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9-10 December 2011 Post PPV Front St Lookout and Bazz

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years, 1 month ago

LIVE STREAMING OF FRONT STREET STABLE POST FIGHT PRESS CONFERENCE

Posted by Boxing World Online on 12/9/2011, 11:38 pm

The Man In The Hat sits, as usual, in the center of the dais. To his right sit Cassie Scerbo, Jewel, and Britney Spears. On his left, Kat Dennings, Avril Lavigne, and Neve Campbell.

Man In The Hat: "All right, I'll take questions. Cable Boy. Go!"

HBO Reporter: "Are you disappointed in Cassie, Wiz?"

Man In The Hat: "Ok. Let me rephrase. I'll take INTELLIGENT questions! You, Cable Boy, will not LIVE to see the day that I am disappointed in Cassandra Lynn Scerbo! I'm ALWAYS proud of her. And tonight? Prouder than ever. Cassie went toe to toe with the flyweight champion and proved she's every bit as good as Portman is. She didn't get Natalie's belts, but I guarantee you, she got Natalie's RESPECT. Cable Boy II!"

Showtime Reporter: "Respect isn't what she came for..."

Man In The Hat: "Well. You won't convince Cassie of this right now, but...Belts? They come and go. Respect is a lot more, shall we say, permanent. And Cassie will HAVE the belts. Just a matter of time. And I'll tell you what else. My old pal Hawk. Two things I know about him. He's smart and he's fair. He's never gonna LIKE Cassie, but I guarantee you, despite remarks to the contrary, he respects her now. He's too smart not to. He won't admit it publicly, of course. But he does. And speaking of publicly. Wiz ain't nice. In fact, he's evil, as you all know. He is also FAIR. So, I will publicly congratulate Ms. Portman and the fine folks at HISC on their win tonight. Oh. And, Hawk? Those fried peanut butter crackers with banana and maple syrup? So good, Elvis may come BACK for some. Now, Tess, dear. Go ahead..."

Tess: "I have a question for Kat. How did it feel to get your first FCBA win?"

Kat(grinning): "Pretty good, Tess!"

(Laughter)

Kat(grinning more broadly): "Seriously. This whole thing is like a dream, you know? A few weeks ago, I'm unemployed, buying time at a crap gym. Can't get fights. No one returns my calls. And now? I'm in the biggest stable in the FCBA. I've got first class everything. I'm being trained by Jewel and Neve Campbell and Britney Freaking Spears! And I'm fighting Kim Kardashian on pay-per-view! If it's a dream and someone wakes me up, I'm gonna kick her a**!"

(Laughter)

Man In The Hat: "Dream's just gonna get better from here, kid. Count on it. Smackeroo! Go!"

Reporter: "Cassie, despite what Wiz said, I'm sure you're disappointed..."

Man In The Hat: "Ok, we're not gonna get into..."

Cassie: "I'll answer it, Uncle Wiz. Yeah. I'm disappointed. It was there and I didn't get the job done. I didn't want any moral victories. I wanted the belts. So, yeah. It sucks. And I'm going to feel sorry for myself tonight, ok, Uncle Wiz? And then tomorrow I'm going to start using this as motivation to make a lot of OTHER people sorry..."

Man In The Hat: "The daughter I never had, this kid here. Now, before we go, Av. My robes..."

The Man In The Hat stands as Avril pulls out a long judicial robe from under the dais and hands it to him. The Man In The Hat pulls the robe on and then takes a gavel from the blonde. When she returns to her seat, he slams the gavel off the dais and says, "ORDER IN THIS COURT!" silencing the buzzing reporters.

Man In The Hat: "Now. Judge Wiz has a verdict. BLONDE! Magazine? GUILTY! HBO? GUILTY! Showtime? GUILTY! ESPN? GUILTY! Brunette Magazine? GUILTY! Playboy Channel? GUILTY! Celebrity Ring? FCBA Enquirer? FoxSports? GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY! Every one of you out there save Tractorpull and Boxing World! GUILTY!"

HBO Reporter: "What are you..."

Man In The Hat(slamming the gavel): "SILENCE! Now, I'm going to pass sentence. All rise! All of you! UP! Don't make me climb down from here, BLONDE! Boy! I'll pull you out of that chair, Master of the Puniverse!"

All the reporters rise, many shaking their heads. "All of you are guilty. Because, to quote Jim Mora, 'You think you know, but you don't know. And. You. Never. Will. Tractorpull and Boxing World were at least smart enough to know what they DIDN'T know. They were smart enough to listen to ME. Because I KNEW. I knew you were ALL full of crap! And, you are now found GUILTY of being full of crap and, as your punishment you WILL stand there and show respect for the woman you said was done! The woman I TOLD you was the best pound-for-pound fighter ON THIS PLANET and the NEW LIGHTWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, JESSICA BIEL!"

And, as Jessica comes through the curtain, belts around her waist and over her shoulders, the ladies on the dais rise and "put their hands together" while the reporters, partly out of respect, no doubt, and partly out of fear, most certainly, join in. A quick rap of the gavel silences them and the Man In The Hat says, "How's it feel to be back on top, kid?"

Jessica steps up to the microphone and says, "Look, I'm kind of embarrassed by all this. But, when Wiz invited me here, I decided to come, because I wanted to thank him for believing in me..."

Man In The Hat: "Jess? Are you flippin' kiddin' Old Wiz, here? Believin' in YOU is like believin' in the freakin' law of GRAVITY. It's pretty easy to do, because if you stop, you're gonna end up on your a**!"

(Laughter)

Man In The Hat: "Now, I don't wanna embarrass Jessica any more tonight, but I got one more thing to say. Did any of you SEE what she did out there? REALLY see? She absolutely DOMINATED one of the best fighters on the PLANET. DOMINATED. How many fighters do you think there are that can, on their best day, BEAT Missy Peregrym? Not many. You know how many there are who can blow her doors off? The number is ONE and the 'One' is standing in front of you. I'm gonna say it one more time, and then all of YOU are gonna go write it. Because, for ONCE you WILL know. Because I've TOLD you. Jessica Biel is the best pound-for-pound fighter on the PLANET. And, right now, some crazy guy from Philadelphia is gonna buy the best pound-for-pound fighter on the planet DINNER. Let's go, ladies. Tess. Smackeroo. See you in the limo."

LOOKOUT! BOXING LOCKER ROOM POST PPV

Posted by Lookout! Boxing on 12/10/2011, 11:34 am

Lockout! Locker Room
(Post PPV)

Overall, it was a jubilant scene in the Lookout! Locker room, at least initially. As usual though, it doesn't last for long.

Kim Kardashian sat by the television, deleting episodes of “2 Broke Girls” off of the DVR as Linsday Lohan gave an indignant squeal.

“I was saving those, Kimmy!” Jessica Simpson stated angrily, standing nearby with hands on her hips.

“That's too bad.” Kim retorted as she deleted yet another episode.

This led to Lohan tackling Kardashian on the couch, both of them reaching for the remote control. Kardashian arched back as they rolled across the plush couch, her outstretched arm leave the remote control out of Lohan's grasp as her other hand shoved at Lindsay's tummy to push her backwards. Lohan tugged at Kardashian's dark tresses, other hand snaring her forearm to try to pull the prized remote control down into Lindsay's grasp. The two of them toppled off of the couch with Kim on top, both of them shouting with the sudden collision onto the floor. Kim tried to lean forward to press her chest into Lohan's face, forearm extended to delete yet another episode of the television show starring Kat Dennings when suddenly the remote control was plucked from her fingertips. A yank of her hair followed as she tumbled off of a gasping Lohan.

Looking down at the two of them, holding the remote control, was Jessica Simpson.

“Why don't the two of you just let me handle this remote control?” Jessica says, remote control in one hand and the other hand on her hips, “Clearly, you two don't seem to be able to handle it.”

Kim Kardashian scrambled to her feet, getting into Jessica's face as they stood, face to face and jug-to-jug.

“I want it back, Jessie...” Kim snarled, “I had it first.”

Jessica rolled her eyes, “And now I've got it. I'm going to watch Chuck.”

“That sounds great, Jessica!” chimed in Leighton Meester, “I heard that Yvonne and Beau Garrett have an amazing match in this episode.”

“As if you'd know a great match if you saw one.” Megan Fox snarked.

Leighton Meester just smirked, “Please, Meg, I know you DVR all the episodes of Gossip Girl that you can. I'd save all the episodes of your highly successful television, but oh, that's right, you don't have one.”

“Neither does Minka Kelly. Charlie's Angel's anyone?” ” Hilary Duff said, prompting some laughter in the room though Hilary did look around to ensure Minka was not in earshot. Minka, however, was nowhere in the room as Hilary privately wondered where Minka was.

Jessica Simpson shoved Kim backwards into Lohan, who had made her way to her feet. Settling down onto the couch as she scrolled down to select the latest episode of “Chuck.”, with several of her Lookout! Boxing members settling in around her.

Lohan and Kardashian huffed on the side, glaring daggers at one another.

“Why don't you go pose naked for another magazine?” Kardashian said as she bumped her shapely hips into Lohan to knock her off balance.

“Why don't you go get married again?” Lohan said with a retort.

Whatever retort Kardashian was about to say was drowned out by the sound of the Eagles “Take It To The Limit.” blaring over the loudspeakers as Minka Kelly made her entrance into the room, to applause. Some genuine, some grudging. Minka Kelly made a proud circuit of the room as she exchanged some high fives with fellow Lookout! Boxing members. All of the stable offered their congratulations.

Minka Kelly exulted, “In extra innings, in overtime, in extra play, over and over again..” as Minka Kelly picks up a water bottle, using it as an impromptu microphone, singing along with the chorus of the song, “I take it to the limit – one mooore time!!” as she smirks, chatting over with the rest of her stable as she took a sip from the water bottle.

Vanessa Hudgens snuck up behind Linsday Lohan, taunting her softly in her ear, “Notice that Minka Kelly is like the total reverse of you. You can't stop losing against her and Mink can't stop winning, can she?”

“Shut the eff up” Lohan growled, “I don't want to hear from you.”

Hudgens giggles, “Maybe we should go ask Hannah Montana her opinion.” as she glances over at Miley Cyrus, “Then, we can get an opinion from somebody else who kicked your butt!”

Lohan spins around to give Vanessa a huge shove as Vanessa retaliates with one of her own. A full-blown fight seems inevitable before Miley Cyrus steps over.

“Congratulations on your win over Emily Browning.” Miley states enthusiastically, as several others also give their congratulations, though some of it is half-hearted .

“Thanks!!” Nessa says with a grin, “Emily is pretty good I'll admit, but I'm just better. I beat her down while on the Sucker Punch set and that clearly carried over into the FCBA ring, didn't it? The flyweight division is going to learn that my rule is absolute and there's not going to be any doubt about that here in the future.”

“I heard all about things on the Sucker Punch set.” Minka Kelly said with a wink, “Just like things were on the set of Charlie's Angels.”

As Minka Kelly finished saying that, suddenly her music stopped. Minka whirled around angrily, furious as to who would stop her theme song, while Elisha Cuthbert stood there. One hand on her hips as the other held the Bantamweight Championship aloft.

Loud cheers greeted the arrival of Elisha Cuthbert as she said with a smirk, sauntering forward, “Of course you could've ruled the Charlie's Angels set. That would've lasted like – what – five minutes? That show was gone so fast, if you blinked, you missed it.”

Minka Kelly's face turned scarlet, hissing as Elisha Cuthbert's taunt was interrupted by a bout of couching. After a few seconds, it was clear it was fake as Cuthbert laughed, holding the championship belt right up in Minka's face, “Guess I didn't cough this up, did I, Mink?”

The entire stable laughs at Elisha's wit as Minka offers up a snarling, “Not this time, Lishy. Not this time. Congratulations on beating Carm. You just hold onto that belt until I'm ready to take it from you”

“I'm just too strong for her!!” Elisha shouts, ignoring Minka's delusional comment“The Bantamweight division is going to learn that these belts are all mine and nobody is taking these from me!!” Several other stable members offered similar sentiments while Elisha Cuthbert enjoyed the attention, looking over at the JMD belt which sat in one corner of the room and knowing she would need to defend that soon enough as well. But for now, she already knew her next opponent or in her way of thinking, her next victim – Olivia Munn.

Elisha was imagining taking Olivia Munn out for a Walk Of Shame when she was suddenly snapped out of her daydream from the sounds of loud arguing out in the hallway, hearing the loud tones of Missy Peregrym and Yvonne Strahovski. Their words were muffled, though the loud angry shouts made it clear this was not a pleasant conversation for either of them. None of the stable assembled in the room dared go closer to the door to hear the content of the argument and in a few moments, their consideration of doing so was rendered moot as they both stormed into the room.

Yvonne Strahovski was finishing off her final retort as she hissed, “I told you so, Missy.”

The room was generally silent as finally several members came over to speak to Missy and several other roster members came over to lead Yvonne over to the couch where they were preparing to watch her television show. Separating the two was crucial as the two of them glared at one another, while several members of the stable comforted a clearly distraught Missy Peregrym, still furious after her crushing loss to Jessica Biel. Yvonne Strahovski stood to another side, stating – in a none-too-quiet voice – that she'd beaten Jessica Biel and that if only Missy had accepted her help, then maybe Lookout! would still have the Lightweight belts.

It was a pretty tense moment as both Missy and Yvonne exchanged a series of pointed comments once again, several members stepping in between them.

Surprisingly, it was Vanessa Hudgens who moved to defuse the situation, “C'mon you two, sit down with us and watch Chuck. You can see Yvonne beat up that girl who was in that glowey-bike movie.”

Hilary Duff laughed, “It's called Tron: Legacy, Nessa.” as the rest of the room laughed, although it sounded a little forced.

Missy and Yvonne glared at one another, but finally separated as they headed over to the couch to settle down on opposite ends of the couch.

Missy couldn't resist getting in one last comment, not about to let Yvonne get the last word, “Just notice that this fight doesn't take place in an FCBA ring, does it?”

A loud snarl emanates from Yvonne Strahovski's lips, several roster members preemptively moving between them when suddenly Michelle Trachtenberg and Paris Hilton arrived with a case of champagne to celebrate another successful title defense by Elisha Cuthbert and an overall successful PPV.

Champagne flowed along with the compliments, with Paris Hilton declaring that she had the best roster in the FCBA. Despite some obvious discord between several members on the roster, nobody on the roster disagreed for a second as they all raised their glasses in a successful toast, showing that despite their differences, Lookout! Boxing was united.

-Lookout! Boxing

BAZZ POST FIGHT PRESS CONFERENCE

Posted by Bazz Fight Club on 12/10/2011, 11:54 pm

The crowd mills about the mansion in usual fashion, Tess and Bartholomew doing their best to find a seat far away from one Ira Fishbine, the HBO behemoths attacking the elaborate buffet table like a herd of starving sea cows and Ace Acealot smoothly chatting up Bazz girls Rhona Mitra and Bridget Regan.

Attention turns to the stage as Poindexter Del Crunchy takes the stage along with Cassie Scerbo and Olivia Wilde. Just as Pointy takes to the microphone Larry Merchant excuses himself to go to the mens room leaving a seat next to Bartholomew Algonquin Wellington Alahandro Hay which is immediately taken by Ira Fishbine after Smackey unsuccessfully tries to save the seat for Merchant and then slumps back into his seat with a heavy sigh.

Pointy barks into the mike: "Alright! Alright! Let's get this show on the road! Tess What do you have for us today?"

Tess: "Pointy what was your take on the Portman-Scerbo fight?"

Pointy: "Well I thought that it was one of if not the best fight of the PPV. Like you and some others I thought that it was a close decision for Cassie after ten but the judges felt otherwise. Then, and I want to make this perfectly clear, it was Cassie that called for extra rounds to settle the fight. It didn't turn out the way we had hoped. Portman saved her best fighting for overtime and she deserved to win. Ira you're next!"

Ira: "Yeah Pointy, Ira Fishbine here. I was wondering if you had any thoughts on Hawkeye's comments about the fight, specifically about Cassie not being able to see things because her eyes were shut?"

Ira sits down and turns to Smackey to ask what he thought of his question and finds the young reporter wearing a medical mask to protect himself from the fog like breath that Ira is emitting.

Pointy: Ira as always a provocative question. I think that both girls took a beating in this one. I mean afterall they went 13 rounds. Still I have to salute Natalie for her ability to actually research her next movie role during this fight. Which no doubt is The Happy Hooker since she spent so much of the fight on her back."

The comment brings laughter even from the buffet kings who normally wouldn't react to an earthquake as long as there's food left on the buffet table.

Pointy: "Okay who's next Smackey why don't you...young man what in the name of Great Ceasar's ghost are you wear...never mind."

Smackey: Pointy you're other fight this PPV was Olivia Wilde-Summer Glau. Obviously The Wilde Girl made a statment this time around. With the recent loss by Aly Michalka to a foreign rookie will Olivia be your top bantam going forward?"

Just as Smakey finishes with his question he spots Aly Michalka replendent in her Bazz Fight Club blue uniform looking daggers at him from the side of the room and he immediately regrets being alive let alone asking the question.

Pointy: Now Smackey we've gone over this so many times I can do this on auto replay. We don't rank our fighters within the club! There's simply no reason to do that. I fight each girl that is active in our club with equal vigor. The next bantam fight for Bazz will be Aly's because she and Olivia are equal within our club and it will be her turn. Now good luck with your attempt at getting out of the building with your spleen intact. Ace, why don't you handle the last question.

Ace: Thanks Pointy, Now there was a lot of talk regarding how Bridget Regan would have done against Charlize Theron by Bonzo and some others. Most have said that Bridget might not have been able to finish a fight with Charlize. What are your thoughts?"

Pointy: Well I actually took in the fight along with Bridget, Moon and Lis Rohm. We all agreed that it was a tremendous technical fight by two of the best FCBA fighters. I can say that despite predictions to the contrary Theron's ability and stamina have gone nowhere. She's still a force to be reckoned with. As for whether Bridget would be able to go the distance in a fight with Charlize Theron well that's why they fight the fights isn't it? I mean afterall you would have never thought that she would have been able to go the distance against Amanda and well as it has turned out for the last two fights it's been Amanda who hasn't been able to last. With that little poke back at Bonzo done let's call this for what it is, a very narrow difference between a small group of fighters in the big kid division. Now I think that it'll do it for this conference. We may have a fighter announced for the next asylum. We're tlaking with Wiz ab out it as we speak so you'll be the first to know. Now have you beasts from HBO left any of the broccoli flowers behind back there? If not there'll be hell to pay. Ah Alana tells me you haven't touched a one. That makes sense Jill Wagner's baby back ribs are a memory but anything that fives ya a chance to suvive past forty years of age is still sitting there. That's a hell of a life you gentlemen live."