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11 July 2012 Lola Falana vs Joey Heatherton

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 6 months ago

RETRO BOUT 1966

Posted by Archer on July 11, 2012, 1:25 pm

Story by Jac Fac

Tale of the Tape: Joey (22 y/o, 5'5", 34-20-32); Lola (24 y/o, 34B-24-36) Time: 1966. Place: Aircraft Carrier Forrestal somewhere off Viet Nam. Cast- Bob Hope with his entourage; Lola Falana, Joey Heatherton, Ann Margaret and Gerry Colonna the comedian (plus thousands of sailors and marines!)

The Bob Hope USO show is entertaining the troops during the Viet Nam war. Bob Hope had serious misgivings of bringing both Joey and Lola on this trip. Each had an ego and the combo might be volatile. He didn't know how right he was. From the get go these two gals were on each others nerves and both claimed to be “star of the show” as well as Hope's favorite. Old Robert was spending more time separating the two prima donnas and it was proving quite taxing to all concerned. All came to a head one night after a show when Joey commented rudely about Lola's performance during the warmup.

“You might have those long eye lashes and come hither look, but you lack all kinds of talent,” sniped Joey.

Lola walked over to her antagonist, “Tell you what there Merry Mailman's daughter, how's about you and me settling this whole mess up topside in the ring? I say you're a lilly livered little priss you Long Island wuss. Hell, they make em tougher in my town of Camden you know what I'm saying?”

Joey had a hot temper and knew she was being “called out”.

“You're on there whatever your name is….Little Lulu?“

Word got out to the sailors and Marines. The Navy would provide some boxing lessons for Lola while the Marines would coach Joey.

Fight night! Joey is in a hot dance outfit and has a marine robe on which is scarlet and gold. She peels that off to the oohs and aahs of sailors and marines. Lola is in a navy blue robe and takes that off to reveal a bikini brief. She is drop dead gorgeous and Joey doesn't like the cheering Lola gets at all.

Round One
Lola dances smartly away from the “southpaw” Joey and flicks a couple of jabs which connect. Joey's head goes back. Lola fires a vicious right to Joey's midriff and the Long Islander groans in pain. “Hey where's your big punch there blondie,” chides Lola? Joey does nail Lola with a good straight left but Lola isn't that fazed. Lola jams Joey with a left / right to the body and pickles her with a good right cross to the jaw which sends sweat flying off of Joey. Bell sounds and Lola is winning.

Round Two
Lola concentrates on delivering head shots and begins to create a solid swelling around Joey's right eye. Joey is pulverized again and again with body shots. She backpedaling. “Hey c'mon there little missy,” taunts Lola. “I thought those jarheads trained you better than that!” Joey roars into Falana with her best shot which is a straight left. Lola's head snaps slightly but she isn't anywhere near going down. Lola wins round two.

Round Three
Lola is really letting Joey have it and then dissing her as her combo's continue scoring around Joey's eyes. She wants Joey “set up” for the big kill. It comes... Lola announces, “Time for the Merry Mailman's daughter to go down now” and she coldcocks Joey with a big left to the gut followed by a right uppercut. Joey stumbles and staggers backwards. Her legs are bowed and she's hanging on….barely!. Lola slams her again by the shot featured on the cover of “STARS AND STRIPES “ (the Armed Forces newspaper.) It's a left hook which lands squarely on Joey's jaw. Joey Heathton falls to Lola Falana with that hit. She's face down on the canvas with the navy band cranking up “Anchors Aweigh”.