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26 November 2011 January Jones vs Nicole Scherzinger

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 2 months ago

January Jones 01.jpg Nicole Scherzinger 03.jpg

"FRONT STREET VS BBU FRIENDLY AT THE ASYLUM"

(SITE: THE ASYLUM ARENA. PHILADEPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA)

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on 11/26/2011, 11:38 pm

BEFORE:

"Scherzinger can be had to the body," says a nodding January. "The girls who beat her are the girls who mix it up with her, bang with her, grind her down. And I've got JUST the body to do that."

"I know what she thinks," says a deadly serious Nicole. "She thinks she's going to come in here and shock the world. Well. Someone's in for a shock, and it's not the world."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and we're back to bantam, where January 'Jugz' Jones will battle former number one contender Nicole Scherzinger, and, right on cue, I hear 'Lullaby' by The Cure, and here comes January."

McCarthy: "Jones is 0-2 in her brief FCBA career, but I give her a chance tonight, because I think Scherzinger is WAY overrated!"

Tess: "The last girl you said that about is now on a five fight winning streak and just got a third round TKO..."

McCarthy: "SHUT IT, WALMART!"

O'Dell: "Jones into the ring, helped off with the robe...wow...looks pretty good in that white bikini, Mac..."

McCarthy: "Oh, she's definitely going to win the disrobe...it won't be close!"

Tess: "It won't be close? Against Scherzinger? Get the prescription on your contacts checked!"

McCarthy: "Contact...I will SMACK..."

O'Dell: "Aaaaandddd there are the familiar strains of 'Don't Cha' and here comes Nicole..."

McCarthy: "The ORIGINAL Dancing Hooker..."

Tess: "Fans, keep in mind that, while Ms. McCarthy calls Ms. Scherzinger a hooker, ONE of the two of them stripped for money...and it WASN'T Ms. Scherzinger..."

McCarthy: "I swear to GOD, Walmart..."

O'Dell: "Ladies, please! Someone at HBO has a finger on a switch right now. Nicole getting into the ring, helped off with the robe by Britney and Neve...wow..."

Tess: "'Wow' is right! Look at that shimmering green number! We ought to have an interactive poll on who wins the disrobe for HBO fights. I may have to suggest that to Wiz..."

O'Dell: "If there were a poll for this one, January would no doubt have her supporters, but I think Nicole might be very hard to beat. Against just about anyone..."

McCarthy: "Well, I remember blowing her away when WE fought...but not everyone is Playmate Of The Freaking Century..."

Tess: "That century, of course, was the one that ended a decade ago..."

O'Dell: "The opening credits for 'Family Affair 2: The Revenge of Jody' starring Johnny Whitaker, Kathy Garver and T-Pain are going to be running any second now! There's the bell, thank goodness, and here we go! Jones off her stool and right after Nicole. Scherzinger circling and jabbing. January pursuing. Wants to get in close and bang."

McCarthy: "That's the right strategy. Scherzinger doesn't like the physical stuff..."

Tess: "Seems to me she handled it pretty well against Fergie, Saldana, Pam Anderson..."

McCarthy: "I'll handle the color commentary, Walmart!"

O'Dell: "I think Pauly Shore's in that one, too, fans, so, don't fail to miss it. Meanwhile, Jones doing a good job of cutting the ring right now, Mac. Closing distance, working the body some. Nicole using that speed to and jabs and combinations, but Jones holding her own."

McCarthy: "January working mostly body, which is a good idea. Nicole's chin is tough to find. She's quick defensively. But you can score as many points to the body as you can to the head."

O'Dell: "Nicole slips back to the center. Jones moving forward, looking to crowd...AND DOWN SHE GOES! OH, WHAT A COMBINATION BY SCHERZINGER!"

McCarthy: "Jones went right to her back, but she's rolling to her knees. She's going to beat the count!"

O'Dell: "January up at seven. Takes the mandatory eight. Here comes Nicole. Backing Jones up with that speed jab. That's the bell. Pretty even going for awhile, but Nicole finished with a flourish."

McCarthy: "Check the knockdown on replay. Scherzinger feints with a left, lands a right hand lead, a follow up left hook, and then a quick right cross that spills Jones to her back and gives Scherzinger the 10-8 round."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Back to live action now, and Jones right back after Scherzinger. Seems to have shaken off the knockdown. Cutting off the ring, going to the body. Scherzinger jabbing for distance. Using the legs. Presenting a moving target. Picking off Jones' efforts upstairs. Landing a counter here and there."

McCarthy: "Jones keeping up the pressure, though. This is what she has to do. Work that body for points and kill the legs."

O'Dell: "Scherzinger stopping and popping. Jones crowding, tying up, banging the belly and the ribs in close. Referee breaks them apart and Nicole's back on the move. January chasing, hounding, landing hooks to the body when she manages to cut the ring off. Nicole with a flurry to end the round, but Jones did pretty well for herself there, Mac."

McCarthy: "She won the round. Busier. Landed more punches. That was a good round for January."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Underway in the third and Jones continuing to pressure, working the body, crowding Nicole. Scherzinger using the legs well, moving, making Jones' job difficult, using the jab well, pot-shotting with the occasional right hand."

McCarthy: "By keeping up this pressure, January's keeping Nicole out of her game. She wants to stick and move, jab and circle, work in space, but Jones isn't giving her space, and Scherzinger doesn't like it."

O'Dell: "Tactics fairly effective so far. Jones staying in this thing. Cutting the ring off again now. Working body, tying up. Nicole slips free and back to open canvas. Slowing Jones with the jab. Circling. January pursuing doggedly. Eats a jab. Counters with a hook to the midsection...OH! JONES IS HURT! SHE'S STAGGERED! DOWN SHE GOES! A vicious combination from Scheringer! Jones flat on her back as Nicole heads to a neutral corner. Referee can count for a long time. Jones trying to lift her head and can't manage it. Nine! Ten! It's over! The winner by KO3 is Nicole Scherzinger!"

McCarthy: "Let's check the replay on this Jenny. Jones walks through a jab to hook the body and Nicole rips a short hook from the hip. Jones wobbles and Nicole just lets the hands go. Lands five straight punches to the head , the last one a straight right that sent Jones flat to her back. She wasn't getting up from that."

O'Dell: "The danger of pressuring a fighter as quick as Nicole. You may not see it coming, and Jones didn't."

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "Nicky, nice win for you tonight..."

Nicole: "Always good to come back strong from a loss. Give Jones credit. She was game. She tried to bully me around in there. But she's apparently watching dated tape. Because Nicole Scherzinger doesn't GET bullied anymore."

PHIL