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17 June 2012 Downtown Julie Brown vs Teri Hatcher

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 7 months ago

Downtown Julie Brown 05.jpg Teri Hatcher 04.jpg

Posted by Jac Fac on June 17, 2012, 1:45 pm

Written by Jac Fac

(Retro Bout Ca. 2004)

Julie Brown was taking flack from all angles, but especially from Kim Cattrall's costars who were busy ranking on her on every talk show they could get themselves booked on! Kristin Davis regaled David Letterman with how bad a beating Kim had administered to Julie in the Staten Island firehouse.

"No contest," laughed Davis. "Julie is kaput and out of the fighting business - probably for good," she concluded. Letterman wasn't convinced. "I don't think YOU really want to go in the ring with her, do you Kristin?" he chuckled.

"Welllllll, maybe not ME," was Davis' thoughtful reply. "But then, I'm more the jogging type anyway."

Cynthia Nixon and Ellen DeGeneres had a huge guffaw as Cynthia described in livid detail the sight of Julie's tawny body sprawled out cold on the concrete.

Kristin Davis put in a surprise appearance on Howard Stern's show and while she blushingly declined his offer to show her breasts, she did make a point of needling Robin Quivers about how, "Your sista Julie's butt really bounced off that fire truck before she hit the floor. Down and out baby, down and O-U-T!"

Even Teri Hatcher put in an appearance on Regis and Kelly Ripa's show, hoping to resurrect her own reputation by boasting about her own victory over Julie. "It was awesome," the busty Desperate Housewife gushed. I kicked her buns from her to Timbucktoo and back," she bragged. "And if she wants more, she knows my number. I'll be where she can find me any time"

Julie took all this in and a couple of days later, she was out jogging along the East River when she ran into Kristin Davis - just as she'd hoped.

"Hey there sweet thing; caught your chicken ass girlfriend on Letterman last night. You know what?" continued Julie.

"What?" shot back Kristin.

"Why Kristin I'm not the jogging type but I can beat your ass in a five miler if you want to take me on".

"Sure," smiled Davis confidently. "Let's have at it!"

Julie was setting the pace after three miles and was really having her way with Davis. She kicked at the right time after four miles and a beaten Kristen Davis could only look on helplessly as Julie smoked her down the stretch. 'Downtown' defeated Davis by an easy hundred yards.

Watching Kristin cross the finish line second, Julie snarled, "Now got tell your Big Doofus pal I'm coming after her! You got that?" Then she slammed Kristin with a hard right to the gut and watched the doe eyed 'Charlotte York' crumple to the pavement. "You're an easy mark there, sweet thing," Julie chuckled. "See ya later, loser!"

Julie ran off for coffee and when she took her seat at a table near the window and looked up, she saw none other than Teri Hatcher herself.

"Hey, I found ya didn't I, you braggart?" shouted Julie. "I want your ass in the ring next week. You got that, you jerk?"

"Got it!" was Hatcher's simple response.

"Naomi will set it up," said Julie with a smug sneer.

So it was that at the 'Den of Doom' Naomi Campbell introduced each fighter to lots of celebrities who were having libations and snacks. Julie had her trademark purple thong on and Teri was decked out in her white bikini.

Round one: Julie slams Teri hard in the jaw with her vicious left and hammers her with a leg buckling right to the gut. Teri is stunned from the start. "Been owing you this for months you big mouthed clown," said 'Downtown'. "Your ass is mine tonight."

Teri falls to Julie's combination to the head, but she's back up at four. As soon as Teri is upright, 'Downtown' drills her viciously again, this time with several more head shots. Teri's right eye is starting to swell and it's still the first round! Julie decks Teri again with a snapping right to the breadbasket, followed by a left hook the brunette never saw coming! The crowd in the 'den' is loving the sight of the "great" Teri Hatcher in ruins as she stumbles and staggers to her corner. Nicolette Sheridan is Teri's corner gal and she exhorts Teri, "Suck it up and take the fight to this b###h!".

Round two: Teri hits Julie (finally) with a good combination that rocks Julie a little. Not enough though. Julie fires right back and slams Teri hard into the ropes. Teri's long legs are quivering and she knows she's in trouble. Julie destroys Teri with brutal shots to the boobs and then to her face once more. She staggers Hatcher with another combination and delivers blow upon unanswered blow to Teri's exposed jaw. Hatcher is stumbling and trying to cover up but she and everyone else knows that Julie is beating Teri's ass to a fare-thee-well.

"Sleep tight asshole," chortles Julie as she wallops Teri with a devastating overhand right that ends the brunette's brief evening in the spotlight..

Teri's eyes glaze over as she pitches forward, her knees hit the canvas, then her whole body slowly cascades down; thighs, hips, belly, those luscious breasts and finally her face bounces on the canvas. She lays unmoving as the perfunctory "ten count" is administered - though everyone watching knew it could have gone to twenty, fifty or a hundred!

Naomi raises Julie's right hand as the hard-body straddles Teri's limp and prostrate figure. It's been a grand PAYBACK for Julie who's abso-####in'-lutely destroyed her hated rival, Teri Hatcher.

Now, Julie immediately goes into rigorous training preparing to head to California to take kick-boxing lessons from Linda Koslowski as she prepares for her 'revenge match' against the rugged, but older, Kim Cattrall.