Posted by Simguy on 4/13/2007, 6:54 am.

Before: “There’s too much Denise in this fight,” says Denise in preflight, “not enough Kartie. She’s in trouble and I’ll tell you why. First: I’m too strong--especially up top. I see me pushing Katie around and bullying her. Second: That frail torso of hers can’t bear up under Denise Richards-style body punching. Third: She Can’t hurt me or keep me off her--I’m gonna be walking her down all night, putting it on her. So you add it up, and Katie’s in way over her head. This kid’s gonna get SMOKED!” Holmes smoothing out long soft brown locks at the podium, taking the high road as always. “Look, Denise is a fabulously conditioned athlete,” Holmes allows, “especially for a woman her age. Never mind that her reflexes are shot, her legs are shot, and her face is a better catcher than Benito Santiago: you have to admit, those abs of hers are ripped. You know what? I’m just going to have to cope. I know I’m up against one of the Great Stomachs, and I’ll just have to deal with it. Somehow.” Pretty shrug, Katie. Richards fuming--whispering to associates while covering her table mic with a hand: “Was she being sarcastic? Was that sarcasm?” Richards in scarlet bikini, long soft blonde hair, small “Cat Paw” brand black workout gloves. Katie in elegant silver/grey bikini against dark-tanned flesh--ring connections at jug and hip; long soft brown hair down the back; small white “Cat Paw” brand workout mitts.

During R1: First minute jabbing, Katie Holmes. Midring--Holmes gliding clockwise--long-tap jabs chip down into Denise’s mouth, startling her. Richards lunging, swinging haymakers at Katie’s head--Holmes sliding back, easily legging out of range. Second minute, frustrated Richards rushes up the middle: Katie eases weight to right foot, curls her long frame into that vicious right uppercut, taking d bingo on the chin. Richards rocked on the spot: Katie cleans up a willowy left hook tart to chin, swiveling blonde head. Richards backs straight up, eyes glassy, hands down: Kate strides forward, pouring the long right hand to chi and DENISE GOES DOWN! Richards sent heavily to her back near the ropes--she thrashes about, quickly rising, but swaying slightly for her 8. Katie patient, knows D will try to even up the knockdown: Richards rushes in, gets caught the very same curling right uppercut from thoughtful Katie. RICHARDS A-SWOON! D hurt and swaying--Katie shifts her feet, curls a bolo right uppercut to chin again, puts the hook on top and DRTOPS RICHARDS TO HER BACK! Poor Denise lying in rubble, shaking her head, rolling painfully over right hip to struggle back to her feet--famous Denise Richards durability on show as she bravely shrugs off Katie’s power. Holmes sees it, respects it--rest of the way sees Katie box Denise dizzy--circling and jabbing Richards’ face at will. Shutout Katie Holmes--she’s all pretty and demure padding back to her corner, eyes down cast as she goes over the near-perfect round in her head.

R2: Richards shakes it off--bats her mitts together, gets after Katie Holmes covering up temples, absorbing batting rights and lefts against her coastlines, then spinning away--Katie letting Richards spend up some money  and get reckless. Minute mark, Holmes spots the openings: she walks Denise into vicious counter-right uppercut off the back (right) foot--cleaning up with the follow on hook to put Richards wobbly butt. D staggering around--but once again--sturdy blonde shakes off Katie’s power--Richards trudging forward late, pressurizing Holmes around the ring. Katie covering up whenever Richards encroaches--Denise with stiff, crooked-arm delivery beats those flanks, shaking Katie’s slender chassis at the bell.

R3: Katie chipping jabs--just dropping ‘em over Richards’ chest-high guard as Denise faces into poke. D following Katie around, looking to press up the middle and close--Richards not cutting off the ring, giving her lanky foe space to operate. Holmes spreading Denise outl using the ring, touching her poke--Katie just channeling her blonde into the right hand, either uppercuts or crosses, Richards willing to absorb , taking firm Katie touches for the privilege of getting to Holmes’ chest: Richards enjoying some thudding-good spots, pummeling Katie’s ribs as Holmes covers up earmuff. Keen observers note that many Richards haymakers are doomed before they start as Katie’s movement mess jujus enough with Denise’s balance and timing throughout, robbing Richards of concussive power, Final minute mostly Katie--her legs and jab enough to give her points. Holmes jabs Denise’s forehead, leans in, straps D a lanky right/left on the wasitline, then slides out behind another jab as Richards is left fuming at the bell.

R4: Demise having her moments--walking through Katie’s limber artillery and banging away lusty, punishing Holmes’ tanned ribs, toned tummy. Katie keeping her back clear of ropes--never giving Richards more than a few clobbering shots at a time--brunette covering up well, moving well, keeping the initiative with that long, cool jab of hers, Holmes lanky about the ring--wide stance, clockwise rotation--she’s beguiling Richards, answering Denise’s hard muscle with finesse and guile. Katie will adjust distance, work in and out on D, feign retreat in hopes of walking over-aggressive blonde onto more right uppercuts. Katie lashing limber right/lefts against Denise’s proud abdominals--good cutting licks, these--Katie getting em off the jab coming in, covering herself with the jab going out. Richards outclasses--stronger than Katie, but unable to make her strength the decisive element in the fight through 4.

R5: Crowd groans as Denise wanders into a crouching Holmes right uppercut: Katie really establishing that punch tonight--getting the step-back perfect; loading up the back foot perfect; curling her body into the shot, clipping Ds chin just perfect. Richards forlorn, wobbly butt--terribly vulnerable to Katie’s lanky hook-chaser tic-toc. Holmes eyes narrow--she sees D’s desperately hurt, but doesn’t rush. Katie pivots right, reaches th jab to Denise’s mouth--gets a wave back from woozy, angered Denise. Katie stoops, reaches her jab into Richards’ midriff PAK! Slides back, slides back as Richards stumbles forward, RIGHT UPPERCUT, KATE HOLMES! Katie getting it AGAIN--just a gorgeous counter, given extra power by Richards forward momentum--THERE’S THE HOOK! Tic-Toc combination--lanky and accurate--Richards head toggled back and forth; she goes limp, just seeping stunned to the canvas on all fours. Katie strides by--staring down past her left shoulder as Denise’s trembling back. Richards fights her way up AGAIN at 9, but the ref’s seen enough. Official waves this thing off, hugs Denise who immediately begins to blubber in protest--TKO5 in clinical fashion--willowy Katie Holmes.

After; Whoa, Katie wowing pundits and fans alike with perhaps her most dominant prize fight as a professional. Holmes cool demeanor never wavering through the night--calm under pressure; cold-blooded on the attack--Katie Holmes just went about reducing Denise Richards with almost chilling precision. “Boxing’s not about how tuff and buff you are,” Holmes shrugs in post fight--face unblemished. “It’s hitting without being hit in return--that’s what it’s all about. I’m not the biggest puncher in the world, but I’m getting girls to cooperate with me by using my legs and walking them into harm. The small gloves help too--if I had used regulation lightweight gloves tonight, I probably wouldn’t have stopped Denise--but she agreed to the Cat paws, so that was good. Really, I couldn’t be happier with the way things went. We worked hard in camp on getting me off to a good start, because we knew we needed to get Denise’s respect right away--and I came out and dropped her twice in the first! I hurt her again in the second just to prove I could, and after that--I felt she was mine.” Denise really distraught, inconsolable, face in gloves, elbows on her knees as she sits and shudders with tears on her stool. Most nights, D’s in over her head, fighting heroic-but-doomed battles against girls too big and strong for her: tonight, she’s utterly dismantled by someone she felt she could dominate, and that always hurts extra.

Reposted by Archer 12/25/11.