Posted by Simguy on 11 March 2005

Before: Return of the Asian Assassin - Jaime Pressly one of the most successful blondes ever against top Asian talent - she's handled Liu and Hu at their respective peaks and looking to make a firm statement at bantam with a return engagement. "Busting up Kelly Hu still means something," breezes Pressly in prefight. "I'm not sure I'd get the same pub from waxing Dushku, Fishel or even Blalock - people still think of Kelly as 'The Woman' at 120. I'm don't want to just win this fight - or even just hurt Kelly: I want to embarrass her." Hu crossing her arms - tight black t-shirt - cutting her eyes across the dais and shaking her head slowly: she's not amused at brazen Krusher entrant - makes no bones about her intentions. "Pressly's an invader - a hobbyist - a pretender. I may just run a little bump-n-slug on Jaime at the ropes - I might just have to bully her a little. I'll dress this little slut up and make her regret ever calling out my name in public." Jaime in silver bikini - black leather bikini, slick low ponytail Kelly.

During R1: Brushing, winging blows - Kelly turning on a sizzling hook, grazing Jaime's nose, ducking down low on follow through: Pressly answering back a vicious hook, missing over top - both girls bounding to their respective rights, well out of range, circling to regroup. Thrust and parry - girls used to being able to jump in from well outside and land lead power - neither able to against this particular opponent. Late the round, Pressly slips a Hu lead hook, answers back a clubbing right back o' the head - Kelly sent staggering forward, knees a little buzzed. One clean punch enough to win an otherwise jittery round.

R2: Jaime a liiiitle more aggressive - waving a jab at Kelly's face, then sticking it hard to her tummy. Hu in her closed stance, right at her cheek, left low, weight on her right foot as she slides, drags her left foot, looks to counter Pressly with catspaw hooks. No clean connects, but Pressly's aggression makes the round.

R3: Exact replay of the first: girls feinting, circling, twitching and posing, then trying to score with lead hooks and lead right hands they get on other fighters - not happening tonight. Kelly the 'aggressor' per-se, coming forward, pressuring Pressly along the perimeter, but down the stretch, it's Jaime landing the only significant punch. Jamie sliding right, dipping at the waist - she slips a right, slips a left and gets a short, swiping hook to Hu's chin: Kelly's knees buckle - she's panicky and loose, flopping up and down at the waist as Pressly whiffs on slicing lefts and rights.

R4: Both corners want more jabs - points could be scarce tonight. Both women using a flutter-jab to face to set up a stiffer stick to body: it's almost the only thing that's there for either girl on a consistent basis. Both looking to hook off the stick - brushing or missing overtop. Midway through, Hu looks her jab into Jaime's tummy, feinting the blonde, then turning on a sneaky lead right bingo on the temple - PRESSLY'S HURT! Jaime sent jitterbugging to her right, shook up but still defensively sound - she legs away from a tentative Hu follow up as Kelly swipes air. Hu content to stalk, jab to the body, then bound clear of receipts: again, one clean punch enough to carry the round.

R5: Kelly does the unthinkable: lands TWO hard punches this round. First minute it's a mop up hook after her lead jab and right hand miss - Pressly caught clean on chops leaning back, sent sputtering into ropes all wide-eyed astonishment. Final minute, Hu cutting off the ring, jabbing to the body, rolling Jaime's punches with the left shoulder - she times a tidy right counter over a missed Pressly left hook, buzzing temple and putting JP momentarily wobbly butt. Again, hurt Jaime able to leg, slip and slide her way free of the follow up - Hu can't, or won't, pile on.

R6: Most consistent round of the fight for either fight: Hu the boss bell to bell. Tummy jab fixing Pressly a little, stabilizing her - Kelly able to get partial hooks off the stick and setting down on hot right hand clean-up sock. Jaime stung a hard hook to jaw early, then settles into a cutey-pie pocket defense - she's mirroring Hu's own closed stance, rolling punches with her left shoulder, sliding back, bending at the waist. Hu getting off, not landing, but she's the only one throwing as Pressly skirts the ring. Jaime hears it for the first time ever from a Krusher trainer during the break: "What the hell are you DOING? This girl can't take your punches, Jaime - you get in there and HURT her!"

R7: Jaime responds - doubling the jab head and body, scooting in to get her own quick-snap hook, then hanging around to hook Hu's ribs. Kelly's closed stance impenetrable to right hands, but hooks are landing, tidying up her ribs, backing her off, rushing her. Midway through - Pressly with a stomping fencer's thrust goes jab/right hand, missing as Hu lurches into a slip, but Kelly's off balance and Pressly's poised for her hook: clean left hand swivels Kelly's pretty head, sends her ragdoll into ropes. Hu's turn to work the pocket - hurt, legs buzzed, she digs in, bends low, rotates torso-on-hips, showing Jaime either shoulder. Pressly flurrying, connecting only on shoulders or skidding across pate - she just can't find the mark. Pressly bags the only clean shot this round, takes her points.

R8: Free-wheeling cut and thrust of the first round returns - girls abandoning jabs that had been working, looking for get-rich-quick hooks and sneaky lead rights. Undulating, supple torso movement, cutey-pie shoulder rolls - nothing's landing clean for either girl. Every inch of ring used - exquisite stuff for those that like this kind of thing: restless booing from the cheapseats who want to see starlet jug get mugged.

R9: Jaime's legs tireless - she's traversing the ring, cute in the corners as she bounces off adjacent ropes and spins back to midring - so lithe and pretty to watch. Trouble is: where's the pop? Pressly sliding cute, feinting, then trying to take Hu's head off with the lead hook - Kelly bending under it, pivoting around it, or turning her torso to take the punch on her right shoulder-blade. Meanwhile, Hu more conservative, piling up body-jabs, scaring Pressly off with right hands - Hu applying just enough polish to take the minutes as Jaime's gambling, firewagon boxing doesn't deliver.

R10: Same again - Pressly roaming, feinting, jumping in lead powershots - Hu more conservative, more constructive - taking the body jab and jumping back outside, luring Jaime forward. Darting give and take - girls thwarting one another with gazelle-like anticipation and reflexes - nobody wants to take a punch in order to get in hard, nobody's willing to commit power to the body to slow the other down. Kelly putting tepid mitts on meat, but at least she's scoring - judges give her a lukewarm nod and this thing goes to the cards. Girls lathered with sweat they could have gotten running a hard 10k - comes back UD10 narrow, Kelly Hu.

After: Pressly pursing her lips, looking sheepish - she won't admit it, but getting stung in the fifth made her tentative and created a landscape favourable to the Asian sorceress. Kelly all grins and hugs in her corner - nip and tuck battle much to her liking: pretty tough to outbox Kelly Hu in a battle of misdirection and reflexes.