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5 November 2011 Anne Hathaway vs Katy Perry

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 2 months ago

Anne Hathaway 04.jpg Katy Perry.jpg

HBO SATURDAY NIGHT FIGHTS

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on 11/5/2011, 9:41 am

BEFORE:

"Katy is a big fight for me," Anne says, smiling sweetly. "I'm better than people think and, now that I have management, I know I'll get better with more work. But, I have a lot of doubters out there. A win here could make believers out of some of them, and I'm GOING to win.

"I've seen the tape on Anne," says Katy. "She's no joke. She can fight. But she's not as strong, quick, or athletic as me. This is my fight to win, and that's just what I'm going to do."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Welcome, fans, to the Trump Taj Mahal for a special edition of Saturday Night Fights! I'm Jenny O'Dell along with Jenny McCarthy, and, Mac, what's your take on this one?"

McCarthy: "Big fight for both girls. Perry has to show she can do more than brawl. The blueprint for beating her is out there. Everyone's seen the tape of the Hurley fight. And, I know the Weirdo says her job isn't in danger, but we ALL know he's strictly Flavor Of The Month. She needs to win tonight or he'll be auditioning replacements tomorrow."

O'Dell: "How about Anne?"

McCarthy: "Kid's a big name, but never had much success. She's got management. She's going to get a chance. She needs to take advantage. Perry's vulnerable. Anne has an opportunity here."

O'Dell: "And we're about to see if she can seize it. That's 'You Make Me Feel Like Dancing' and here comes Anne. She's looking pretty confident, Tess."

Tess: "Sure is. I've talked with Anne's people, and they're convinced she's the favorite here."

O'Dell: "Anne helped off with the robe, shows off a nice medium blue number..."

McCarthy: "Not a bad body. Not a GREAT one, like MINE, but not bad..."

Tess: "Look up 'humility' in the dictionary..."

O'Dell: "Aaaaannnnnd that's 'Firework' and her comes Katy Perry. Bouncing to the ring. Smiling. Looking plenty confident herself..."

McCarthy: "Confidence is the least of the kid's problems..."

O'Dell: "So, Mac, as Katy climbs in, how do you handicap this?"

McCarthy: "You've got to make Perry a slight favorite. If she can find Anne's chin, she'll shut her off. On the other hand, Hathaway has seen the tape. If she boxes Perry and avoids getting caught, she can win the fight wide."

Tess: "Wow. I can't believe how far out onto a limb you went with that prediction. Maybe Katy wins and maybe Anne does! Deep stuff!"

McCarthy: "Shut it, Walmart!"

O'Dell: "Yes, it's business as usual in the HBO booth. Katy off with the robe and..."

McCarthy: "Wins the disrobe. KATY has got herself a BODY. That lime green number looks GREAT on the kid, too. I've said it before. She could be a Playmate. Probably not a Playmate of the YEAR, but a Playmate!"

O'Dell: "Referee giving the fighters the instructions. Sends them back to their respective corners, there's the bell and we're underway. Perry right after Anne, bulling forward. Hathaway in full retreat here. Perry letting the hands go. Landing some rights to the head and body. Anne with the hands high, giving ground. Katy banging gloves off Anne's guard, chasing as Anne backs and circles..."

McCarthy: "This is the worst of both of these fighters. Katy just wading in and swinging and Anne getting chased out of her stance, not able or willing to stand in."

O'Dell: "Katy backing Hathaway into the ropes, hooking the ribs. Anne tying up, trying to get a fresh start and she's going to, as the referee breaks. Anne scampering out to open waters. Katy right back after her. Swinging hooks with the left and right both. Missing more than she's landing, but banging some heavy leather to the body, snapping back the head with a straight left between the gloves. Anne tying up again. Holding Katy's arms."

McCarthy: "Hathaway just trying to survive here. Trying to get out of this round with her head attached!"

O'Dell: "Perry no doubt trying to knock it off. Winging away as Anne backs away, bobs, tries to circle. Katy lands a solid right, hooks the belly with a left. Bell. And no one's happier to hear it than Anne Hathaway!"

McCarthy: "That round was all Perry. If Anne keeps fighting like this, it's just a matter of time. Sooner or later, Katy gets her."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Between rounds, Neve and Jewel giving Perry the same advice they gave Torv during the Union fight. Stay patient. Let the fight come to you, and you'll get her."

McCarthy: "I hate to say I agree with those two losers..."

Tess: "Who, like every other trainer with an FCBA win, have more FCBA wins than YOU..."

McCarthy: "Let me try this in another order. Walmart, SHUT IT!"

O'Dell: "Well, let's see if Katy takes Neve, Jewel, and Mac's advice. There's the bell for the second, and on comes Perry. Walking through Anne's jab, hooking the ribs with the left, forcing Hathaway backward and..."

McCarthy: "HUGE RIGHT HAND! WALKED INTO IT!"

O'Dell: "The right buckles the knees! She lets the hands go. Four punch flurry! All landing clean! DOWN GOES KATY!"

McCarthy: "Unbelievable! Just led with the chin!"

O'Dell: "Referee at six. Katy flat on her face. Seven. She's pushing to hands and knees. Eight. Nine...it's over! Perry still on her hands and knees! The winner in shocking fashion by KO2 is Anne Hathaway!"

AFTER:

McCarthy: "Let's check the replay, Jenny. Katy chasing. Look at her throw this wild right. Leaves her chin wide open and Anne just slams a hook into it. Give those great legs credit for holding her up after that, but she's stunned, defenseless. And Anne just goes left, right, left, right, and Katy splashes down at her feet. She landed five decent punches all night, but she sure bunched them well!"

O'Dell: "Gotta think this just reinforces all the questions about Perry. And, speaking of questions, let's go to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "Thanks, Jenny, I have our winner, Anne Hathaway, and, Anne, huge win for you..."

Anne: "Yeah. Like I said, I need to prove the doubters wrong and my new management right. I knew I'd beat Katy. She's a poor man's version of Navi Rawat, and you may remember what I did to HER. Katy doesn't have anything but a big punch. It's no trick beating her. Just box her until she gives you her chin, just like Hurley did. But it's not a total loss for Katy. She's not going to have much of a career in the FCBA, but she'll at least be an historical footnote. She'll be known as the girl who launched Anne Hathaway's run up the rankings to the title. And I'm coming for all those girls on the rungs ahead of me. Heard. Morrison. Lawrence, Cook, Garrett, Carpenter, Vandervoort, Winstead, Yustman. Step by step. Right into the top echelon. Then on to the top! Katy was just step number one."

O'Dell: "Back at ringside ladies and gentlemen, and now we're going to throw it to The Grand Wizard of Boxing and Britney Spears for a first EVER on television!"