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11 July 2012 5: Halle Berry vs Linda Kozlowski

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 6 months ago

Halle Berry 06.jpg Linda Kozlowski 02.jpg

Posted by Archer on July 11, 2012, 1:03 pm

Ca. 2004

Story by Jac Fac

Linda and Halle had competed in the ring four times with each winning twice. They'd also gone against one another in basketball, beach football and running. Decidedly Halle was the faster opponent both with her fists and her feet as well. Basketball one on one had been her big domain over the slower and vertically challenged Kozlowski. Halle reveled in rejecting Linda's shots time after time while easily soaring over the blonde for uncontested scores. Still, Linda was a plodder and pursuer and never could be counted on to quit.

Their very first boxing match had ended in a stunning knockout for Kozlowski when things seemed to be going against her. Linda had also beaten Halle in a kickboxing match with Berry dressed as the 'Catwoman.' Two other times Halle had defeated Linda and in 2005 Kozlowski decided to 'retire' from the celebrity boxing, ceding the stage to Halle and others. During this lull Linda and Halle had met numerous times for lunch and dinner and developed into good friends, still, even with the friendship there was a tension and both wanted another shot at the other.

Linda broke down first, “Halle I have to admit I miss the adrenaline rush I used to get when we faced each other.”

“Me too,” gushed Halle as she touched glasses with her old foe. “You thinkin’ what I'm thinking?”

“For sure,” came the reply from Linda. “I think I can still take you too even though I'm jumping at 50 in the next couple of years.”

“Ain't gonna happen that way Linda,” smirked Halle. “I'm just gonna have to nail your ass once and for all and close you down Ms. Dundee, ain't I?” remarked Halle.

“I'm ready to go any time Halle…and you'll be berry, BERRY, sorry,” laughed Linda with one of her really corny lines.

“California or New York?” snapped Halle angrily.

“I'll arm wrestle you for it,” came Linda's answer.

They locked hands and Linda's shorter more powerful arm had the stronger grip and she beat Halle in front of quite a few other diners who were impressed and applauded her.

“That's only the start folks!” announced Linda. “Next month this gal is going to be lights out on the canvas courtesy of yours truly.”

Halle was incensed and she quickly stood up with her hands on her hips and snarled at Linda, “You're the one who's gonna be damned sorry for this bullshit showboating and you'll find that out.”

“Sure, sure,” chuckled Kozlowski as she made it official that Madison Square Garden in the Big Apple was where they'd have it out.

The next month was fight night and Linda arrived in the ring first in her dark robe and flips it off to reveal a hard body in that great brown thong from ‘Crocodile Dundee’. Linda's legs are in superb shape from many miles of road work.

Halle arrived wearing her 'Die another Day' bikini and the crowd loved the outfit! Pierce Brosnan sits in the stands near Halle's corner as part of her rooting section and Elke Sommer is the ref.

As they're introduced Halle suddenly grabs Linda and kisses her full on the mouth while running her gloves over Linda's bare ass cheeks.

“I like your man Hogan, blondie; he's mine after I knock you out!”

“Don't bet on it!” smiles Linda. “By the way, you just kissed your ass goodbye in case you didn't know it.”

“Get fighting ladies,” orders Sommer, struggling to contain her giggling.

Round One- Halle is using the ring with her quick feet and is feinting Linda effectively as she delivers a vicious right to Linda's midsection. Linda K. backs up and then plows in with a volley of her own. Her blows are sharp and on the mark forcing Halle to back up. Linda jackhammers Berry hard with a jaw shot which causes the tawny star's legs to quiver just a bit. Berry retaliates with a flurry of head shots which rock Linda. Those quick Berry hands are scoring points. Linda tries cutting off the ring to her advantage but Halle knew she'd do that. Halle had trained with Samantha Fox who also is built compactly and is strong but a plodding type. Berry finishes the round with several more good head shots to Linda and claims the first round on all cards by a slim margin.

Round Two- Linda must force the fight and knows it. Berry is dancing and looking for an opening. She attempts to pick off Linda's left hook but Linda then fires a great right cross behind it which slams hard into Berry's jaw. This blow sends Halle flying across the ring and down hard on her ass. She is back on her feet at six but her eyes are a tad glassy. She is trying to focus on Linda's midsection and attempts a body shot combo which Linda blocks and uses her harder punching power to punish Halle Berry with brutal shots to the solar plexus. Berry is in pain and looking to avoid more during this round. The blonde is pursuing her near the ropes and not letting up. Her strategy of forcing the fight is paying off very well. Kozlowski floors Berry again with a left hook. The darker fighter falls again and appears in trouble. It's questionable whether she is even competitive now. Halle's legs are rubbery as she gets up at eight. Linda rams her hard to the gut once more as the bell sounds. That was Linda's round all the way.

Round Three- Berry is confused and hurt as her corner gal Toni Braxton exhorts her to use her combinations and foot speed. Kozlowski does not let the momentum in her favor go away. Linda batters the wavering Halle Berry mercilessly all around the ring and slams her down once again with a right cross. Halle is on her knees trying to get back up. She is barely on her feet at eight when Linda wallops her with a left hook which drives her body backwards as she falls on her ass as her legs splay up in the air. Halle lies motionless now on her back with a swollen face as Elke Sommer counts her out and raises Linda's gloves. Kozlowski can now go out a solid winner over her nemesis of a number of fights.

The sequel- Halle throws a huge victory party for Linda Kozlowski who she declares her 'all time conqueror.' They kiss again on the dais and Halle raises Linda's right hand, then bows to her in signaling her total defeat.