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31 December 2011 Brooklyn Decker vs Heidi Klum

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years ago

Brooklyn Decker 01.jpg Heidi Klum.jpg

"SEASON'S BEATINGS AT THE ASYLUM" PPB

(Site: The Asylum Arena. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on 12/31/2011, 8:00 pm

BEFORE:

"Decker isn't the next big thing," Liz Hurley says. "She's just another SI model who got lucky a couple of times."

"Decker is nothing special," opines Cindy Crawford. "Heidi's just average herself, and I wouldn't be surprised if she wins. Not at all."

"I'm tired of hearing about how Brooklyn's the top gun among models, big and strong enough to fight welter," Rebecca Romijin says. "Well, who's she beaten, really? Not Liz. Not Cindy or Elle or Tyra. And sure as hell not Big Becky."

"Brooklyn's gone along long enough unchecked," says Heidi with a gorgeous smile. "It's time that gets taken care of. And the ladies are all counting on me to do it. I'm not going to let them down. I'm going to PUT Decker down instead."

"Oh, they'll all be at ringside," Brooklyn says with a hint of an upturn at the corners of her lips. "All hoping Heidi can save them. Sorry, ladies. Angie couldn't do it. Heidi can't do it. Brookie's on clean up duty. And you're all bound for the scrap heap."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside, and you've got the cream of the fashion world here for this one. Banks, Crawford, Hurley, Ireland, Hunter, Romijn, MacPherson, Schiffer, just to name a few, all here to watch the lady who's on her way to the ring now to the strains of 'Wonderland', Heidi Klum! Klum makes her way to the ring, drops the robe, and shows off a navy and white number, and that may not be a Playmate body, Mac, but it's surely a supermodel body!"

McCarthy: "Heidi in shape, no question, and I think she's got a chance here. Decker's got to be favored, but Klum can box and I'm not convinced Brooklyn's more than hype, just like most Front Street...ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

O'Dell: "I suspect Mac is reacting to Decker's music coming over the sound system...as the lights go down and a laser show begins...the familiar strains of 'Also Sprach Zarathustra'..."

McCarthy: "Ric Flair is rolling over in his grave..."

Tess: "Ric Flair is ALIVE..."

O'Dell: "Decker into the ring, helped off with the robe, and there's that yellow number..."

Tess: "And any Playmate in HISTORY would kill for THAT body..."

McCarthy: "I don't think Tess' eyes have adjusted to the lights coming back on yet if she thinks Decker has a better body than ME..."

O'Dell: "Uh oh..."

McCarthy: "DON'T MAKE ME GET OUT OF THIS CHAIR, DECKER! I'LL SMACK THAT SMILE OFF YOUR FACE! I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU, YOU OVERRATED..."

Gigli II

Starring:

Rick Springfield
Christopher Atkins
Delta Burke

O'Dell: "SETTLE THE F**K DOWN..."

Ted McGinley

And
Margot Kidder

Tess: "Who knew they made Gili II?"

O'Dell: "Who knew Margot Kidder was still alive? Now, we're back at Asylum Arena here in Philly, and, to catch up the fans, Ms. Decker, apparently knowing Mac's proclivity to...shall we say...critique the bodies of the competitors, gave Mac a little personal pose down..."

Tess: "As if to say, 'My body is way hotter than yours, Old Lady'..."

McCarthy: "She did NOT..."

O'Dell: "Easy, Mac. I REALLY don't want to find out whether Kidder's love interest is Springfield, McGinley or Atkins..."

Tess: "Or which one of the three murdered their agent after seeing the script for this..."

O'Dell: "And there's the bell for the first and Klum right after Brooke with a quick flurry, but nothing landed. Decker bangs back with a left-right, hooks the body, and Heidi ties up. Referee breaks and Decker back to work, thumping jabs home, backing Klum up, forcing her out of her stance."

McCarthy: "Heidi needs to get some space, work outside, use the jab. She can outbox Decker."

O'Dell: "Theoretically, perhaps, but it's not happening here. Brooklyn shelling Klum from the outside and working in. Finding the range again and again with the left, dropping the occasional right. Heidi not able to do much of anything but retreat and cover up."

McCarthy: "Needs to let her hands go. She's not getting off at all. Decker's having it all her way."

O'Dell: "And that's the bell and an excellent first round for Brooklyn Decker."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "On to the second now, and it's Decker coming forward this time, behind that big left jab. Using the right to work the body now, slamming them home to the ribs and lats, Klum forced back, covering up...camera shot right there of Liz Hurley screaming for Heidi to do something, but Klum's forced over to the defensive..."

McCarthy: "Heidi's getting pre-empted just like last round. Decker keeps getting off first."

O'Dell: "And she's landing consistently, sticking that straight left home, landing rights to the head now, backing Heidi up, forcing her to cover up. Klum clinching now. Referee breaks them and Decker right back to work. Lands a nice flurry there! Klum looking dazed. Decker letting the hands go and HEIDI SINKS TO HER KNEES! Right hook sent her down, but I don't think that did most of the damage, Mac!"

McCarthy: "No, it wasn't one big punch it was a bunch of punches adding up..."

O'Dell: "Banks at ringside screaming at Klum to get up! Heidi's going to beat the count! Up at seven. She takes the mandatory eight and on comes Decker, landing a couple of stiff jabs. Heidi covers up and there's the bell. Another big round for Brooklyn Decker, Mac!"

McCarthy: "She's up 20-17 with the knockdown. Far from over, but she's dictating terms."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "On to the third now, and Decker again working forward. Heidi banging back this time, and look at that exchange, Mac! Both girls landed some good shots in there!"

McCarthy: "Heidi figures she has to punch for respect right now and I agree. She needs to get some space to box."

O'Dell: "Heidi able to land the jab some now, looking to work off of that. Decker's left still finding the mark as well. Good back and forth stuff this round...good right from Decker backed Klum up right there...and Brooke following up with a flurry, forcing Heidi back. Klum covering up, taking work to the body now, Decker getting off lusty as the bell rings."

McCarthy: "That was Klum's best round so far and she still lost it. She competed for awhile, but Decker took over down the stretch and she's now up 30-26. That's a nice lead this early."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Fourth round underway now. Models in the front row buzzing about what they're seeing...and there's a nice combination from Heidi! Good, solid right hand landed in there. Decker fires back with a left, but Klum ties up, smothering the response."

McCarthy: "Heidi working in the clinch. Banging the ribs and lats before the referee breaks them."

O'Dell: "Heidi right back in tight, tying Brook up, holding and hitting, getting warned by the referee and then breaking clean."

McCarthy: "Interesting change of tactics for Klum. Not getting anything done outside, so she's going to work in close."

O'Dell: "Both women banging away in the clinch. Klum wrapping around Decker's head with the left and banging to the belly with the right. Referee pulls her arm down as the bell rings."

McCarthy: "Heidi's round. Frustrated the kid that round. Not sure if she can keep it up, but she narrowed the gap a bit. I've got it 39-36 now."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "The fifth round is underway now and Heidi landing from the outside this time. Finding the range with that left hand!"

McCarthy: "Klum has an excellent jab and I've been wondering where it's been. She needs to get to middle distances and not stay on the end of Decker's punches to be effective with it."

O'Dell: "Right now, it's in Decker's face. Heidi's moving now, circling behind the left, landing it with brutal consistency. Decker not able to find angles to punch from now. Heidi moving her around with that left hand."

McCarthy: "She's lumping the kid up with it and they're loving it in the front row. Get a camera on Hunter and MacPherson. They're enjoying themselves out there right now."

O'Dell: "And Heidi enjoying herself in the ring. Drops a nice right hand off yet another jab as the bell rings. Great round for Klum, who may have worked her way back in this thing!"

McCarthy: "48-46. It's tightening up."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "We're into the second half of the fight now and Heidi with a nice flurry stung Decker! Brooklyn fires right back rocking Klum! Heidi lands the jab and slams a hook to the ribs, Decker digs body with the left and hooks the side of the head with the right. Klum tying up now and both women digging body in the clinch!"

McCarthy: "This is about both women wanting to impose will, Jenny, and if one of them manages it, she'll grab control of this fight!"

O'Dell: "The front row comes alive as Heidi lights Decker up with a three-punch combination. Brooklyn fires back with a straight left and a hard right hook that sent Klum back a step. Heidi snaps back Decker's head with a left, Brooke buries a hook in the belly and bangs an uppercut to the chin. Both women clinching now, both working the body with their free hand. Referee breaks. Decker gets off quickly with a left-right that stung Klum! Heidi with a hard left in response and that's the bell!"

McCarthy: "Heck of a round. I've got it for Decker, but it's close. 58-55 now. But, if the judges saw this one for Klum it's a one point fight."

ROUND SEVEN:

O'Dell: "Back to action in the seventh, and Klum fighting again from middle distances now. Working the jab. Looking to drop rights off of it. Decker stalking, but not pressuring really. Working her own left hand instead. Both girls seem content to box this stanza."

McCarthy: "After the last one, I don't blame them. They can both use a break."

O'Dell: "Heidi effective with that jab. Not as much as she was in the fifth, but still sticking it consistently. Decker finding the range as well, but Klum maybe a little busier, a little more accurate, a little more effective from this distance."

McCarthy: "This is what I thought we'd see a lot more of from Klum. She's good technically, more experienced than Decker. This is her fight."

O'Dell: "Clock winding down the final seconds and both ladies still working the left. That's the bell. Close one, Mac."

McCarthy: "Gave it to Klum. 67-65, but, again. Close. Judges might have gone the other way."

ROUND EIGHT:

O'Dell: "On to the eighth now and Heidi found something she liked in the seventh and she's right back to it, working the jab for points at mid range."

McCarthy: "Decker not having any, though, pressuring this time, but Heidi tying her up."

O'Dell: "The front row loving it as Klum sticks the jab again off the break. Decker not content to work her own jab from outside, trying to get in behind it, but being held when she does so. Referee breaks them again...NICE right, Heidi! Buckled Decker's knees with it. Brooke wings back, but Heidi ties up again and bangs the lats."

McCarthy: "Decker just being outsmarted here, which, frankly, isn't tough to do..."

O'Dell: "Are you choking, Tess?"

Tess: "I'm fine...just got something caught in my throat."

O'Dell: "And Klum lands one more solid right and this round is over. No doubt Heidi gets it, which means it's down to a point on your card, right Mac?"

McCarthy: "76-75, but, remember, two of those rounds could have gone either way, so the judges could have Decker wth a bigger lead or actually have Heidi ahead!"

ROUND NINE:

O'Dell: "Decker getting some instruction in the corner between rounds, as Klum's managed to renegotiate terms the last couple of stanzas...."

Tess: "She's lucky Neve's not there or the instruction would have a more colorful tone..."

McCarthy: "The only thing colorful about Campbell will be the welts Fox puts on her tonight..."

Tess: "Care to make a friendly wager, Mac?"

O'Dell: "There's the bell and let's concentrate on THIS fight for the moment. Heidi looking to that left again, but Decker stops her cold with a big three-punch salvo! Brookie D sticking that big left, hooks the ribs off of it, driving Heidi back. Forcing Klum to cover up."

McCarthy: "Heidi needs to get back into range where she can work that jab, but she can't get past Brooke's glove."

O'Dell: "Decker SHELLING Klum, landing hard lefts, dropping in right hands. Heidi in full retreat, can't do anything but cover up."

McCarthy: "Front row not looking happy, Jenny."

O'Dell: "But the Front Street corner most certainly is. Decker with another salvo! Heidi on her heels. Bell rings and it couldn't be soon enough for Klum, who's hearing it from Supermodel Row as she goes back to her corner!"

McCarthy: "Decker's round wide. I've got it 86-84 right now. If I'm right, Klum needs a big tenth."

ROUND TEN:

O'Dell: "Final round underway and Klum looking to close, but, again, Decker's got the naval guns going! Left hands finding the mark, stopping Heidi, not letting her get in range to work her own stuff."

McCarthy: "She can't get off the defensive. Back on her heels, covering up, trying to block and dodge that jab. Nice right hand follow by Decker. That one got Heidi's attention."

O'Dell: "Decker clinical right now, moving Heidi around with the jab, keeping her at bay, fitting in rights, this is good stuff, Mac!"

Tess: "Neve says Brooke has as much raw ability as anyone Front Street has..."

McCarthy: "Which tells you all you need to know about the talent level in Dancing Hooker land..."

O'Dell: "I suspect Klum might agree with Tess' assessment right now. Decker with a good right hand lead and a chopping left hook that shook Heidi! Klum covering up again, backed into the ropes. Decker not piling on though, not worrying about the stoppage, just keeps the jab pumping as the bell rings. Excellent round for Decker, Mac."

McCarthy: "I don't think there's going to be any doubt about the decision, even if you give Klum the close ones, Decker gets it..."

O'Dell: "And you're right on, Mac. The winner by UD10, the 21st Century Goddess, Brooklyn Decker!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Well, looks like the Supermodels are going to stay for the rest of the card..."

McCarthy: "None of them went to check on Heidi. Just looking right past her as she leaves the ring. Didn't get the job done for us. We don't know you anymore. Brutal."

O'Dell: "And now let's go to the woman who ALWAYS gets the job done for us, Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I'm here with Brooklyn Decker and..."

Brooklyn: "Hey, what's with all the long faces out there in the front row? Hurley, did you just notice the birthdate on your driver's license? Crawford, are you thinking back to when YOU had a body like this? Oh, that's right, you never did, mini-rack! Schiffer, you thinking maybe it's time to hang those gloves up for good? Don't worry, security. They aren't coming in here. They KNOW better. Nice try, ladies. Nice try helping Heidi out. Too bad that didn't work out for you. Too bad, because The 21st Century Goddess has a whole box of trash bags and she's cleaning up all you 20th Century has-beens. And speaking of old ladies from another century, you know where to find me, McCarthy. But the beatdown I'll give you won't just be in the ring, like the ones you got from Munn and Poppy, because I'll beat your wrinkled a** at the weigh in and CRUSH you at the disrobe..."

O'Dell: "We're going to commercial right now...I don't CARE if it's HBO...run a freaking Wheaties ad or something!"