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1 April 2012 Ann Curry vs Angelina Jolie

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 9 months ago

Ann Curry.jpg Angelina Jolie 04.jpg

Posted by Jac Fac on 4/1/2012, 8:09 pm

From 2009

It started out as another typical interview on the ‘Today’ show as Ann Curry sat down with Angelina Jolie. The night before they’d dined together at Tavern On The Green in Manhattan, enjoying each other’s company and (according to at least one tabloid, spending the night together afterward!)

On the surface everything seemed fine, but tension had been building between them over time because of Ann’s successes as a journalist - and that bungee jump off an English bridge in December. Jolie felt Ann was out-performing her and it bothered the egotistical actress. Angie’s ego needed constant reinforcement and this morning the interview topic was the work both had done in Africa. Curry risked being in the path of the feared ‘janjaweed killers’ in Darfur and didn’t want anyone to forget it.

“You take a lot of risks, don’t you Ann?” piped up Angelina, getting off the track of their agreed discussion.

Ann cooly regarded that question and muttered something like, “Such as?”

Jolie mentioned the feats Ann had accomplished, but her tone wasn’t at all an admiring one. Ann was beginning to bristle at the ‘bait’ Jolie was throwing out. “I’ll bet you won’t duke it out with me in front of a crowd in Central Park…you know, for charity,” Jolie sneered, derisive of Ann’s talent.

Ann crossed her sexy gams and reached out to shake hands, “Name the date sister; you’ve got a deal!”

“Have your people call mine,” Jolie eagerly agreed. Curry was eager to slug it out with Angelina - and had been for more than a year. They were on a collision course and now it was going to be ‘crunch time.’

* * * *
It was on a hot and humid August night in Central Park with 200,000+ in attendance, including politicians of every stripe - even UN officials as Curry entered the ring and began to peel off her light silk robe. She’s attired in her trademark silver g-string; the same ‘good luck’ outfit she’d worn beating Hannah Storm and Courtney Cox Arquette. Katie Couric took a break from her CBS anchor duties to stand in Ann’s corner.

Jolie arrived once Curry’s tightly muscled body was on display, already glistening with sweat from her warmup as she strips off her robe to reveal her ‘Lara Croft’ thong. There’s a near 20 year age gap with Ann at 51 and Jolie can’t resist chiding her aging opponent. “Hey AARP, how’s it going?” she teases.

Referee Elke Sommer stares at Jolie and orders her to cease and desist the BS and, “…get ready to fight.”

“Jawohl mein Fraulein,” jibes Angelina, earning herself a malevolent glare from proud Elke.

When the bell rings, there’s a huge roar as the crowd rises to their feet, those less fortunate watching on one of several huge projection screens arrayed around the grounds - a leftover from the previous night’s rock concert.

Round One: Jolie, who is a lefty like Ann, opens up with a hard right hook to Ann’s midsection and follows with several combinations to Ann’s head which connect. Curry’s legs backpedal a little. Angelina is clearly the quicker fighter as she pursues Ann for another inside body flurry. Curry slips sideways and delivers a wicked left uppercut which Jolie never saw coming. Angelina is staggered now. Ann rams home a body assault of her own which has Jolie bending at the waist and hurt.

The intensity of this action is bringing thunderous roars from the Central Park mob. This is a war. Ann Curry’s right hook sends Jolie down hard on her ass as Sommer starts counting. She gets to eight before the bell rings. Jolie slowly gets up but she’s been tagged and the whole place knows it.
Between rounds Katie Couric is counseling Ann to press Jolie as time will work against her because of her age.

Jolie has Elisha Cuthbert, the cute Canadian, in her corner. “Box her this round!” counsels Cuthbert. “Make her use those legs to chase you. Wear her out. Do it!”

Round Two: Jolie tries the boxing tack. She is slipping Ann’s blows deftly and counterpunching with accuracy. Curry’s head is jolted back several times by wicked right jabs delivered by Jolie. Ann’s eyes are starting to swell. She is exasperated by the quicker Jolie who continually feints the older woman and then punishes her with bruising shots to the body and head. Jolie’s left cross off a Curry missed combination sends the sexy legged newsbabe down on her ass this time. Angelina whips her gloves skywards as she watches the Eurasian beauty go down as a result of her blows.

“I’m gonna wipe this park up with your ass now!” boasts Jolie.

Ann is enraged and the two are at center ring slugging it out. Cuthbert did NOT want this. Ann still has fire in that boiler and thunders her famous body attack into Jolie’s midsection. Once again it’s Angelina’s turn to hurt. Curry is like a one person wrecking crew as she jackhammers the actress with an unanswered series of brutal body blows. Jolie’s arms starting to droop; an opening for another Curry right hook to the jaw. Jolie’s legs are rubbery as she staggers back into the ropes.

Elke is watching closely as Angie is literally out on her feet. Sommer pulls Curry away to prevent more punches to Jolie’s head, then watches as Angelina Jolie topples over and crashed face down on the canvas - thoroughly beaten.

Jolie’s lips and eyes have been dealt much violence by the hard-hitting Ann Curry and the crowd’s roar is deafening as Ann bounces up and down, doing her victory dance around Jolie’s prostrate form. Ann’s body is glistening with perspiration, but it’s the sweat of a winner!

Curry grabs Jolie by the heels, then drags Angelina around the ring before she spanks her ass for good measure - to the delight of the crowd. Then Ann orders Cuthbert to, “Drag your hag the hell outta here!”

It’s party time in Manhattan for the news crowd and Natalie Morales, Jenna Wolfe and Meredith Viera are all gushing adoringly as they fawn over victorious Ann at ringside, and later at a huge party at the NBC headquarters.

Jolie gets the full treatment, a chauffer driven ambulance that whiskes her and her entourage to Lenox Hill Hospital where she spends the night ‘under observation.’

The next morning on the ‘Today Show’ Ann receives not only congratulations, but also a challenge from Khandi Alexander of ‘CSI Miami’.

“I think I can sting your tail, sista, whaddya say?” Khandi says in a taped message played on the air. “We’ll see!”

That afternoon, Angelina and Brad make a hasty, quiet, exit from Gotham with their brood. Lots of wounds to lick!