Boxing at the Beach

Posted by Simguy on 8/30/2007, 7:00 pm.

Before: Demi’s broken many an ingénue heart in the sand--Kaley denies speculation that this fight is a bit of tough love from BSE mgmt: “Not at all,” Kaley insists, “I want Demi on sand and I totally agree with the theory of the fight. It’s not that I can’t punch--ask Erica Durance if I can punch or not. It’s more that I don’t break girls down the way I should and accrue damage on them. Demi way be old, but she’s got the abs of a teenager, and more skill than most girls I’ll ever fight. This is a great chance for me to get in with a legend and grow as a fighter.” Demi in black filigree swimsuit from “Charlie’s Angels”--small black workout gloves--hair long and wet. Kaley in white bikini top (ring connections), baby blue cashmere crochet bottoms; small white gloves; flirty puncher’s ponytail. Ring stanchions set up in sand; converted beach volleyball court on Malibu beach, bleachers overlooking, Kiana Tom in attendance, but frozen out of the promotion by BSE--rare B.O.B, carried on ESPN that DOESN’T involve Kiki T.

During R1,2: Think Demi’s got nothing left? Girls swish flat footed in sand, work at each other midring--Moore getting the better of every exchange. Demi in a slight crouch to her right--pumping the jab to prep Kaley, then closing behind the hot right cross, finishing with raking hooks (body and head). Kaley supple at the waist, hands up and open to cup her cheeks as she weaves--she’s answering back in combination, working the Moore abdominals and jugs in spots. Moore also spicing Kaley up in combination--bouncing rugged rights and lefts off blonde midsection--Demi leaning in close, getting off snappy,. Pleasing hard work; sunlight collecting white on sweaty shoulders, brows, breast -tops, etc.

R3,4: Kaley slowly heaving more of it her own way--fighting Demi’s fight, but starting to whittle effectively at brunette lead. Kaley engaging at close range as instructed--head often ear to ear with Demi’s as the girls hunch forward, snap short, muscular licks off one another. Moore’s ribs under constant drumming assault. Now--Kaley clipping away downstairs, then putting a brawny brown shoulder into Moore’s chest to back her up. Demi pushed to ropes at several points--Kaley grinding on her girl, tidying up the breadbasket and starting to come off body to hook Moore’s chin, Demi very sturdy, taking a good shot despite some visible head-jolt: defensive form starting to waver when she’s struck clean, allowing Kaley opportunities for insurance licks.

R6: Demi answers, and answers with vigor. Earlyt the round--girls prowling counter-clockwise--Moore gives a little shoulder feint, leans in and chops a short right hand clean to Kaley’s jaw: Cuoco’s curvy legs give a shimmy as she immediately reaches out to clinch. Moore pressing--knows she’s hurt Kaley: brunette begins to edge forward with a bumping left shoulder--hooking Kaley’s tummy meat or gouging left uppies into sternum with muscular intentions. Cuoco grunting, giving ground: she spends much of the final minute with back to ropes, punching back furiously in tight little arcs to deny Moore a shutout to go with power licks.

R7: Nice little roll-to-the right from Kaley--she slips Demi’s right hand, answers back the clipping right counter uppercut: Moore’s feet stumble-stamp as she’s clipped hard under the chin. Kaley immediately to Demi’s flat tummy left/right--snik-snak body shots beat the breath from a woozy Demi. Cuoco edging her left shoulder in, then muscling lithe left uppercuts through Demi’s guard--curling, curving shots all back and kegs as Kaley shows a little Charisma. Cuoco easing weight to back (right) foot, getting both the swiping hook and right uppercut from the posture: Moore fielding more and better punches now than she has in most rounds previous. Cuoco upbeat, energetic--she’s chirping taunts, letting Moore hear all about it: Demi wincing, not talkative. Demi hurt, but rallying late: chopping right hand behind the ear nearly bludgeons Kaley to her knees. Moore able to land a brace of hooks to her foe’s midsection and trunk line, beating Kaley breathless at bell. (During the break--telecast shows slow-mo replay of a gorgeous Kaley hook to body. Demi stooped forward, elbows in: Cuoco looming over top, fitting the left hand snug in behind Moore’s right elbow--Kaley’s thumb up, elbow out wide as she digs the knuckles flat into the thickness of Demi. Moore’s lips part moist--eyes frowning shut: Kaley’s eyes bright as a cat’s as she feels the punch sink in).

R8: Demi’s age not apparent in the first half: it’s clearly visible now. Moore’s weight out over her feet--strong on her legs, but not well balanced--Kaley’s able to turn Demi, get a shoulder into her, lever her around at will. Demi late on receipts, accuracy slipping--more and more she’s bobbing at the waist, left across the gut, right at her cheek, waiting for a clear opening. Kaley working hard--bodying Demi around, shoulder-bumping her; deploying heavy, ripping right hands mercilessly to waist; rip-dig hooks taking Demi in her ribs, then quickly doubling to chin. D turning, not punching back and MOORE TAKES A KNEE!BSE suits in attendance issue standing applause: that’s EXACTLY what the boys are paying Kaley for tonight. Cuoco glistening with sweat and satisfaction--beaming as she swishes to neutral corner, waving to her guys; poor Demi pants shabbily on all fours. Cranky 8 Demi Moore: face busting up--mouse growing under right eye--small cut at the hairline--ribs aching. Brunette covers up face-in-gloves, sits in ropes, sponging up thump from a frisky blonde over the remaining seconds.

R9: Kaley’s stepping in that right hand to Demi’s body--whip-spanking it off meat: Moore cringing forward, visibly crippled by these blasts. Kaley methodical, feet set wide I sand--with Moore bent near double, hugging her midsection--Kaley free to pop her hips, turn into well-leveraged, exquisite licks to either flank. Vicious, smiting blows--poor Demi stumbling around in her crouch, trying to hold herself together: she’s being beaten down by a young, hungry blonde and there is nothing Moore can do about it. Ref taking a look, but not anxious to stop the notoriously vindictive Moore: Demi turning, crouching, starts to ship serious, serious shellack, Give Kaley credit--no trace of let up--Moore baring her throat a little here, seeing if she can get Kaley to lighten up even a teensy bit: all it’s doing is getting Cuoco’s bloodlust up, spurring her to greater vigor. Job of work--Kaley grunting, teeth bared as she turns into her shots--arms shivering as fists beat against the flanks, or twist against hard tummy flesh: small gloves cracking away moist on Demi’s fat-free chassis, then clubbing against Moore’s temples. Pair of digging left uppercuts to sternum effectively ends it, punching the breath from Demi’s body: Kaley’s final curling left uppercut skids off Moore’s face as Demi’s heading down. Demi shuddering on all fours--face a busted ruin, eyes bleak: if she CAN stand, she doesn’t even try--content to let the 10 count pass her by. KO9 in thudding fashion--Kaley Cuoco.

After: Kaley’s young, exuberant--her shrieking, jump0ing celebration doesn’t strike her as cruel in any way--despite the fact that she’s just pushed Demi into Debbe Dunning territory. Badly battered Moore pushing her way to her feet--only Jenny O’Dell from BSE camp shows any concern at all--sharing a brief word with Demi as Moore’s stumbling away from the party. In days to come--shocking announcement from Moore reveals her retirement, effectively immediately: “It’s over for me,” a bleak, still scuffed up Moore reads off the podium to a packed press room. “Kaley Cuoco isn’t half the woman I was at her age--but she’s the kind of woman I’m losing to now, and I don’t like it. I don’t want to be the next Debbe Dunning--I don’t want to be lying on my back, looking up at the Kaley Cuocos of the world and wishing for one last moment: I’ve had my moments--great ones. And I won’t diminish them by hanging on any longer, I leave the sport knowing that I was the greatest fighter of the 80s, and on my shoulders stand the current generation of girls who take PPV millions for granted. They stand on the shoulders of a giant, because I truly believe that I built boxing as it is today, and I have nothing left to prove.” There it is: Kaley Cuoco stops Demi Moore, joins fellow BSEr Jenny O’Dell as a career-ender. (O’Dell officially retiring Dunning, despite Debbe’s lingering persistence after the fact).

Reposted by Archer 3/27/12