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3 December 2011 Jessie J vs Pippa Middleton

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 1 month ago

Jessie J 01.jpg Pippa Middleton 02.jpg

(GARNETT GUNNER'S VS TECH EUROPE)

(BBU BOUT: BBU ARENA, CARDIFF, WALES UK)

Posted by Alli Kear on 12/3/2011, 3:18 am

Alex Hammond commentates

Now it’s the turn of the big girls, and we’ve got the poshest ass in the UK – Pippa, fighting young Jessie – debut for Jessie tonight, and I’ve seen her train – the girl’s got power, but not much style. Pippa of course, is all style, in every sense of that word.

Here come the girls, and Pippa’s wearing her favourite white one-piece fighting leotard, and Jessie J’s in a similar black one-piece – she looks up for this does Jessie, but Pippa’s just oozing confidence. Touch of the gloves there – nice to see after a couple of bad-tempered fights earlier.

Round 1

Well, they’re not touching gloves now! Pippa’s just smacked a lovely right hook into Jessie’s mouth, just to say ‘hello’ and then Jessie’s banged the posh bird straight back – one to the face, two to the ribs, and Pippa’s hurt already. Jessie has real power, and she’s using it – big haymaker to the side of Pippa’s head there, that’ll make Middy’s ears ring! Pippa’s trying to box neatly now, throws a good jab, and another – needs that workrate to get through to Jessie, but the big singer’s unfazed, and she’s hurt Pippa again – another big right hook – on the cheek this time, and Pippa’s holding on in there, running the clock down, but on shaky pins, I’m afraid after one round.

Round 2

It’s a bit more circumspect now, with both girls trying to fight to their strengths, and Pippa’s doing well – the girl’s fit, I’ll give her that! Middy on her bike here, boxing Jessie at arm’s length early on, scoring the points over the youngster. Jessie’s taking some stick, but she fires back, traps Pippa a little against the ropes there, and she unloads – wow! That’s got to hurt! Jessie just smashed her left fist right into Pippa’s mouth – her head went back, shower of sweat and snot flew up, and she’s bleeding – not surprising – that was a massive punch! Pippa’s hanging on, but she gets hurt again – body this time, and I don’t know that she can take much more!

Round 3

Well, credit to Pippa – she’s taking the fight to Jessie again early here – that jabbing, almost set style of hers is just classic, and the singer doesn’t really cope to well against it, to be fair, with Middy just spanking her face with that left jab. The girl’s keeping on her toes this round, too doesn’t want that booming left hand of Jessie’s in the mouth again, but the singer’s gradually closing her down, stalking her like an animal, and bang! A right hook to the gut almost lefts Middy off her feet there, and one to the face, poor girl’s all over the place, now, getting tagged with the left again, too – and another! Pippa’s holding on, but it’s all falling apart for the posh girl, in the corner in these last few seconds – getting pounded – but not in a good way!

Round 4

Pippa’s looking a bit roughed up now, her face bruising around the cheeks, her lips bloodied, and Jessie’s after the girl from the bell this time, not letting her have that little bit of boxing and posing for the first minute or so. Jessie ploughs into Pippa there, big right hands to the body, yeah, she’s hurt her alright, and there’s that straight left again – too much for Middy this time, and she’s gone down – Pippa Middleton on her back in the centre of the ring, people, rolls over and makes it up for 9, but this is going to be hard for the girl now! Jessie rushes in – too eager, baby! Pippa has enough left in the tank to land some nice blows to the singer’s face herself, and she’s dancing and hopping round Jessie – suddenly the big girl looks tired, but she’s got that first knockdown on board, so she’ll take the round, but that’s her weakest round from a great start!

Round 5

It’s all calming down now, with Pippa doling out a boxing exhibition to a rather heavy-legged Jessie, making the big girl miss, popping jabs in her face, making the girl look poor, actually. Jessie lunges in at Pippa, but she’s not there, girl, she’s skipped off, and now she jabs Jessie, bop, bop – then she’s out again, almost like a 5 feet 9 version of Hayden Panettiere as she increases her workrate, lands lots of punches, and uses speed and stamina to sap her opponent. In fact, I don’t recall Jessie landing a punch in this round, and she looks absolutely non-plussed as the round ends.

Round 6

It’s Pippa again, despite the swollen face, who dictates the pace and feel of this round, and she’s skipped in again, landed a one-two to Jessie’s open face, then slipped away with the singer’s counter punches whistling harmlessly by. Jessie’s actually moving backwards now, with Pippa flowing her in nicely, landing a jab, a jab – winding up for a hook, buts Jessie comes forwards, and lands! And boy, does she land – huge right hook to Middy’s ear, has her stumbling, now a left, splat in the eye, and down goes Pippa, just about blown away by that. She’s up at 8, but the eyes have gone – no-one home – it’s over!

Jessie J stopped Pippa Middleton in round 6

Well, I guess that fight showed us that Pippa isn’t a contender at this level – but Jessie J? She’s not ready for Sabrina Washington yet, but she’s the next best Brit I’ve seen and I’d love to see her fight Kelli Young or Jaye Jacobs, just to test her jaw out!