If you are citizen of an European Union member nation, you may not use this service unless you are at least 16 years old.
You already know Dokkio is an AI-powered assistant to organize & manage your digital files & messages. Very soon, Dokkio will support Outlook as well as One Drive. Check it out today!

17 January 2012 Front Street Post Fight Press Conference

Page history last edited by Archer844 12 years ago

Posted by Boxing World Online on 1/17/2012, 5:51 pm

The Man In The Hat enters the room with Amanda Seyfried and the pair sit side by side on the dais. The reporters sit waiting, saying nothing.

Man In The Hat: "Well? Any questions?"

HBO Reporter: "Um...where is everyone?"

Man In The Hat: "You don't take hints too good, do ya, Cable Boy..."

HBO Reporter: "OK then, what did you think of Amanda's performance..."

Man In The Hat: "NOW you get it..."

(Laughter)

Man In The Hat: "I'm very proud of what Amanda did out there. That's a top ten bantamweight she fought! Hewitt's won titles four times. She's beaten Cuthbert, Williams, Dushku, Munn, Beckinsale and Alli Mack. She lost by one flippin' point to BRITNEY last year. And my kid competed. She never quit. She fought hard. She dug deep. She did everything I wanted her to do out there except win."

HBO Reporter: "Did you expect her to win?"

Man In The Hat: "I knew she was capable of it. But, there's another fighter out there, too. And she's good, too. And she's trying to win, too. This is the same stuff I told you guys when you wanted to rip Jamie Lynn for losin' ta Cyrus. Did you SEE Cyrus tonight? Took flippin' Dobrev OT. The same Dobrev who gave Minka Kelly fits. The same Minka who fought tooth and nail with freakin' WILDE tonight. How's Jamie Lynn's loss look now, genius? Better, I'd wager. Now, back to Amanda. This kid is a huge flippin' movie star, you ain't noticed. She's one of the best young actresses in Hollywood. She's freakin' stunningly beautiful. And tonight she went out there and fought a bigger girl who's had five times as many fights. And she wouldn't punk. I'm proud of the kid. Like I said, she did everything I asked her to do but win. She did fine."

HBO Reporter: "Speaking of Cyrus, does Amanda's loss tonight make it more likely the rumored trade for Miley or Lohan or the signing of another flyweight like Tisdale will happen?"

Man In The Hat(sighing): "Son, your lack of intelligence would be ALARMING if it weren't so AMUSING. Cable Boy II. Go!"

Showtime Reporter: "I noticed you had plenty of troops around the corner post fight..."

Man In The Hat: "First, let me thank JKO for this opportunity. Love can have her pick of fights against top stars and I appreciate her giving our kid an opportunity. Amanda's a better fighter now than she was at the beginning of the night for having gone ten with Jennifer. And let me also say we respect JKO for being what it is, one of the best, hottest, most talented stables in the FCBA. And we also respect JKO's reputation. We'll leave it at that. Now, let's get the rest of the ladies in..."

Through the curtain come Serinda Swan and Anna Torv leading the Front Street/Hour Glass contingent. Serinda immediately heads for the empty chair to The Man In The Hat's right, but a blonde flyweight slips past her and jumps into it earning a look from Serinda, who sits down to Amanda's left. Anna takes the chair to Cassandra Lynn's right, smirking at what Scerbo's just done. Gemma Arterton sits next to Anna. Neve Campbell sits next to Gemma, and Jewel next to her. Brooklyn Decker takes the final seat. The seats next to Serinda are occupied by Britney, Pink, Allison Mack and Avril.

Man In The Hat: "BLONDE! Magazine! You're jumpin' out of your skin..."

BLONDE! Reporter: "Cassie, you were AWESOME tonight..."

Cassandra Lynn(smiling): "I WAS, wasn't I?"

(Laughter)

Man In The Hat: "Look, you guys don't LISTEN! I been tellin' you for over a year that there is NO flyweight in the world any better than Cassandra Lynn Scerbo. None. Write it down. The kid IS awesome. And she's just going to get better. What you saw tonight? That was no fluke. That's how good this kid IS. You wanna talk trade rumors? Pointy decides he doesn't want HER you'll have more than RUMORS. But, since Pointy's as sharp as they come, that will happen when McCarthy gets into Oxford. Tess, dear, go ahead."

Tess: "You have to be pleased with Anna's effort tonight..."

Man In The Hat: "I was, indeed. See, every fight I sign has a purpose. Every single one. Anna's a top level light. And, in case you ain't noticed, there's plenty of physicality at the top of that division. Girls like Biel and Cole and Palicki and Durance. Want to compete at that level, you gotta handle physical girls. And Dawson's plenty physical. This was both a test and good experience for Anna. She handled it very well. I'm very happy with her performance. Very. Smackeroo! Let's get to dinner, shall we?"

Reporter: "Serinda was pretty impressive tonight..."

Man In The Hat: "You think? Girl who took out Michalka and took Anna 16? And Swanny takes her out in four? You think Old Wiz might have NOTICED that?"

(Laughter)

Reporter: "I have to ask this question. Who's your number one light, Wiz?"

Man In The Hat: "At this moment?"

Reporter: "Yes, at this moment!"

Man In The Hat: "She's sittin' right up here on this dais. Now, we're off to dinner with Bazz. Smackey. Tess. Limo!"