemma's jugs tuck you in! YOU'RE rubbish! And slutty-rubbish at that."

KEELEY: "Not half the slut your are!"

BROOK: standing, eyes blazing

CT: "Sit down Kelly. Not a suggestion."

HAYDEN: "Quit bullying us Char. We already feel like crap: you're making everything worse."

CT: "That's your guys's problem: blaming everybody else. Guess what: each and every one of you got outcompeted by another woman tonight. You're not supposed to feel 'up' about that - I'm looking at you Daniela. You're SUPPOSED to feel like crap, and nothing I say or do should make you feel worse. There's NOTHING worse than coming second to another woman in front of milions of viewers."

UPTON: (speaking as though slowly realizing something.) "That's wrong." (confused muttering all around) "I mean - that's right for you guys, you are losers and you should feel like crap, but me - I'm still incredibly, unbelievably hot!" (moans; a white towel is thrown at Kate's head. "No listen: Bar beat me, but I'm obviously hotter than she is. Sooner or later, I'll start beating her, and that'll be it for her. If you're hot enough, losing doesn't matter!"

WATSON: (to Rachel Nichols) "Does she really believe that?

NICHOLS: "I think she really does."

WATSON: "Stewpid git."

PREJEAN: "Katie's got a point guys. Girls like Kate and me? Our hotness protects us from..."

UPTON: "Excuse me? You and me: same level of hot? Uhhh no. Seriously: check a mirror before you talk. Hag."

'NESSA: "I say it doesn't count as losing if the girl got lucky, and the ref stopped the fight way too fast."

HAYDEN: "Shut up. Vanessa: shut up - I can't take any more of you. Just..."

SONG: "Listen to Panny, Ness: shut up. And Hayden, you shut up too - stop telling everyone what to do!"

(Bickering breaks out...factions forming...voices rising...critical mass getting approached...Charlize backing slowly out of the danger zone as camera pans with her - she whispers: "I'm Charlize Theron, reporting from the loser's locker room at PPV...looks like the ladies aren't taking having their fannies tanned all that well!"