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5 May 2012 Kristen Stewart vs Miley Cyrus

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 8 months ago

Miley Cyrus 03.jpg

Posted by simguy on May 5, 2012, 9:19 am

BEFORE: Scuffling, hard feelings in prefight: Miley wants A-list respect and Kristen's not giving it. "I knocked Lindsay-freaking-Lohan out cold," Miley reminds assembled press. "Everyone knows Lilo would clean KStew's clock, so I like my chances. I guarantee you I will hurt Kristen: up to her if I stop her or not!" Stewart not buying a word of it - showing her disdain at podium. "Simmer down 'Hannah'," Kris quips. "Lilo wouldn't go 3 rounds with me at this point, and I doubt you will either. You're not A-list out of the ring; you're DAMN sure not A-list IN the ring. Baby, I'm gonna treat you like the D-list tramp you are, and you're gonna like it!" Black bikini for Miley; small black gloves; gym-rat battle bun. Kristen in dark green bikini; small pink gloves; dark hair in loose curls.

During R1: Kris initiating - stepping in and out behind a frisky jab - tidying up the ribcage via carving rights and lefts; hooking the chin; stepping to her right after deployment. Miley patient - looking to track Krissy with the jab, then check her with the right hand. Both girls having moments: Stewart more of them in a get-acquainted first.

R2: Miley jabbing-jug to good effect early, but a minute in - Krissy gets the timing down, looping a right hand over top to bat Miley's chin aside. Leggy blonde girl stepping in fence-post holes...brunette over to offence with a brisk biting right/left/right curled up against breadbasket/ribs. Cyrus grimacing, shying away...Kristen stalking - jabbing to belly, then diving into right hands up top. punching Cyrus to ropes. Apron pursuit from Kristen as Miley slides to her right along cables...blonde girl staring as the odd reaching left or right bounces off her face.

R3: Krissy closing with the responsible jab; licking the right uppercut off Miley's tummy; hooking Miley's chin. Kstew in charge for first minute, turning Cyrus, hitting her and DOWN GOES KSTEW! Slinging right cross turns Krissy's chin, she wobbles out of orbit, hops to right knee as Cyrus bellows in triumph. Shaky 8 KStew: she comes forward dukes-at-cheeks, looking to box her way back into the round. Miley turns bully - stepping into Krissy's gut via the right uppercut; digging the hook in there; hooking Kristen up top off the right plant-leg. Stewart staggering, trying to keep herself together...right uppercut picks her up stiff, DROPS HER TO ALL FOURS as Miley stoops to scream down in exultation. Ref pushes gangly blonde girl away...swooning brunette in tears: gut check for Stewart to beat the count, then gather herself as MILEY WADES IN! Cyrus enjoying a strong last 45 seconds - pinning Krissy with jabs to guard, then POURING in the follow-on rights. Strong, Lilo-busting right hands belt Kristen into ropes...she's blocking them, but feeling rangy blonde power through 3.

R4: Kristen gets leggy, circling to either side, making Miley move her feet. Stewart feigning retreat to lure Miley forward, then sidestepping to flank her...Kristen not the fastest girl, but thoughtful footwork proving effective in disorganizing blonde front. Stewart selective offensively - wary of Miley's power: brunette dipping in to touch the body; dipping down to loop overhand rights upside the head; keeping the jab pesky. Good rally-round for Stewart - aggressive Miley largely ineffective in pursuit, unable to clean up after her devastating 4th.

R5: Kristen's fully recovered - movements nice and crisp...she's back to dictating terms. Miley frowning, unable to get that long one-two on track...Krissy's stooping to jab tummy; tidying up jug; sidestepping and feinting to keep blonde girl off balance. Stewart committing on select punches - stroking an authoritative right to jaw at one point; startling Miley a hook to chin at another...Cyrus' long legs taking the punches well, but her eyes show concern through 5.

R6: Smart jab forces Miley to ropes: she's showing earmuff, looking confused. Krissy driving in straight-righty to body, then staying out of range; dipping in to dig hooks to ribcage - dipping back out as Miley can't commit on receipts. Body attack has Cyrus grunting, flinching her elbows down...swinging wide right to jaw/short, biting jab to chin and MILEY'S HURT! Cyrus staring, toppling/sliding to her right along ropes...Krissy steps-with, pitches in an insurance right clean to chin - that's enough to blow out Miley's knees. Blonde girl crashes to right shoulder - rolls to her back - eyes shut tight in pain, but she can't get up. KO6 - Kristen Stewart in professional fashion.

AFter: Classy effort from Kstew - she's not the biggest or fastest in her peer-group, but good thoughtful offence and gritty toughness enough to offset lanky Miley. "Look, girls like Lilo, Miley - any of the Disney tramps really - they can't stand against the real thing," Stewart insists in postfight. "Miley had some chances - not gonna lie. I was hurt when she put me down - any real passion from her and I'd have gone out, but Miley's not a finisher. I think it broke her heart to see me shake off her power. Guess what Miley-girl: we're not all Lilo. Real stars get up."