If you are citizen of an European Union member nation, you may not use this service unless you are at least 16 years old.
You already know Dokkio is an AI-powered assistant to organize & manage your digital files & messages. Very soon, Dokkio will support Outlook as well as One Drive. Check it out today!

24 June 2012 Title Ch Neve Campbell vs Jenny McCarthy

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 6 months ago

Neve Campbell 10.jpg Jenny McCarthy 09.jpg

UNIFIED BANTAMWEIGHT TITLE

SITE: THE ASYLUM ARENA. PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on June 24, 2012, 9:36 pm

BEFORE:

"Yeah, this was my choice," says a smiling Neve. "Wiz always says the champion has the right to decide. I'm the champion. I made the decision. And I'm happy with it. Someone ELSE is about to be a lot LESS happy."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside, and all of the Top 25 have left the arena. All called back into the dressing rooms as we await the announcement...and the fight for the Unified Bantamweight Championship!"

Tess: "And, I was pointing out to Jenny during the break that we haven't seen three members of the Top 25, the Lookout! contingent of Cuthbert, Kelly, and Van Camp. So, I got in touch with Avril, who's confirmed they aren't here! According to Avril, Paris' girls never signed their contracts and have declined to participate. Not sure what the reasoning is, but Wiz can't be happy about it..."

O'Dell: "So, that leaves 22 possibilities, and only two people know which of those ladies it's going to be..."

One-Nothing wrong with me
Two-Nothing wrong with me
Three-Nothing wrong with me
Four-Nothing wrong with me

One-Something's got to give
Two-Something's got to give
Three-Something's got to give

Nowwwwwwwwww

Let The Bodies Hit The Floor
Let The Bodies Hit The Floor
Let The Bodies Hit The Floooor

O'Dell: "And here comes one of those two people, the Unified Bantamweight Champion, Neve Campbell!"

Tess: "Neve getting quite the reception from the home crowd...into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Mariska to reveal her normal black outfit..."

O'Dell: "And, the crowd now quietly buzzing. Anticipation building as Campbell leans against the ropes in her corner waiting..."

Tess: "Wiz playing showman here, stretching this out, but we're all about to find out..."

O'Dell: "Lights have gone out...getting awfully quiet in here..."

Rule Britannia!
Britannia rule the waves!

O'Dell: "Beckinsale! Kate Beckinsale on her way down to the ring..."

Tess: "But Beckinsale wasn't IN the Top 25 at the time of the contract signings!"

O'Dell: "Let's remember, though, that the Lookout! girls didn't sign. Would you put it past Wiz to use one of those spots to bring in a surprise fighter?"

Tess: "Good point...but Mac isn't going to like this, especially since she just beat Kate..."

O'Dell: "Lights coming up and Kate headed this way..." (Coughing)

Tess: "What are you..." (Coughing)

O'Dell: "Kate...(Cough) what are you (Cough)..."

Tess: "What are you doing here, Kate, and why are you spraying Mac's chair and headset with disinfectant?"

Kate: "Though I suspect the only way to TRULY disinfect these would be by BURNING, this shall have to do. HBO has asked me to join you ladies to counterbalance what will certainly be McCarthy's biased commentary on the title fight..."

Tess: "Mac isn't going to be pleased that you've taken her seat..."

Kate: "As if I CARE what that trollop thinks..."

O'Dell: "Lights back down and..."

All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus
When I crack that whip everybody gon' trip just like a circus

O'Dell: "And the crowd on its feet, because the battle of the Hall of Famers is on! Britney Spears on her way to the ring..."

Kate: "Not at ALL surprised by this decision. The Grand Wizard, of course, has great affection for Ms. Spears, and she IS the number one contender..."

O'Dell: "Britney into the ring as the lights come up..."

Kate: "She's not gloved up!"

Tess: "She's going into Neve's corner to join Jewel and Mariska...it's not Britney!"

Kate: "Then who..."

O'Dell: "Lights back down now..."

Oh, the shark, babe
Has such teeth dear

Kate: "Well, Allison Mack. Again, not surprised Wiz would keep this in-house for his first title defense..."

Tess: "That is NOT the Bobby Darin version that Allison uses..."

O'Dell: "Because it's not Allison Mack, it's..."

Kate: "Oh, HELL no!"

Tess: "Oh, Hell YES! That is Jenny 'Mac The Knife' McCarthy, and she is gloved up and headed to the ring with the Sceej posse in her wake..."

Kate: "Her MAJESTY will hear of this!"

O'Dell: "The Queen isn't exactly young at this point. How about we not test her constitution with the nonsense that goes on around the FCBA?"

Tess: "J-Mac into the ring, helped off with the robe to reveal the familiar red bikini. She and Neve shooting daggers at one another across the ring..."

O'Dell: "And they're going to be throwing punches in a few seconds. Tess, obviously you couldn't pre-pick this one..."

Tess: "No way. Not touching this."

Kate: "Well, I shall make a pick. I believe Neve Campbell will defeat this ragamuffin Playmate, just as I shall defeat her in our best-of-seven!"

Tess: "You sound pretty sure of yourself, Kate..."

Kate: "I can defeat her in ANY sort of matchup, even one of those low-born bodypaint beach fights!"

O'Dell: "Well, let's see if Neve Campbell can defeat her tonight. There's the bell and the first is underway."

Kate: "Campbell starting to pressure right away. Moving forward, cutting off the ring, going body on McCarthy."

O'Dell: "J-Mac wants to stick and move, on the toes, wants to box, but Neve's having none of it, squaring Jenny up, cutting her off, working the body..."

Tess: "The idea of that body work, of course, is to take away Jenny's legs. No doubt Neve remembers their last fight, when Jenny legged out a close decision."

O'Dell: "Mac trying to get some space, but not able to do it. Neve pressuring. Nothing fancy. Just getting in Jenny's face, and getting work done. McCarthy being bottled up."

Kate: "This is excellent work by Ms. Campbell. Out thinking and out boxing The Trollop."

O'Dell: "There's the bell ending the first, and Neve Campbell gets the early lead."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "We're into the second of a scheduled ten for the bantamweight gold, and Neve Campbell right back to her fight plan, putting the pressure on Jenny McCarthy, cutting off the ring, bottling her up, working the body."

Kate: "Campbell has great power, of course, and all those blows to the body are going to add up as this fight goes on."

O'Dell: "No doubt that's exactly what Neve's planning on. She's using the left jab mainly as a waste punch, using it to move Jenny around, setting up right hooks to the body."

Tess: "McCarthy trying to box for space, can't get any..."

O'Dell: "GOOD RIGHT HAND, JENNY! MCCARTHY WALKS CAMPBELL INTO A RIGHT HAND!"

Tess: "Neve now covering up as Jenny lets them go! McCarthy banging away at Campbell's high guard, looking to win the title with a single blow. Campbell backed into the ropes, covering up."

O'Dell: "Jenny hooking body now, getting off thick, jabbing to the head with her left, banging at Neve's gloves with the right. Campbell tying up now. McCarthy punching free at the bell!"

Tess: "Jenny stole that round late. 19-19 after two."

Kate: "Unfortunate. One lucky punch."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third round begins now, and Campbell right back to her plan. Moving forward. Pressuring J-Mac, not giving her room to move."

Kate: "Neve really IS masterfully cutting off the ring. McCarthy being regularly cornered and worked to the body."

O'Dell: "Neve undeterred by McCarthy's big right hand last round. Got a plan she's confident in and she's sticking with it."

Tess: "Reminds me a lot of what she did against Glau. Moving her feet, trapping her opponent, and then working her over in close."

O'Dell: "McCarthy clinching now. Trying to force a break and get space that way. Neve shoves her off, digs a couple of hooks to the body at the bell."

Tess: "Good round for Neve. Up 29-28 through three."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "We're into the fourth, and it's looking an awful lot like the third. Campbell keeping up consistent pressure. Not letting J-Mac breath. McCarthy being backed up and cut off."

Tess: "Mac seems to be looking for another one of those big right hands to the detriment of the rest of her offense. Not getting much done at the moment."

O'Dell: "On the other hand, Neve's getting quite a bit of work done. Continuing to use the left jab to set up thick right hands, mostly to the body. Continuing to bottle up the blonde..."

Kate: "Bottle blonde, indeed! Her hair color is as fake as her chest!"

O'Dell: "Neve hooking the ribs, trapping Jenny against the ropes and lathering those lats. McCarthy wrapping up around the head, trying to wrestle free, but Campbell not having it."

Tess: "Mac has advantages in this fight, but strength isn't one of them. She isn't going to outwrestle Neve."

O'Dell: "And Campbell still banging body at the bell. Another very effective round for Neve Campbell."

Tess: "And she's built a small lead. 39-37 through four."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "The fifth round underway now and Campbell's advance stopped quickly as J-Mac gets off with a nice combination, then slips away to the center of the ring. Neve squares up and moves forward again, but Mac sticks and moves, avoiding Campbell's pressure."

Tess: "This is more of the fight Mac wants. She's getting off first and finding space. Making Neve chase."

O'Dell: "McCarthy is definitely calling the tune so far in this round. Moving well side to side, snapping out that left hand, then following up with a hard right. Neve not able to close or cut the ring off..."

Tess: "THERE'S THE RIGHT FROM MAC!"

O'Dell: "McCarthy with that sidewinder right hand and she hurt Campbell with it for a second time! Jenny again looking for the off switch. Neve covering up, bobbing and weaving the upper body, rolling the shoulders with McCarthy's blows. Just looking to run clock."

Tess: "Jenny CLUBBING hooks against Neve's gloves. Thinks she can end this with one punch..."

O'Dell: "Won't happen this round. There's the bell and the fifth is in the books."

Kate: "Two lucky punches and The Trollop is in the fight. 48-47 at the end of the first 15."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "Moving into the second half of the scheduled 10, and Neve once again with the pressure, crowding J-Mac, cutting her off. McCarthy trying to find some space and not having much..."

Tess: "SHOVEL HOOK!"

O'Dell: "AND DOWN GOES MCCARTHY! Neve's liver punch lands and J-Mac flat on the mat. Campbell to a neutral corner. Referee's count at five. J-Mac to a sitting position. She's going to beat it. She's up at seven and takes the mandatory, and here comes Neve! Campbell going right back to work on the body. McCarthy banging back at her now."

Tess: "Mac doesn't have her legs, can't try to stick and move, has to stand in there and slug. Thing about Jenny is, she can DO that effectively."

O'Dell: "And she's doing it right now, giving as good as she gets in close, gutting it out in obvious pain. Neve banging those ribs, trying to finish off J-Mac's legs..."

Kate: "MIGHT want to think about going upstairs and trying to finish off J-Mac, PERIOD..."

O'Dell: "J-Mac landing a good combination to the head as Neve digs away to the body. Both ladies getting off some good shots as the bell rings!"

Kate: "Neve didn't get the finisher, but the knockdown will do. It's 58-55 now, through six. Campbell is back in the driver's seat."

ROUND SEVEN:

O'Dell: "Back to action now, and the pattern is set. Campbell pressuring and crowding, McCarthy looking for space."

Tess: "This all goes back to the last time the two fought, Jenny. In this rivalry, traditionally, J-Mac's been willing to fight Neve's fight, bang with her. And the result was Neve winning four straight. That changed last time around. J-Mac boxed and moved. Made Neve chase. And she racked up enough points for a decision. Neve isn't having that tonight. She's going to be in Jenny's face all night, damn the proverbial torpedoes."

O'Dell: "And McCarthy has a few of those in her arsenal. Good left-right gets Neve's attention! Mac effective inside when she can slip and counter, and she's doing that well right now."

Tess: "Neve still concentrating on the body, boring in, cutting off the ring..."

O'Dell: "Good right hand, Mac! Rings Campbell's bell! J-Mac a good combination follow up. She's dodging and dipping, getting into a rhythm. Scoring points."

Tess: "Campbell dogged. Keeping at her, but Mac pretty strong off the mat, Jenny!"

O'Dell: "That she is, finishing with a flurry. Seventh to J-Mac!"

Kate: "Campbell still up 67-65. Still in control."

Tess: "But Mac's NEVER in control and is just about impossible TO control. This is far from over."

ROUND EIGHT:

O'Dell: "We're into the eighth now, and Neve dialing up the pressure if that's possible. Advancing behind her left jab, going body with hooks off it. Smothering McCarthy."

Tess: "Mac trying to tie up to force breaks, looking to slip past Neve into open spaces, but Campbell's cutting off the ring, trapping McCarthy, making her exchange."

O'Dell: "And the exchanges all going Neve's way this round. Mac's slipping and dipping no longer working, mostly because Neve's doing the majority of her work downstairs. Banging that rib cage and belly."

Kate: "If Campbell can bank this round, she's just about home..."

O'Dell: "And she's banking plenty of points. Grinding consistently away. Mac not hurt, but getting outworked and outpointed."

Tess: "Got to be frustrating for Mac. Just can't get space."

O'Dell: "She'll get some now. There's the bell ending the eighth, and Neve Campbell now has a comfortable lead."

Tess: "77-74. Mac's going to need something big in these last two rounds."

ROUND NINE:

O'Dell: "Six scheduled minutes left, and Neve Campbell appears determined to spend them about six inches from Jenny McCarthy..."

Kate: "I DO hope Ms. Campbell has had her shots..."

O'Dell: "Not sure if she's had them, but she's getting them in. Neve again cutting off the ring and boxing Jenny in, then going to work on her body. McCarthy looking for something big upstairs. She's rocked Neve a couple of times tonight and needs to do it at least once more to have a shot at winning the gold..."

Tess: "This is the risky part of Neve's strategy. Mac has plenty of power, and fighting in close quarters with her like this can be VERY dangerous..."

O'Dell: "Campbell thumping shots to the ribs, has Jenny against the ropes. McCarthy lands a good left to the head, takes one to the belly in response."

Kate: "Campbell has been VERY consistent tonight. Checking the punch stat, it shows that, with the exception of a pair of rounds, she's thrown and landed just about the same number of punches each round."

O'Dell: "Nothing spectacular from Neve. Just good, solid work round after round, and, as the bell rings to end the ninth, it has her three minutes from successfully defending her bantamweight titles."

Tess: "Deck is stacked against Mac. 87-83. No hope on the cards. Only one way to win it now."

ROUND TEN:

O'Dell: "Into the tenth and final and Neve right on Jenny again. Working the body, pressuring, forcing Mac backward. Making her exchange on Neve's terms."

Kate: "Shouldn't be exchanging at ALL frankly. Run clock here."

Tess: "I said this earlier tonight and I'll say it again. Front Street fighters don't run."

O'Dell: "And Neve certainly not doing that here. Still working her hooks to the body...RIGHT HAND, J-MAC!"

Tess: "Neve's hurt! Great right from McCarthy!"

Kate: "What a bloody stupid..."

O'Dell: "And Jenny all in now. Got to go for broke and she's doing it. Winging away with both hands as Neve covers up on the ropes...AND NOW MAC WANTS RACK!"

Kate: "Speaking of bloody stupid! She needs a KO here and she's wasting time and effort!"

Tess: "Not sure its a waste of time. I've seen women stopped that way."

O'Dell: "And that's exactly what Jenny's trying to do! She's banging leather into any exposed part of Neve's anatomy, looking for the one shot that will...DOWN GOES CAMPBELL! THERE IT WAS! A SNEAKY LEFT HOOK AND NEVE DROPS TO HER HANDS AND KNEES!"

Kate: "GET UP! GET UP!"

O'Dell: "McCarthy back to a neutral corner. Referee picks up the count at three. Four. Five. Six. Neve getting to her feet. She's up at eight. Wobbly. Takes the mandatory. And HERE COMES JENNY! CROWD ON ITS FEET. THE ROAR IS DEAFENING! McCarthy firing everything up to and including the proverbial kitchen sink! Splits the gloves with a right, whacks a left to the side of the head...IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! REFEREE HAS WAIVED IT OFF! MCCARTHY HITS THE HAIL MARY!"

Kate: "Nooooooooo! Noooooooo!"

Tess: "Wait...wait..."

O'Dell: "A 39 year old staring down the barrel of retirement, given up by many as shot, has just come out of NOWHERE to win the bantamweight title!"

Kate: "This...no...this..."

O'Dell: "McCarthy across the ring, leaping into the arms of her handlers..."

Tess: "Hang on. Hang on. I'm seeing the replay. Check the replay. Check the clock. Watch the official time keeper. Look. The clock runs out and the bell rings, but no one can hear it! Now, watch. The fight continues, but the time keeper signals the referee. Look at the ref. He sees him and..."

O'Dell: "Oh...no. He sees him and stops J-Mac because the fight's OVER. He didn't stop the fight. The round ended..."

Kate: "WE GO TO THE CARDS! WE GO TO THE CARDS!"

O'Dell: "And Mac is finding that out right now, by the looks of things in the Sceej corner..."

Tess: "Shut off the corner mic, gang..."

O'Dell: "Mac going ape now as the decision is being announced, and the winner by UD10 and STILL Unified Bantamweight Champion is 'The Body Snatcher', Neve Campbell!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "There's bedlam in the ring, security up there keeping the Sceej corner and Front Street's people apart, and, in the middle of it all is Tess Valmore with our winner, Neve Campbell..."

Tess: "Neve, you said pre-fight that you made the choice of your opponent..."

Neve(smiling): "Got the idea from McAdams. She won the straps and immediately offered a fight to her biggest rival. Figured she'd dangle the straps in front of me, then crush my dreams. But I crushed HERS. But, I give her credit for the plan. It was a good one. And that's why I wanted McCarthy. One last chance at the belts. Only to have her dreams crushed. By me. Again. McAdams and now McCarthy. This has been a great year!"

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and Jenny being led out of the ring..."

McCarthy(shouting): "What are YOU looking at Beckinsale?"

Kate(shouting back): "A LOWBORN TRAMP!"

McCarthy: "I WILL KILL YOU, YOU..."

Join us next month for Asylum In An Empire State Of Mind.