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9 December 2011 Kat Dennings vs Kim Kardashian

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 1 month ago

Kat Dennings 02.jpg Kim Kardashian 02.jpg

Posted by simguy on 12/9/2011, 12:50 pm

BEFORE: "I'm calling her "Fat" Kat Dennings," Kim chirps happily in prefight. "'Fat' for short. Seriously...actresses are so 1999: I'm where it's at now, and Kat's just going to have to accept that. Two hard punches will get her out of there - promise!" Dennings having fun with press - not feeling any podium-heat from belligerent Kim. "It's true," Kat shrugs in rebuttal. "I'm packing a little tummy for this fight...but so what? Maybe after I knock Kim out, we can take our business the mud-pit and I'll plow her again! Look, end of the day...Kim's a slugger; I'm a slugger...someone's gonna get slugged, am I right? It's all good!" Kat in royal blue Fruit o' the loom style cotton bra; crimson hipster bottoms; crimson gloves; dark hair in tight curls (loose). Kimmy K coming in a little beefier than we've seen her but not sloppy: peach punching bikini; black gloves; shiny black hair loose.

During R1: Kim: teeth bared, eyes furious; chest out; head up...she's swinging away wide from the hips, buffetting Kat off balance early. Dennings regroups, holding hands up eye, rounded arms very rigid...by the minute mark she's standing rock-solid, absorbing wallop on meaty shoulders/biceps. Kimmy slugs her heart out, mouthbreathing at last: Kat issues a stubby knock-jab against Kim's face, scoring cleanly. Enraged Kardashian wails away with fresh anger: Kat right there, arms up in rigid blocking guard...she absorbs the shelling, waits for Kim to tire, then knock-jabs her left hand against Kim's breasts. Kardashian panting: Kat drops a stubby straight right off her brow to Kim's mouth: straight left shocks Kim's jugs, gets her backpedalling. Kat hopping forward all a-jiggle: robotic, stiff hands-up look, but she's taking canvas, punishing Kim methodical. Bell: Kat finishes up force-feeding a shoving right to Kim's breasts, drawing a howl of protest from outraged reality star.

R2: Crazy/sloppy swinging from Kimmy K early: Kat blocking on beefy arms, but giving ground, unable to stand against the storm for a minute. Second minute, Kimmy tires, Kat starts a-knockin': straight, stubby, very deliberate, stiff lefts and rights pound at Kim's breasts and face, punching her into a tizzy. Kat stepping in her shots - just fitting 'em into Kim with stamping gusto. Wheels fall off late after a ref's break: Kat resetting herself, takes a swinging right to chin and SHE'S STEPPING IN FENCE-POST HOLES! Kimmy hopping forward all furious - jugs a-sloshing side to side as she belts Kat to ropes. Right hand to chin; left to gut; right to gut and DOWN GOES KAT! Dennings bludgeonned to all fours, panting in shock...Kimmy puts her right foot on Kat's full left hip and shoves her to her right side as ref rushes in. Rowdy slugging knockdown for Kardashian has all 2 million twitter fans going apeshit through 2.

R3: Kim swinging away lusty - jugs a-sloshin' as she wades in thick. Kat sturdy in her upright stance, arms raised...she blocks much of the incoming as Kardashian head hunts exclusively. Kimmy tires...Kat starts to pound in the short lefts and rights - dropping 'em from her high guard and slamming into jug and and jaw. Down the stretch, Kat's patient knocks have Kim woozy: drifting right to the knockers stuns Kardashian: swinging left clips across chin and DOWN GOES KIM! Kardashian dropped to her buns and jiggling to a stop: Kat breathing hard, eyes flashing as she gets the answer knockdown in methodical fashion.

R4: Kat working off the block, stepping in her straight power shots to soften Kim up, then widen-up on the odd swinging hook when Kardashian's frazzled. Kimmy beaten into retreat, but midway through, she walks Kat into a swinging right behind left ear, bashing Dennings sideways into ropes, momentarily stunning her. Kim panting, exhausted, but squaring away to work: she thumps mitts-off-meat throughout second minute, forcing Kat to clinch. Down the stretch, Kim's out of gas, backing up again: Kat knock-knocking her way forward, but hurting, can't do enough to take back the round.

R5: Kat bodies up, walks Kim into ropes, looks to bully her tummy to tummy. Dennings obviously very sturdy in the pocket - reaching under Kimmy's arms and bulling her into ropes to prevent escape attempts. Kardashian whining, trying to wrestle Kat into ropes...girls spending a lot of time negotiating position, holding and hitting in the clinches. Kat's jugs coming under fire as Kimmy's shoving right hands in from in close: thumping reprisals from Kat see her pound away to rack two-handed, forcing Kim to clinch. Dennings crossing arms to brace her forearms against Kim's chest: Kat cackling as Kim clinches around the shoulders, but can't stop her tormentress from pushing into her. Kat's legs/backside convulsing with the effort of jamming into Kim's jugs...Kardashian's howls eventually bring the ref in as Kat's all licking her lips/wiggling her hips and being a brat in general.

R6: Fight drifts to ropes...both fighters mouthbreathing, obviously not conditioned for the workload. Good old fashioned shoving-and-punching...girls wrestling each other into ropes, wrapping shoulders in one arm while beatin' the bodkin with the free mitt. Not fancy, but work's getting done - ref letting it go even as women get cheap on the inside. Both girls taking the opportunity to pancake opposition rack in the clinch - just crossing forearms against jug and plowing weight forward to push opponent deep to ropes. Constant mound-pounding and mass-management breaking Kim down: exhausted, mouth wide open, she wilts to all fours late, sobbing for breath/whining to ref about Kat's "cheapness".

R7: Unmistakable pattern: Kat's coming forward, bulling Kim into ropes, making her fight...Kardashian whining, wrestling, holding and hitting with desperate fury, but obviously getting ground down. Girls forming cauldron at several points - left hands wrapped in behind opposing heads, holding 'em close; right hands plowing up and in, spanking gut and jug like rack-derricks. Kat gritting her teeth, taking the pain...she's just the bigger, more wilfful beauty in these tight confines, using poor Kimmy up. As Kardashian starts to clinch and fall back into ropes: Kat's pushing into jugs with those crossed forearms, cackling as Kardashian blubbers in protest.

R8: Both girls winded, walking towards each other with hands on hips: once in range, they'll slug; fall in; stumble to ropes for more slop-and-slug. Action slowing, but not the intensity: both girls still mustering enough energy to whack each other loud in the gut or jug at points. Poor Kim just can't get out from under: Kat methodically reaching in, chesting Kim deep to ropes, beating Kim body punches, finishing up on the rack as Kardashian tries to clinch. Bell: Kat won't get off Kim - just crushing Kardashian against corner turnbuckles until ref pulls meaty comedienne off.

R8: Kardashian spent, but swinging: Kat blocking with that stiff look; knocking in her stubby receipts, then reaching under Kim's arms to drive whining reality star into ropes. Smothering beatdown ensues...Kat stamping on the spot, controlling Kim with tummy, pulling at her, bullying her. Kat holding and hitting out of the wrap, right hand plundering all the belly and breast it can take. Kimmy blurting and whining, spending herself against Kat's thickness...it's just one girl slowly extinguishing another. Kardashian takes a breathless knee at one point: sheer accumulation and constant crowding taking it's toll through 8.

R9: Kim Kardashian...warrior princess? Thoroughly ass-kicked Kimmy comes out swinging, catching Kat lefts and rights midring and driving her ropeside. Kimmy just pouring in all a-jiggle - chin out over Kat's right shoulder while right hand plows tummy and trunks. Ref issuing breaks, but Kat's hurt, mouth open...Kim able to regroup, mount fresh attacks as Kat starts shippin' wallop. Kardashian in a nice bullying rhythm - reaching in under Kat's arms to spread the guard apart, then rolling right/left/right chugging barrages into Kat's breadbasket CHUP! CHUP! CHUP! Kardashian pursing her lips/rolling her shoulders as she's pumping in this punishment. Midway through, hard right wide right claps across Kat's mouth, stunning her...wide-eyed Dennings slides to her left all buzzed, staring as Kim crowds in from Kat's right side. Kim hip-to-hip with Kat, left arm around Kat's back...Kardashian SLAMMING away righty to gut as Dennings gurgles, left hand in ropes for support. KAT GOES DOWN! Healthy doses of leather to Denning's paunch put her panting all all fours, left side touching ropes: seething Kardashian lifting right fist to bring a hammer-blow down on Kat's back as ref rushes in. Dennings climbs the ropes to beat the count, but she's woozy, fading fast: Kimmy all used up herself, finishes up the round hands on hips, mouthbreathing and glaring as Kat sags into ropes, arms crossed against throbbing tummy.

R10: Sloppy sluggers fall into bruising mutual embrace, stagger into ropes all whining and mauling. Artless shoving and slugging...girls tumbling along ropes all buns a-jostle, each just trying to stabilize the other long enough to tuck a right hand into belly or jug. Kat's tummy bullying Kim's a bit in the exchanges...Dennings always able to wrestle Kim down and punish her until Kardashian can wriggle into a new position. Plenty of jug to go around - girls belting and plowing away with heartless abandon - both taking every opportunity to cross-forearms and shove in hard when the other tries to clinch. Bell: fighters still stumbling along the apron like a pair of battling siamese twins - ref pulls 'em apart and it comes back UD10 Kat Dennings.

After: Kim: "WHAT?" when decision is announced...in her mind, all she recalls is all the tummy and jug she was able to harvest. Kat pushing Kim in the aftermath and daring her to swing - officials intervene as Kardashian's on the verge of losing her mind. "I like this boxing!" Denning says in postfight. "Playing whack-a-bytch with my fists for money? Sign me up!"