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30 October 2011 Post Fight Trick or Beat

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 2 months ago

Posted by Boxing World Online on 10/30/2011, 12:53 am

The Man In The Hat sits at the center of the dais. To his right, Nicole Scherzinger, Jamie Lynn Spears, Britney Spears, Pink, and Jewel. To his left, Katy Perry, Avril Lavigne, Anna Torv, Ke$ha, and Neve Campbell.

Man In The Hat: "Before I take questions, all you miscreants were trying to read tea leaves after the last card here, trying to figure out who was in and who was out of favor by who was sittin' closest to me like it was a Soviet May Day parade. Well, look closely tonight. Because, unlike last time, I deliberately chose who sat next to me."

He pauses for a second and then continues, "Nicole Scherzinger went as far as a fighter can go on her own, all the way to number one contender. She didn't get a title shot, and she should have. That's on ME. But she fought her way all the way to the top of the mountain. Tonight, she got caught by a good, veteran fighter. It happens. But she competed. She fought hard. She wouldn't quit. She didn't get bullied. You know what? Sometimes the other guy makes a play. Berry made some tonight. She was better tonight. But it don't change anything. Because she's NOT better than Nicole Scherzinger. She was just better TONIGHT. So, it don't change the fact that Nicole was good enough to get to number one, or that she's good enough to get there again. And it don't change her role at Front Street or the fact that she ain't just IN our plans, she's right smack in the MIDDLE of 'em."

He pauses again and takes a drink of what one might assume is water...if one wants to be wrong. Then he continues, "As for Ms. Perry, she is smoking hot. The fans love her. I can make as many fights for her as I want. She's got a future at Front Street. That being said, Katy has to decide what kind of fighter she wants to be. If she wants to be the crowd-pleasing brawler who goes out there swingin' like it's a bar room back alley, well, she can be that and still have a job here fightin' preliminaries. Heck, she has the equipment. We haven't dabbled in JMD around here, but, maybe that's the direction she wants to go."

He stops, takes a sip, shoots a glance at Katy, and continues. "OR. Maybe she wants to get the most out of her opportunity, her training, and her considerable talents. MAYBE she wants to be a top-shelf fighter. She CAN be, if that's what she wants. So, MAYBE she'll start goin' out there and boxin' instead of swingin' for the fences. MAYBE she'll pay attention to the fight plans we put together and listen to the trainers. MAYBE. We'll see. Now, I'll take questions. Cable Boy, go!"

HBO Reporter: "Why did you throw in the towel in Nicole's fight?"

Man In The Hat: "Because I have no small amount of affection for this kid, and there was no point in allowing her to take any further abuse out there. She gave it all she had. She didn't have any more to give, and I wasn't gonna sit there and watch her take more punishment. Cable Boy II, whatta you got?"

Showtime Reporter: "Ke$ha looked pretty good tonight. Has she moved ahead of Katy in your pecking order?"

Man In The Hat: "Six Feet Of Sexy looked VERY good. She's continuing to develop nicely. I think she has a bright future at Front Street. Well if it ain't Tuff Girl Australia! G'Day, Mate!"

Tuff Girl Australia Reporter: "I'm wondering what you thought of Kylie Minogue's performance and whether or not you'll consider bringing more Aussie girls to Philly for future Asylum cards."

Man In The Hat: "Kylie fought a heck of a fight against Pinkness. Did herself proud. And I'd love to have more fighters from Downunder Boxing on future cards. I really like havin' an international flavor to the proceedings. I'm very excited that the FCBA is now has stables in the UK and the Land Of Oz. As you might remember, Front Street went to the UK and Australia to fight last year. We had great crowds and the bouts were a great success..."

Tuff Girl Australia Reporter: "Follow up, Wiz. Do you think the Poppy Montgomery fight was the beginning of the end for McCarthy?"

Man In The Hat: "You're knew to these press conferences, so let me clue you in on something. I don't ever lie to the press. I may not answer a question, mind, but if I answer, it's the truth. So. As much as I'd LOVE to tell you that J-Mac's done, I didn't see anything in that fight that leads me to believe that. Now, sooner or later, she's gonna slip. Might happen slowly. Might happen suddenly. May already BE happening. But, again, I didn't see any proof of that against Poppy. Oh, Lord, it's Madison Addison Abigail McKenzie..."

Fighting Ingenue Reporter: "Of course, I want to ask about Jamie Lynn and Jessica Lowndes. You seemed concerned about what looked like fouling going on..."

Man In The Hat: "Well, it appeared to me that some of that was going on, yes. The good news is, Jamie Lynn dealt with it the same way she did when Appleby tried it her last time out. She put a right hand on her chin."

(Laughter)

Man In The Hat: "Tess, dear, go ahead..."

Tess: "Um...I want to broach this diplomatically...but...um...what happened between you and Britney when you came down to ringside?"

HBO Reporter(shouting): "I THINK SHE'S TALKING ABOUT WHEN SHE SENT YOU TO YOUR ROOM!"

(Laughter)

Man In The Hat(smiling): "OK. Technically, she didn't send me to my room. She sent me to a chair at ringside..."

(Laughter)

Man In The Hat: "Seriously, though, I could see that Lowndes was foulin' my kid and screenin' the referee and I wanted to make him aware of it. However. When you trust someone to run a corner, you have to LET them run the corner. Brit had a handle on it and didn't want me gettin' involved. So, I took a seat and let her handle it. Which, as the results indicate, she did pretty well..."

(Laughter)

Britney: "Besides, this isn't the first time I've had to send a bad boy to his room..."

(Laughter)

Man In The Hat: "Smackey, take us home!"

Reporter: "Anna looked awesome tonight..."

Man In The Hat: "Sheesh! It's about TIME someone asked about THAT!"

(Laughter)

Reporter: "But some folks are saying that maybe Union ought to think about retirement..."

Man In The Hat: "You know, I remember the LAST girl they said that about. Lawless. After SHE fought Anna. Notice a common factor here?"

(Laughter)

Man In The Hat: "Gabby can still fight. She just ran into a buzzsaw tonight is all. There ain't many fighters in the world capable of that kind of performance. Anna Torv is one of 'em. Think hard about that. Now, we're off to get something to eat and celebrate a great Asylum card and a big Buckeye victory! Suck it, Badgers!"