Posted  by Simguy 8-4-06 (Thanks to Simguy for this repost)

HMK clout getting Brittany back on PPV with a huge Oscar-winning payday - Daniel making the most of her Connelly-busting exploits against a woman who's owned the blonde on apartment carpet. "They've wrestled a lot in Celebrity Apartment," notes one BLONDE! Mag commentator, "and Brittany's never done well against Catherine. Jones usually defends the bed, and Daniel gets bogged down, usually submitting in between Catherine's thighs - but things could be very different in a boxing ring with Brittany's speed and striking ability." Significant size differential - Jones taller and heavier than Brittany - but Daniel swaggering at the podium, can't wait to get her mitts on Catherine. "That fat stomach of hers isn't going to do her any good in a boxing ring," Daniel predicts. "I'm going to run circles around her, bust her up, embarrass her - the poor thing won't know what hit her!" Jones arriving late to press conferences, barely showing up for promotional events - CZJ every inch hollywood royalty, refusing to acknowledge her bit-part, B-level opponent. "She's very pretty when she quits," Jones purrs. "That's really all I've ever seen of her." Red bikini, twist tie top - CZJ. Sporty royal blue bikini (Club Dread) Brittany. White gloves both vixens. Daniel up to her old tricks: shows up naked as a jaybird for the weigh-in, wearing nothing but that cheeky grin as Jones crosses her arms and fumes in the wings.

Rd 1: Daniel springy-legged, obviously smaller than Jones - blonde feinting, stepping right - left hand at her hip, right cocked at her chest. Jones eyes narrowed, turning, prowling to cut off the ring. Catherine probing up the middle, but Daniel very quick, sidestepping left, cuffing Jones a playful hook (palm down delivery) upside the head as blonde scoots to safety. Midway through, Brittany's been quick-jabbing tummy and ducking out of range - now she feints, comes over the top with that vicious lead right hand, catching Jones and startling her to chin. Catherine rattled - Brittany reloads/thrusts another right hand to chin and DROPS JONES TO HER HEINIE! Catherine sputtering, scrambling up: Daniel exulting at the knockdown, grinning wildly, playing to the crowd - she's got Jones absolutely LIVID after 8. CZJ rushing, trying to corner Brittany - Daniel neatly pointing her left shoulder, easing onto her right (back) foot to slip shots, sidestepping right, then shooting those lead right hands to Catherine's breasts. Shocking, clean crosses to jug, then Brit has the good sense and discipline to hop away from the receipt. Bell: Jones blushing crimson - shutout, dropped and embarrassed by her nimble foe. Daniel crowing taunts from behind the ref - stooping forward, butt back as she gives Jones the gears with maddening facial expressions. Ref warns Brittany for too much talk, earning an impatient "what-ever" frown from the blonde.

Rd 2: Rambunctious Daniel jumps in to do harm...Jones has made her reads, makes the blonde pay for arrogance. Pre-emptive jabs, counterhooks from Jones as she fades Brittany, walks her into shots. Catherine's right hand not as darting-fast as Brittany's, but Jones a master at disguising the shot, keeping it short n' sneaky - midway through she beats Brittany to right hands, buckling blonde's knees in trade. CRISP follow-up hook - Jones to Daniel - Brittany's head swivelling with a corona of sweat, mouth in a startled 'o', hands stacked right-on-left at her waist. Jones steps right: hook to crotch; hook to crotch - Jones arching her back, keeping right mitt at her chest as she levers these beauties in - then snug hook to liver sends Daniel wilting, cringing to all fours. Ref pushes seething CZJ back - British eyes blazing: Daniel snivelling with hurt, shabbily getting to her feet - she's given time to recover from Jones' blatant trunk punching. Upon resumption - Brittany still sniffing back tears, hopping the perimeter: Jones cold-eyed, stalking, coming up short on powerful hooks and crosses as Daniel keeps her distance to the bell.

Rd 3: Brittany's got herself together - nice strong stance, furious frown as she points her left shoulder, right hand under her chin, left at her hip. Jones snarling, jabs to Brit's chest and tries the right hand up top: Daniel easing onto her right (back) foot and bending at the waist neatly slips the heat. Brittany stepping right, feinting Jones, clawing hooks across those Oscar winning breasts, jabbing Jones' mouth - perplexing stuff from Daniel as she fades, sidesteps, slips and counters early. Brittany cute off her front (left) foot - shooting little straight lead rights, darting jabs - just pesky and bedevilling, always ready to bail out rather than engage Jones toe-to-toe. Midway through, Daniel feints, leans in with her left hand dangling and licks a SHATTERING whip-armed hook across Catherine's baffled face - putting Jones spellbound on her heels. Jump-in lead right (Daniel's favourite punch) finds Jones' mouth - Brittany doubles it up, punching the right hand square between the eyes, driving Catherine ropeside at the stagger. Jones covers up earmuff, eats another of those rising, licking low-slung hooks from Brittany off the face - gorgeous willowy delivery on these shots really busting Catherine's chops. Jones reclining into the ropes, eyelashes fluttering and DANIEL ROMPS TO JUG! Crowd roaring to it's feet as decadent British jug is put to the glove - Daniel hup-hup-hupping as only she can, furiously rotating her shoulders to dip-n'-chug up in there. Jones machine-gunned up against the ropes - gumshield spilling off her teeth: CATHERINE'S CRYING! Jones groaning, turning herself sideways to the ropes, right hand covering her ear/head, left shoulder in the strands as she cowers under blonde assault. DANIEL'S ALL IN! Brittany issuing JOYOUS beatdown punches - straight lefts and rights, pulsing in as fast as she can propel them - taking Jones in the ear, shoulder - and THE REF JUMPS IN! Good Lord - TKO3 Brittany Daniel!

After: Daniel bounding around the ring, leaping into the arms of her trainer - blonde star of Club Dread suddenly finds herself the conqueress of BOTH Jennifer Connelly AND Catherine Zeta Jones! "I won a championship at lightweight with my blistering speed and skills," an excited Daniel gushes in postfight, "and I knew I could turn on the jets and leave Jones gasping tonight. Some bigger girls are really vulnerable to my explosive attacks: Catherine's definitely one of them and I TUNED HER UP! Did you see me go to her rack? Ohmigod - she TOTALLY quit once I started mugging her jugs - I completely unleashed on her and she just couldn't take it!" On and on - Daniel SO excited and thrilled with her own performance. Carmella Decesare sitting crossed-armed and purse-lipped at ringside a little less thrilled - she's clearly baffled at HMK support of the flamboyant blonde.