Posted by Simguy on 3/30/2007, 7:30 am.

Before: Jones licking her lips at the prospect of Rachel--CZJ ominously and prominently displaying her black Victoria’s Secret Body Saddle ™ on her side of the dais--signaling her intentions to one and all. “To be frank,” Jones purrs at the podium, “I wanted to fight this appalling little tart when I watched her battle Theron. She--it’s Rachel isn’t it? Rachel was making these exquisite moaning noises whenever Charlize thrashed her to the midsection and I must admit--I was taken by the sound. I want to make this girl sing like that again--call me a maestro if you must.” Nichols fuming--not used to the depths of cruelty and meanspirited motivations of a Zeta-Jones--but she’s not about to back down from it. “I can understand Charlize taking advantage of  me after our last fight.” Rachel says, lower lip quivering just a bit. “But Catherine? Catherine swoops in and rides me into the ground--for what? Wjat did that prove? All I know is, I don’t care what your last name is--I’m going to stand up and make you pay if you try to bully me. Catherine Zeta Jones may not know my name now, but she sure will AFTER the fight!” Jones in yellow bikini, white gloves. Rachel in sturdy black bikini, bra style top; white gloves; slick puncher’s ponytail.

During R1: Rachel to Catherine’s jugs with jabs at the open--an awkward, pistoning, stamping series of left hands bringing a shocked put to Jones’ lips. Rache teeth bared, pivoting to her left--she pours in a gangly right cross to Jones’ mouth, turning Cathy’s head--comes back a useful hook in Jones’ tits to emphatically take the first minute. Second minute harder, but Rachel still a little quicker off the mark than Jones--spritizing
Out a busy jab, stepping clockwise. Keeping Jones turning midring. Catherine scowling thoughtfully--left hand at her tummy,. Right at her chest--she’s dipping to her right to roll shots--just trying to step into position and release something heavy. Down the stretch, Jones finally finds the mark--rolling a pushy something heavy. Down the stretch, Joines finally finds the mark--rolling a pushy one-two from Rachel; coming back a firm right hand on the mouth that switches blonde’s ponytail side to side--Nichols forced onto the defensive, stepping back wide-eyed. Rache using her legs to run the clock, gets out of the round with frisky points.

R2: Jones all warmed up--encroaching more purposefully now, dipping at the waist to reach jabs into Rachel’s breadbasket as the blonde is jabbing herself. Jones getting her footwork down--she’s able to step-to and hook, catching Rachel on her mouth, backing her up all wide-eyed. Jones rolling to her right to slip Rachel’s rights, then answering back sneaky, blunt hard right hand counters--Rachel fielding them on her chin or chest, but backing away upon impact, taking some of the sting off. All CZJ as she hunts Rachel down--but Nichols showing a frisky leg, stepping in either direction, ponytail a-tossing as she keeps her distance. Jones backs points, but can’t bring buig guns to bear in any consistent fashion.

R3: Rachel standing her ground in spots--teeth bared as she ratchets away rigid lefts and rights, giving Jones’ face an breasts a brisk scrubbing. Catherine crouching her way through it all: crouching to jab at the body, then over the top with right hands, finishing up hooks. Nichols backing away. Extending her arms to push at Jones as she hounds Rachel to the apron, starts to focus on right/left roundhouses to the waist and ribcage: Nichols grunting, folding himself up behind her gloves and absorbing as her legs start to stiffen.

R4: Rache tries a right hand at the open: Jones rolls it with her left shoulder, comes back a blunt right onna chops--RACHEL’S HURT! Nichols; knees bennnnnd, then straighten--she wobble-steps  around, desperately hurt: Jones hops in off blonde left shoulder, batting sidearm hooks to head to chase Rachel ropeside. Siege of Rachel Nichols begins in earnest--Catherine squaring away big-girl, using her left shoulder/extended left elbow to prop and nudge: brutal, thudding beat down ensues, brunette to blonde. Heartless stuff, methodical pace--Catherine bashing at Rachel, then pushing into her, making sure there’s no escape. Jones unleashing her thickest work here: hoisted right uppercuts off the right foot; left uppercuts off the left foot; sidearm right hands sloshed in behind Rachel’s left elbow; biting hooks taking Rachel in her paunch or flank. Poor Rachel lips parted, eyes closed--she’s drooping forward behind her gloves, grimly standing her ground: Jones allowed to simply sledgehammer away on a tilting, reeling, ruined young girl. Jones back, shoulders, blow all glistening with the sweat of her labour--she’s exhausting hard through pursed lips, putting leverage on every shot. But at the bell, Rachel Nichols is till standing--shabby and shopworn to be sure--but standing, making defiant eye contact with a furious CZJ.

R5: Rachel badly loosened--frisky footwork gone, now replaced with a plodding, flat footed gait as she steps-to, leans in close with gloves and head to crowd CZJ. Jones working diligently, deliberately--she’s definitely getting her pace tonight, just laying in mouth-on-shoulder midring, using her body weight and shoulder to control and position her foe. Right uppercuts off the right foot really picking Rachel up--just a short, muscular thrust from Jones, jerking up in between Nichols’ mitts, shaking her up: Catherine can put the hook on top if she wishes, then chop the hook downstairs as Nichols droops forward. CJZ just managing Rachel’s weight, walking her around, processing her here. Late the round, Jones with that short right uppercut jolts Rachel between her mitts, finally shutting off Nichols’ legs: pretty blonde flops to all fours, face bedazzled, Jones stalks off, tossing glossy black locks back off her shoulders, reclining with arms outstretched atop ropes in neutral corner as Rachel takes her 8.

R6-8: Jones pushes to finish in these rounds: Rachel won’t have it. Spirited stuff from Nichols--much of with her back to the ropes, but she shoulders on taking a terrible pasting, but taking it well, answering back in spots. Not a lot on Rachel’s punches--just swiping little hooks or uppercuts from her raised guard, nipping at Jones in between Catherine’s pounding sequences. Jones guilty of being too methodical perhaps: Nichols getting shelled, but tensing up to receive the predictable stroke, taking the punches well as a result of anticipating them. Nichols peek-a-boo defense subjecting her to a terrible quantity of punishment, but she’s usually blocking opr partially blocking much of it on her arms or guard. Jones the beefier woman, has her girl pinned down--CZJ content to maintain her position and wallop away--even if Nichols appears to have worked out a survival strategy.

R9: More plucky Rachel lounging on the ropes, covered up tight, but scraping and scouring back at Jones in spots--being very pesky toe-to-toe. Catherine frowning, baring her teeth as she muscles up and rips a right hand to Rachel’s flat midriff, or twists hips-right to drag in hooks-to-ribs: Nichols grunting, sagging, but never giving in completely as Jones continues to spend energy. Right uppercut off the right foot Jones’ most effective punch in close, picking Nichols up and often brushing her back-- late the round. Rachel is badly shaken by a such a shot, forced to clinch desperately to keep from going down, Jones warned for throwing her left shoulder into Rachel’s teeth during these moments as brunette tries anything to disengage.

R10: If it were Rachel’s strategy to tire Jones out, mission accomplished: Catherine’s mouthbreathing, not bringing the fight to Nichols as hot as it had been. Rachel bruised and puffy--well worked over tonight--but look at her come forward! Rache snarling as she prods her jab at Catherine’s presented left shoulder, then down into hat bulging left breast, then up onto that regal left cheek Right crosses from Rachel? You bet--partially slipped by Jones as she rolls to her right--but Catherine isn’t coming back with that vicious counter-right the way she had been. Nichols stepping nice job from outside, suppressing the bigger woman. Jones sullen, tired, bending at the waist in a closed stance: Rachel leans in, drags her hardest punch of the night--a right hand loud against Jones’ lower back/hip--then steps away feisty. Jones straightening with a wince, shying away--the kid just kidney-punched Catherine Zeta Jones! Like that to the bell--Jones too tired to effectively close--Rachel too beat up to do anything more than harass--but a defiant Nichols wins the 10th round. Comes back UD10 Catherine Zeta Jones.

After: Rachel denies the post fight celebration by finishing on her feet--officials hovering as Rachel chirps after the fact, galling a sullen CZJ with ingénue cheek. 4th and 5th rounds saw Catherine shell young Rachel with every punch in the Zeta Jones arsenal--a terrible drubbing to be sure, but one well-weathered by nubile blonde. Outgunned tonight, Rachael simply stiffened her backbone, refused to quit and earned herself some distinctive in denying Jones satisfaction through 10.

Reposted by Archer 12/26/11.