Posted by Simguy on 3/12/2004, 6:48 am.

Before: Packard with a stunning win over Lucy Liu via KO last time out, probably had a title shot for the asking, but she detours to take care of blonde-on-blonde business. “It’s no secret Kelly despises Jessica,” says one BLONDE! Magazine staffer, “Everyone remembers when Kelly was the cutest blonde on TV, and now it’s Jessica. Sometimes it doesn’t take anything more than that--Packard just can’t let go.” Of course, Jessica referring to Kelly as a “Hoochie mama” hasn’t helped relations. Simpson turning into a curvy little power-hitter at 110--at one time Packard’s experience would have made her a prohibitive favourite in this one, but most experts feel Jessica’s closed the closed. Time to find out how much. Jessica in pale pink bikini, Kelly in black bikini.

During R1: Packard known as a safety first boxer, but she has a punching look and she’s showing that early as the girls trade licks midring. Kelly holding the right high, left angled down, bouncing in and out--she’s chopping rights down onto Jessica, stepping out and looking to catch her a rising, Erik Morales hook on the chin. Simpson taking wallop on her beautiful face, but pressing the action, turning over a whistling hook that’s catching plenty of Packard cheek. Midway through--Jessica stepping forward gets a looping right on the jaw, turns her hips into a swinging hook follow up and buckles Kelly’s legs. Packard jabbing for time, stepping left, bounces right back in and scores a gorgeous hacking right off the face, ducking down on follow through, then bobbing back up with a savage fish-hook left upper4cut--THERE GO JESSICA’S LEGS! Poor Jessica stupefied, reeling backwards into the ropes, eyes glossy with hurt--ON COMES KELLY! Packard palming her girl upright, then ROMPING TO JUG! Kelly gritting her teeth with effort, wiry arms pumping and chugging, lefts and rights THUMPING away to Simpson’s buxom goddess and THE REF STEPS IN! Good Lord TKO1 Kelly Packard!

After K-Pac picks up where she left off with Liu--getting into a wild free for all with Jessica Simpson and going jug to win this thing early. “They were just so big and soft,: quips Kelly of Jessica’s hooters, “I could have SWORN I was hitting her in the head!” Jessica blubbering, hugging her battered boobies--heartless Packard punch selection exactly the right idea--poor Jessi just didn’t want anymore, Hubbie Nick has some ’splaining to do: he’s caught on tape laughing and pounding knuckles with his buddies in the stands as Jessica’s getting her kegs klobbered--obviously enjoying Simpson’s suffering just a little too much. Hilarious moments on “Newlyweds” when Jessica calls him on it, all hurt and indignant.

Reposted by Archer 4/14/12.