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4 March 2012 Pink vs Shakira

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 10 months ago

Pink 02.jpg Shakira 06.jpg

("An I.F.F.I. Proposition at the Asylum")

(Site: Asylum Arena. Philadephia, Pennsylvania)

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on 3/4/2012, 7:27 pm

BEFORE:

"This is a tough fight for me," says Shakira. "But, I've had them before and I've surprised people. She may be bigger and stronger, but I can beat her."

"She is a tough bytch," says Pink. "She'll be as tough as any girl I've fought, and if I'm not on top of my game, I'm in trouble. But, I plan to BE at the top, and that means SHE'S going to be in trouble."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and the crowd popping as 'Hips Don't Lie' booms over the sound system and here comes 'The She-Wolf', Shakira!"

McCarthy: "This is ONE way for The Weirdo to get a win, have two of his girls fight one another..."

Tess: "Shakira fights for Hour-Glass, Mac, not Front Street..."

McCarthy: "Like it matters. Hour-Glass might as well be an arm of Front Street!"

Tess: "I don't think Mariska would agree."

O'Dell: "Shakira into the ring, helped off with the robe to reveal a leopard print number..."

Tess: "Guys in the audience definitely noticing..."

O'Dell: "And that's 'Trouble' you hear, and here comes 'The Queen', Pink!"

McCarthy: "Queen of what? Front Street? I'd rather be queen of a toxic waste dump!"

Tess: "That's what you'd call a 'glowing' endorsement..."

McCarthy: "Thank goodness we don't pay you to be funny!"

Tess: "No, that's YOUR job."

McCarthy: "Wait...What? It is NOT!"

O'Dell: "Pink into the ring, helped off with the robe to reveal that black bikini with the white skulls on it. And now it's time for Mac's pick."

McCarthy: "I'm going to be a bit contrarian here and pick Shakira. She's got a funky style and I think she can use it to confuse Pink and out-point her. Because Pink is..."

Tess: "Wait for it..."

McCarthy: "Overrated! And SHUT IT, WALMART!"

O'Dell: "The only folks left conscious in the home audience are guys who can keep up with Wiz and Pointy. But, for those of you not drooling on your sofas or floors, there's the bell for the first and Shakira quickly getting to work, landing some good stuff in the opening flurry. Pink retreating back to the ropes, looking to fight from the pocket."

McCarthy: "Who's Pink think she IS, Britney?"

O'Dell: "Not sure about THAT, but she is fighting counter right now. Shakira is getting off first, Pink looking for openings for her right hand. Throwing out the odd left hook, too. Content to let Shakira box lead."

Tess: "Any idea what Pink's thinking here, Mac?"

McCarthy: "You'd need more than one psychologist to figure out what's going on in THAT ugly head."

O'Dell: "Pretty easy to see what's going on in the ring, though. Pink safe in the pocket, but being outworked by the Colombian beauty as the bell rings to end the first. The two ladies tap gloves and head back to their respective corners."

McCarthy: "Shakira's got the early lead."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Back to action now and Shakira again working forward, showing good head and foot movement. Pink willing to back up and again fight from the pocket. The bigger woman looking to find spots for counters."

McCarthy: "I'm not getting this AT ALL. Shakira's a smaller woman. Why not go after her and make her take your power?Then again, it's not like Pink's smart enough to figure this out, and her manager and corner people, except Britney, are DUMBER than SHE is..."

Tess: "Can we get that graphic on Neve's traning record compared to Mac's back on screen..."

McCarthy: "Don't you...TAKE THAT DOWN!"

Tess: "Drinks are on me at the Jack of Diamonds after the fight, boys!"

McCarthy: "Don't fall for that, truck! The Weirdo owns that place! He won't let her pay for anything!"

Tess: "True. But they'll still drink free..."

O'Dell: "Meanwhile, back in the ring, Shakira remains the aggressor, scoring well as Pink remains in the pocket landing some counters, but not frequently enough to win the round. There's the bell, and Shakira's got two in a row, ladies."

McCarthy: "I agree. 20-18, Shakira through two."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third round underway and Shakira again getting busy. Pink working the jab now, though. The pride of Philadelphia STICKING that left hand home. Stopping Shakira's advance and throwing her over to the defensive."

McCarthy: "THIS is more like the plan I expected."

O'Dell: "Pink backing Shakira up now, using the jab to move and control her. Shakira short on everything now, as Pink's keeping her out of range. The taller girl fitting some rights in, as Shakira keeps retreating, trying to find some angles, but Pink's got the initiative with that jab."

McCarthy: "Shakira being kept at bay right now, but being smart. She's not going to get careless trying to close and get caught. She's in this fight. She doesn't need to take chances."

O'Dell: "Shakira backed into the ropes as the bell rings, and no question it's the Front Streeter who gets this one."

McCarthy: "They're BOTH Front Streeters!"

Tess: "Again, they are NOT."

O'Dell: "How do the cards look, ladies?"

McCarthy: "29-28 Shakira."

Tess: "Same here."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Into the fourth and it's Pink going forward again, working that left, backing Shakira up with it."

McCarthy: "Shakira hasn't been able to be effective going backward."

O'Dell: "And that's exactly the direction Pink has her going, sticking that left home, bringing the right in to the body off of it. Shakira can't get into range, can't get off."

Tess: "Pink very methodical, Jenny. Just working that left hand. Nothing rushed. Finding the range, forcing Shakira out of what she wants to do."

O'Dell: "Pink lands a nice flurry. Forces Shakira to cover up. The bigger girl goes body, then backs Shakira up with a straight left. There's the bell and another pretty solid round for Pink."

McCarthy: "All even at 38. But it doesn't FEEL even."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "We're into the fifth now, and Pink turning up the pressure. Moving forward behind the jab and banging hard right hands to the head. Very aggressive stuff from Pinkness, Mac!"

McCarthy: "Got Shakira on the defensive and now she's looking to take complete control and/or take her out of here."

O'Dell: "Another hard flurry from Pink. Shakira takes it and fires back. Give the Colombian credit, Mac. She's hanging in there."

McCarthy: "Sure is. Pink's in firm control, but Shakira's not going away."

O'Dell: "Big right hand, Pink! Shakira fires back with a flurry. Pink responds with a barrage of her own, backing the smaller girl up again. But Shakira's legs passing all the tests this round. There's the bell. No question who won it, ladies."

McCarthy: "Clearly Pink's round, but Shakira hanging tough."

Tess: "Pink's in the lead, though, 48-47."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "We're into the sixth now and Shakira changing levels, Mac, getting a bit lower, working forward in a high guard."

McCarthy: "Looking to work past Pink's jab, she's ducking inside and working body in close."

O'Dell: "Pink responding in kind, and this round has a completely different feel, as we've gone from Pink keeping Shakira outside to the Colombian and the Philly girl in a phone booth."

McCarthy: "And this is Shakira's fight. She's digging inside, working hard for points. Pink doing more clinching and covering up. Not working as hard as last round."

O'Dell: "Pink tying Shakira up, working body in tight, but it's the Colombian who's getting the better of things. There's the bell for the sixth, and we're about even, ladies."

McCarthy: "I've got it 57-57."

Tess: "Same here."

ROUND SEVEN:

O'Dell: "Into the seventh now and Shakira working forward again in that low crouch, looking to close and work in tight. Pink wants to bang body with her in there. Shak getting off first, though."

McCarthy: "Pink looking to counter now, like she did in the first couple of rounds. Not sure that's a good idea, because it didn't work too well then."

O'Dell: "Shakira working hard inside. Letting the hands go, going body first, then upstairs. Pink patient, waiting for openings...AND SHE FINDS ONE AND DOWN GOES SHAKIRA!"

Tess: "PRETTY right hook, Jenny!"

O'Dell: "Picked Shakira up and put her on her back. Shakira rolling to all fours, pushing to her feet at seven. Referee gives her the mandatory and he'll let it continue. Pink right after the smaller woman, jabbing her backward toward the ropes and going to work downstairs, banging that body with hooks to ribs and lats. Shakira covering up, hanging on, doing just enough to keep the referee at bay. Trying to survive here. And she does! There's the bell ending a BIG round for Pink!"

McCarthy: "Check the replay on that counter. Watch Shakira throw the left hook. Pink anticipates and RIPS that right hook home before the glove comes back. Nasty punch."

ROUND EIGHT:

O'Dell: "Eighth now underway and Pink now looking for the kill, driving forward, backing Shakira up, brawling inside with the smaller woman."

McCarthy: "Notice how we have to vary what we call the fighters by using phrases like 'The Colombian' and 'The Philly Girl' and 'the smaller/bigger girl' and 'the older/younger girl'? This is The Weirdo's fault! Didn't he know how hard it would be to broadcast a fight between two women with one name?"

Tess: "You could always call Pink 'Alecia'. That's her real name."

McCarthy: "Figures. There's never been a great fighter named 'Alecia'."

Tess: "But there's certainly been one named 'Jenny'..."

McCarthy: "Well, thank..."

Tess: "And I mean YOU, Ms. O'Dell."

McCarthy: "HEY!"

O'Dell: "Thanks, Tess. Meanwhile, in the ring, Pink has backed Shakira into the ropes and is going to town, banging body, snapping the Colombian's head back..."

McCarthy: "What's Shakira's real name, Tess?"

Tess: "Shakira."

McCarthy: "Well, there's never been a great fighter named 'Shakira', either."

O'Dell: "Pink banging away at Shakira, breaking her down along the ropes. The older woman tying up, holding, trying to hang on. Pinkness just THUMPING her as the bell rings ending the eighth."

McCarthy: "This was close a couple of rounds ago, but no more. I have it 77-74, Pink with two to go."

ROUND NINE:

O'Dell: "We're into the ninth of a scheduled ten and SHAKIRA WOBBLED WITH A FLURRY BY PINK! THE COLOMBIAN STAGGERED! PINK A HARD COMBINATION! SHAKIRA STUMBLES BACKWARD...PINK A LEFT HOOK...IT'S OVER! REFEREE HAS SEEN ENOUGH! HE'S WAIVING IT OFF!"

McCarthy: "Good call. Shakira gutty, but she's got nothing left."

O'Dell: "Referee helping her back to her corner. Pink over there to check on her. Both corners now in the Hour-Glass corner helping a dazed Shakira out. She's helped to her feet and..."

McCarthy: "Oh, FOR..."

O'Dell: "There's the hug Mac loves so much between Shakira and our winner by TKO9, Pink!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "Pink, you said pre-fight that Shakira is as tough as anyone you've fought. What do you think now?"

Pink: "Bytch is even tougher than I thought! I threw some BOMBS at her, and she wouldn't go away. I'm glad the referee stepped in, or we'd STILL be out there. She was NOT going to stay down. I'm glad to have a girl like that on MY side."