(Courtney Thorne-Smith Retirement Tour)

Posted by Simguy on 2/2/2007, 5:53 am

“I’ve always been a huge limiting factory in Courtney’s career,” asserts a smug Helen Hunt in preflight. “I was always there to deny her outside of the ring, so it’s only fitting that it should be me who denies her in it. I’ll use her last bout to restart my own fighting career, and that’ll be her legacy: she’ll always be remembered as my springboard fight!” Smith poised, calm at the podium--she won’t be baited by Helen. “I’ve always been compared to Helen in the entertainment business,” Courtney admits ruefully, “and yes, the comparison has been favorable. She’s always been held just a notch higher than me and I won’t deny that has hurt over the years, but that’s why I want to notch higher than me and I won’t deny that has hurt over the years, but that’s why I want to finish up against her. I’m going to share the hurt with Helen after all this time, and when we’re done--everyone’s going to know how wrong they were, all along. I’m better than Helen Hunt, and I always was.” Courtney ship shape in a nautical royal blue halter with white lapels, royal blue bikini bottoms with thin white belt, white gloves. Hunt comparatively frumpy in pastel blue bra, beige panties, white gloves.

During R1: Court showing respect early--lots of footwork as she punches brisk one-twos into Helen’s raised guard, then looks to sink home the hook to ribs downstairs. Hunt advancing, dukes up, blocking shots and punching straight, jarring lefts or rights off her front foot. Sharp pokes taking Smith between the eyes, knocking her head back--Courtney wisely stepping out and constantly circling to the side rather than letting Hunt dial in. Helen the aggressor in a tactical first.

R2: Hunt’s short, deceptive right hand once knocked out Catherine Zeta Jones: she lands it early in the second to stagger and shake Courtney Thorne Smith. Smith’s leg locking up--eyes bewildered, lips parted--she stumbles away, managing to disengage before Helen can mop up with authority. Good recovery for Courtney rest of the way--she’s retreating, but timing Helen’s approach, potting advancing blonde with straight right hands and walk-away, clawing hooks off the step-right. Smith drops another round, but gets her legs back, avoids a potentially disastrous beat down.

R3: Court spritzing jabs--punching into Helen’s raised guard to free the blonde, then looking ribcage with rights or lefts. Snith depositing robust shellack to midsection, then stepping away--Courtney setting an ingenue pace with her still-lively legs. Hunt stalking/blocking--hands up, elbows in, chi tucked--she stepping forward resolutely, but not cutting off the ring--all too often missing as Smith scoots round either flank.

R4: Courtney continues to sample the hunt breadbasket and ribcage, setting up body shots with brisk-tapping one-twos into Hunt’s sturdy guard. Helen’s tummy bunching up under hot contact, meat sounding out with fresh spank as Smith lights it up: Hunt grimacing a little, looking a little cranky as Courtney’s able to land, then scoot, Smith upbeat, eyes bright, alert--she’s looking quick, sharp through .

R5; Helen answers to Courtney’s body as blondes lean in shoulder to shoulder to hook midsections. Just hard wok--both girls keeping right hands tight to cheeks while plundering tummy via batting left hands. Toe-to-toe not a good strategy for Smith--Helen slowly getting the upper hand, landing heavier, bumping Smith off a shoulder down the stretch to get Courtney baby-stepping backward. Fight meanders to ropes--Courtney’s dukes at her temples, face tight as Helen enjoys a moment of supremacy, thickly pounding Courtney’s abs at the bell.

R6: Courtney spritzes jabs, sidesteps, circles away, comes back in: all about the footwork for Ms. Thorne-Smith tonight. Hunt reduced to blocking and encroaching when Courtney wants to do. Minute mark--Court steps in off the jab, dips her shoulder, jerks a tidy left uppercut short between Helen’s mitts: tuff little chin0check puts Hunt wobbly butt/startled. Hunt responding bravely as Courtney had to Helen’s firm touch earlier: Smith caught trying to lather Helen out as Helen drops short, sharp right hands and hooks up the middle, forcing Smith to disengage. Court on her bicycle--she’s got that uppercut in the bank--she roams the rings, feinting and jabbing at Hunt to maintain distance. Helen the aggressor but can’t close against nimble Courtney: Smith socks away points.

R7: Helen grimly going to body via swinging right hand leads: Courtney stepping to her right to evade, countering brisk one-twos at Helen’s head. Nip/tuck punching as Helen presses, Courtney plays matadora midring. Halfway mark--Court with that quick one-two punches Helen with her gloves up top: Smith pops hips-right, digs a scrumptious left hook to Helen’s floating rib. Helen bunching up--face stricken--she hugs her body, step backward and TAKES A KNEE! Tears pushing down the sides of Hunts face--she’s hurt, but brave--struggling up after 8 to shake off the body blast. ON COMES COURTNEY! Smith’s eyes wide and blue as she scoots-to: Helen grimacing, sits in ropes, covers up earmuff, tilts forward to receive the pasting. Court in wide stance, muscling up here--pushing off the balls of either foot to slop her hardest rights and lefts against Helen’s ears. Pounding away wide sets Courtney’s dependable little left uppercut: jagged punch catching Helen flush onna chin, loosening her up terribly. Lathering beat down visibly reducing Hunt--she’s wilting, head starting to spank around on impact, hands looking distracted--HELEN’S OUT ON HER FEET! Hunt starting to take ruinous punches when the ref cradles her to safety: Smith leaps away the TKO7 victrix!

After: Storybook finishes in the FCBA rare indeed: most women, even great women, wind up their careers soaking up brutal beatings at the hands of girls half their age while former fans gloat at the tragic fall. Smith bucks the trend, sending each and every of her final adversaries down to defeat and finishing her storied career with a TKO over a woman who had frequently thwarted Courtney in the past. “I’m so happy,” Courtney blubbers, wiping at jubilant tears in post fight. “These last few weeks have been like a bad dream come true for me--I’m leaving on a high note!” hunt sulking in her corner--her own career in tatters, her latest comeback shredded by Courtney: storybook endings usually come at someone’s expense, and Helen footed the bill for Courtney’s tonight.

Reposted by Archer 7/14/12.