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10 June 2012 Penelope Cruz vs Reese Witherspoon

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 7 months ago

Penelope Cruz 04.jpg Reese Witherspoon 05.jpg

Posted by simguy on June 10, 2012, 9:16 am

BEFORE: "To me, this fight and Scarlett's fight are the best tilts on the card," special commentator CHRISTINA RICCI says at ringside. "You've got two A-list celebs in the primes of their careers - this is what the FCBA is all about. Lemme tell you how this is going to go down. Pene killed at all the weigh-ins - you knew she would - she's a very pretty girl, and she's coming in tight and trim at a buck-fifteen or so. So that's great, but you know what? Penelope Cruz is soft...doesn't have the heart to hang in with spirited American resistance, and she'll definitely get that from Reese tonight.

Reese looks great for her - probably 110 give or take a penny: her rom-com weight. That's good, 'casue 6 weeks out she was still the 'puffy-mummy' you see in the beach candids and that wouldn't have gotten it done against Cruz. But I'm confident that a fit, focussed Reese can get inside and bully the Spaniard. Don't forget - Reese is one of the meanest beyotches in Hollywood. I think it's gonna be Reese beating down Pene inside of 6 rounds, then I'll probably swoop in and take care of Reese to establish my supremacy in this space!"

'Spoon in baby blue mommy bikini; small white gloves; long blonde damp, loose. Pene in bright yellow bikini; small black gloves; long black hair loose and damp.

During R1: Reese: elbows up, out to the sides, forearms stacked right atop left at her chest as she bulls forward. Pene: relaxed, wide stance; hands chest-high, elbows in; left hand jabbing oncoming blonde pate; nimble sidesteps-clockwise to turn Witherspoon's right flank. Reese out on the end of poke, frowning as she's rebuked on the way in...minute mark, she loads a right hand, only to munch on a pre-emptive short left uppercut to chin. 'Spoon put wobbly-butt: Pene drops short little hammerfists PAK! PAK! PAK! atop Reese's breast-tops, then shifts weight to back (right) foot to walk blondie onto short right uppercut to chin. Reese hurt, stumbling...Pene breezy-pivoting to her left, jabbing Reese's face as blonde-girl turns shabby, just in time to munch on a straight-poking Pene Cruz right hand to mouth. Cruz smiling - hopping out of range, then circling to her right...once Reese steps into range, Pene starts touching her jabs; sidestepping clockwise - just pasting Reese up bell to bell.

R2: Reese more energetic, bobbing her way in under Pene's jab, then whirling right/left to Spanish ribs...Cruz forced to leg away or risk ferocious toe-to-toe inside her jab-range. Minute of blonde pursuit gives way to a steady dose of Pene Cruz jabbing...brunette extending nicely, punching at Reese's mouth or cheekbones, then sliding in close, putting left shoulder on blonde forehead while keeping left hand across gut/right hand tight to cheek. Reese crowded/smothered here - whirling her fists in search of tummy or jug...Pene calm in the pocket, cuffing Reese cute little right hands on the ear, then pushing her off to restart outside. Cruz gradually imposing terms with her legs...final minute all Reese getting touched up, crowded, shoved off, walked down for Spanish points.

R3: Pene poppin' punches. Reese sluggishly forward in crossed-arm, elbows out to the sides as Cruz stitches left hand poke to blonde brow; slants straight right hands to mouth. Reese getting pasted, trying to slug-wide for respect, but Cruz covers up earmuff, steps inside the work to take punches on her shoulders, then she's dropping pesky little hammerfist lefts and rights atop Reese's jug-tops! Blonde girl grimacing, backing off from the mugging: cue darting jabs, short right crosses knocking at blonde face. Reese put wobbly-butt by accumulation...Pene relaxed, leggy, breezy and happy in comparison.

R4: Witherspoon proving resilient...she stubby jabs her way in, driving Pene to ropes, setting up on Spanish chest for the first time. Cruz laying back in ropes, cupping hands on Reese's ears...Witherspoon whirling away lefts and rights to hips and flanks - occasionally looping up and over Pene's arms for glancing blows at brunette head. Pene relatively safe in the pocket - arms blocking much of Reese's headshots, but blonde girl gets mitts on meat downstairs for a smacking shutout fourth.

R5: Pene back in her office - breezy pivoting steps clockwise; loosely grouped hands at her chest doling out spicy jabs/tart right crosses from medium or close range. Reese close enough to pull the trigger, but pre-empted...too often she's forced to bob on the spot, kept occupied by a busy-punching Pene through 5.

R6: Spanish friskiness continues...Reese lumping up, acquiring a punished, shiny patina of hurt on her face, courtesy Pene's pesky fists. Cruz getting off pop-pop-pop - gloves pelting Reese's head and shoulders, then Spanish-girl sidesteps, luring her blonde forward. Reese moving forward, bobbing in crossed arm...Pene able to pick blonde forehead up the short left uppercut off that front (left) leg, then hook-and-pivot around Reese's right flank. Blonde form unravels throughout the round...by the later stages, Pene's tattooing jug straight criss-cross lefts and rights, just raking blonde nuggets, then sidestepping away free of charge. Bell: HUGE grin Penelope Cruz...she's taking Reese out back the woodshed here and even Chris Ricci knows it!

R7: Pene in that relaxed, nimble stance, touching Reese up and loving it. Poor Witherspoon! Reese pushing forward with dogged determination, busting up, slowing down, then really catching hell as Pene dips left shoulder to lean and collect jagged left uppercuts jug and chin. Midway through, Reese stumbling forward into a bullseye right cross between the eyes...Pene pivots counter-clockwise as Reese stumbles forward, hitting blonde girl with three pinpoint straight rights in quick succession BEATING REESE TO HER KNEES! Witherspoon clattering to haunches and hands - she's busted up, shabby with hurt...blonde girl beats the count at "10" but ref waves this thing off TKO7.

AFTER: Pene wastes no time collecting Reese and prancing her around the ring for a gaudy walk of shame...rare A-list on A-list humiliation as Cruz poses battered Reese in all four corners; pauses to blow a kiss at a fuming Chris Ricci ringside. "As I batter Reese, so will I batter Christina," Spanish girl shrugs all cocksure in postfight. "Eet makes no difference to me. I yam superior in all respects to these leetle American peegs!"