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28 February 2012 Jenny McCarthy vs Poppy Montgomery

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 11 months ago

Jenny McCarthy 08.jpg Poppy Montgomery 02.jpg

Posted by Sceej Boxing on 2/28/2012, 12:35 pm

(Results: Simguy. Writing Sceej. Site: London, UK)

Rematch that had to happen. Some seasoned boxing heads point to Poppy Mo’s Oct 2011 wreckage of Jenny Mac as a watershed fight – established Poppy as a late coming force to be reckoned with in FCBA and started the slide toward “opponent” status for Jenny. Poppy comes into rematch with momentum (riding a five fight KO streak) and that shiny new BBU lightweight belt around her waist. Jenny stopped the bleeding of back to back KO losses to Monty and Munn with win over rookie Jamie Chung, but insiders wonder aloud just what that proves.

Poppy delighting in the interim in getting under Jenny’s notoriously thin skin and making a point of calling her “McCartney” – feigning ignorance as to who exactly Jenny is – and taunting about age. Slick manipulation has furious McCarthy agreeing to a “neutral” venue – London – rather than Vegas. “Neutral” being a very dubious description given that Monty is the BBU lightweight champ and Jenny has had a historically stormy relationship with British fans, going back to the Beckinsale feud. Sceej Boxing lobbying hard for ‘catch weight” stipulation that Poppy come in under 125 pounds but when British camp balks, Jenny snarls “Bring it … I don’t care what she weighs! Just gonna make it rougher on the poor bastards carrying her dead weight out on the stretcher after I starch her!”.

Fight night: Jenny in her “lucky” scarlet bikini with the brass rings, black boots and gloves, hair in loose pony tail, cocky stroll to ring to strains of Bobby Darin’s “Mac the Knife”, rumble of boos from London crowd. Tense moment as Jenny and Kate Beckinsale, providing color for Sky, exchange long hard glares, broken by eruption of cheers as Poppy Mo begins purposeful stride to ring, navy sports top with boycut bottoms, white gloves and boots, accompanied by the strains of “You Shook Me All Night Long” by Australia’s own AC/DC.

“Now, fight fans, your main event … ten rounds of boxing … introducing first … in the red corner .. fighting out of Chicago, Illinois … she weighs in at a trim 117 pounds … the self described “Greatest Fighting Playmate of all Time” … Jenny “Mac the Knife” McCarthy!” (round of raucous booing)

“And fighting out of the blue corner (groundswell of cheers) … she hails from Sydney, Australia … weighing in at a ready 126 pounds … she is the reigning BBU lightweight champion … the Countess of ‘Monty’ Fisto herself … Poppy Moooooooooooooooooooooooontgomery!!!” (eruption of applause).

Referee’s instructions feature a half smirking Jenny and a hard eyed Poppy. Lightweight Poppy giving up inch or two in height to bantam Jenny but noticeably bigger through shoulders. Referee asks twice to “touch em up” – ignored by both girls – before sending girls to respective corners. Both backing out of stare-down … not willing to turn back and break eye contact.

Round 1: Poppy out of corner in purposeful half crouch, hands crossed under chin. Jenny more classic stance with right at cheek, left partially extended. Jenny looking to circle left, using rangefinder jab, but Poppy moving to her right to frustrate. Jenny jabs … jabs … Monty slipping, hen bursts out of crouch with left hook, catches Jenny a cuffing shot behind ear. Jenny stumbles back a half step, more surprised than hurt, and redhead on her quick. Sceej corner calls for clinch and girls wrestle, tangled at mid ring. Poppy’s strong thighs and glutes rippling as she bulls blonde back until Playmate back touches cables -where the Aussie sets up office. Steady purposeful stuff – little shoulder bumps to disrupt Playmate balance then hook the flank, occasionally doubling up with hook upstairs – alternating lefts and rights. J-Mac listless in ropes, occasionally looking to counter with left uppercut but mostly just absorbing. Nothing ruinous but steady thumping body work. Bell: Poppy chests up wordlessly, ref pries girls apart, Jenny muttering. Jenny getting a lecture in corner from Scrubby McGee, punctuated by admonition to “… stay offa dem goddam ropes!”

Round 2: Second verse, same as the first. Poppy Mo cutting off ring, hounding, pressuring, bulling Mac to ropes. Jenny earmuff guard on the cables and able to roll with shots. Poppy content to stay busy and land where she can – even those shots on the forearms and biceps take a toll over the rounds. When Jenny looks to sip out, Poppy able to strong arm her back. McCarthy just not getting off. Through two rounds – shutout Poppy Mo! End of round brings ringside venom from “impartial” color commentator Kate “The Duchess” Beckinsale, “McCarthy is plainly a ‘shot fighter’ as we say in the trade. Whatever negligible skills she once had have been pounded out of her. She won’t retire of course, owing to her mule-like stubbornness, but her future clearly lies in fighting cocktail waitresses at dinner theaters in Branson, Missouri or some other backwater venue.”

Round 3: Where have we seen this before? Poppy in crouch, stalking, cutting ring and bullying Mac. Jenny now in full retreat and Aussie getting braver in pursuit, sacrificing head motion and shoulder jukes to close quick and pound those flanks. McCarthy ribcage starting to visibly pink up. Poppy starts looking for that chin to close the show. Final minute – Jenny on the run, Poppy lunges with hook … MONTGOMERY IS HURT! McCarthy times is perfectly, arches back from hook and slings the right hand counter right on the redhead’s chin! Poppy staggered … blinking to clear head … only seconds left in round … no opportunity for Mac to follow up. At bell, Jenny beckons mid-ring, “You want some? Come get some!”. Britney Spears to Jenny O’Dell on HBO, “Wow – talk about a turn around! Y’know, Jenny, could just be McCarthy was playing possum those first two rounds? Looking to make Poppy reckless? Whatever … now we have a fight!”.

Round 4: Frantic work in Aussie corner … salts under nose … ice on neck … as that fleeting one minute between rounds slips away like smoke. Poppy barely off stool when she is met by rejuvenated Jenny Mac. Left jab … left jab … popping pretty redhead … then Jenny pops hips right … digs hook to the ribs and brings it right up top to clang chin. Poppy Mo stumbles to her left and Mac flashes an often overlooked part of her game – her hand speed – and snaps off a four punch combination … left hook to ribs and right to sternum bends the redhead at the waist … Jenny twists hips into an uppercut that snaps Poopy upright … then right cross to jaw. AUSSIE DOWN! AUSSIE DOWN! Shocked redhead knocked on her shapely butt … stares at ref as he picks up the count … then laboriously to her feet by ‘seven’ … and Mount McCarthy explodes on the stunned redhead! Straight left and right combination knocks her head back and gives Poppy a quick glimpse of the overhead lights. Jenny bolos the right hand in showy windmill before landing cuffing right hand to temple. Poppy can’t hold canvas and is forced back … and Mac goes rack! Perhaps recalling promise before first fight to “pound Poppy’s puppies”, Jenny forgoes the chin check and administers a vigorous shoe shine on the redhead’s sloshing rack. Chup … chup … chup … alternating left and rights … sometimes mashing the mammaries … sometimes speed-bagging them. Poppy momentarily jug shocked, then half lunges half falls into a desperate clinch. Ref working hard to separate girls but Poppy using all her big girl strength to hang on for dear life, buying precious seconds. Jenny burning a lot of energy thrashing to get loose. Referee finally separates girls … Mac looks to reengage and Poppy Mo stuns her with overhand right. J-Mac backs off – clearly there’s still fight left in the redhead. Corner screaming for Jenny to finish but Mac fights a measured last minute … did not like the taste of Poppy’s power!

Posted by Sceej Boxing on 2/28/2012, 12:37 pm

Rounds 5-8: “They could be fighting this out in a phone booth, Brit, that’s how close these two are!” is Jenny O’Dell’s estimation. Over four rounds, two women looking to impose will one on the other. Foreheads often touching, they trade shots, banging bodies and cuffing heads. Damage of that big fourth round allows smaller woman J-Mac to get the better of these exchanges through the 7th, stealing these critical tight rounds, but by the 8th, Monty’s beef begins to wear on the blonde and by the two minute mark, Jenny grudgingly disengages, drawing a roar of triumph form the pro-Poppy London crowd as Poppy takes the 8th.

Britney Spears on HBO, “ Poppy’s won the psychological war and backed McCarthy off … but you don’t points for that. I’ve got it five round to three McCarthy through eight. How do you see it, Jenny?”

Jenny O’Dell on HBO, “ Got it the same, Brit, but it’s 77 – 74 on points … that fourth was a 10-8 round … Poppy needs something dramatic.”

Kate Beckinsale on Sky, “Absolutely appalling! I really must apologize on behalf of the network. This was advertised as a match between professional boxers. It’s like watching two washwomen batter each other senseless over a coin that fell from a pocket. Nothing approaching the skill or artistry of real pugilism. Simply …. appalling!”

Round 9: Jenny up on her toes, asking those tired legs to coast her home. Poppy’s corner has laid it out – she needs a knockout. Poppy pursuing desperately, taking chances … and gets clipped a right hand lead. Legs shimmy, one knee buckles and touches canvas and the referee is counting it as a knockdown. Poppy right up and arguing vociferously, crowd booing as a beaming J-Mac rests in neutral corner and watches seconds tick off the clock. When fight resumes, Jenny dancing back … drawing boos form crowd. Poppy Mo the aggressor for virtually the full three minutes but the flash knockdown steals the round for Mac and both girls know it. Jenny getting just a little full of herself a little early. “How you like me now, B*tch?” she asks a fuming Poppy.

Round 10: Monty looking to close the show; J- Mac looking to run out the clock! Jenny backpedaling, looking to halt Montgomery rushes with the jab but the bigger redhead is walking through the jab, taking the punishment to close ground, forcing Jenny to trade. One minute in and girls firing at puncher’s range mid ring … BLONDE GIRL DOWN! Wild right by Poppy Mo crashes off McCarthy temple and Jenny’s knees lock up … stumbles a half step backward and then drops to canvas … and the crowd goes wild! Jenny to one knee at six … shaking head trying to clear cobwebs … up at nine … ref asks is she can continue … the shot did not knock all the sass out of Jenny, who is arguing it was a slip!

AND HERE COMES POPPY! Redheaded locomotive out of the neutral corner, bludgeons her blonde to ropes and pins her in place. Jenny in desperate ear muff. Poppy with brutal left right left right shoe shine to abs to bring those hands down then erupts with left hook to jaw that toggles blonde jaw. Desperate J-Mac looks to clinch but too much Aussie; violent shoulder twists bursts out of clinch and the bashing continues! Thirty second to go … Jenny swooning on ropes and Poppy Mo is all in! Using extended left to pose Playmate upright and just bashes away with that big right hand … forehead … temple … there’s the bell … Poppy cracks Jenny another to the jaw as referee is late in. Sceej corner into ring fast to guide Jenny back … she has no idea which corner she belongs in right now!

Kate Beckinsale on Sky: “… right hand Montgomery … right hand Montgomery … McCarthy is ready to go … and the referee stops the fight! The referee has stopped it … winner by technical knockout … Poppy … what’s that? (reacting to earpiece) The round ended? Rubbish! The referee clearly stepped in and stopped the fight PRIOR to the bell … by definition a technical knockout! Good Lord …. This result can’t possibly stand?!!”

Just a bit too little, just a bit too late … fight goes to the cards and it’s a unanimous decision in favor of Jenny “Mac the Knife” McCarthy … who is still on her stool when decision is announced. Vociferous boos from London crowd segue to cheers as Poppy Montgomery takes mic for post fight interview with Britney Spears(usually the winner’s privilege).

“Not my way to complain … just not my style … but do I disagree with the decision? Yes, of course I do. I know in my heart I did not lose this fight… at worst, I ran out of time. McCartney knows who the better woman is … maybe you can ask the old tramp if they’ve brought her around yet!”