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12 August 2012 Amanda Seyfried vs Lea Michele

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 5 months ago

Amanda Seyfried 06.jpg Lea Michele 01.jpg

"An Empire State of Mind at the Asylum" PPV

(Site: Asylum Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on August 12, 2012, 8:17 pm'

BEFORE:

"Amanda's a failure," says a smiling Lea. "Everyone knows that. She's had plenty of chances, and she just keeps proving she's not good enough. It's time for her to move aside and make room for prettier, more talented fighters...like ME."

"Everyone knows Lea thinks she's all that," says Amanda, no smile evident. "She's a nasty diva who thinks she's entitled because she's such a big 'star'. Well, tonight, she IS entitled. Because I'm going to give her a coupon for one free a** kicking, courtesy of a REAL star."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside, and that's 'Gives You Hell' you're hearing booming through the arena, but that's not The All-American Rejects doing the singing..."

McCarthy: "You know, The All-American Rejects would be a good name for Weirdo's stable..."

Tess: "Except that many of them aren't, you know, AMERICANS..."

McCarthy: "SHUT IT, WALMART!"

O'Dell: "If you wouldn't mind if I finished what I was saying before the audience gets blind drunk, the singer of this particular version would be the lovely Lea Michele, and she's now climbing into the ring and being helped off with the robe to reveal a nice pink bikini she's chosen for her FCBA debut..."

McCarthy: "Well, if we can't call Weirdo's girls 'The All AMERICAN Rejects, how about just 'The Rejects'..."

Tess: "Or, we could channel a different rock band, 'Better Than Ezra', and call them 'Better Than J-Mac.'"

McCarthy: "WHAT? THEY AREN'T..."

Tess: "Hmm. Torv? TKO. Mack? KO. Neve? Unanimous decision. Seems to me 'Better Than J-Mac' has beaten you THREE TIMES IN A ROW..."

O'Dell: "Oh, for..."

McCarthy: "I WAS ROBBED! THEY STOLE THAT FIGHT FROM ME! THAT'S RIGHT CAMPBELL! YOU CAN HEAR ME! I WAS ROBBED! I WON THAT FIGHT! THOSE BELTS ARE MINE! DON'T YOU SNICKER AT ME YOU..."

Alien vs. Predator vs. Freddy vs. Jason vs. Snooki and JWoww

Dona Speir

Cynthia Brimhall

Hope-Marie Carlton

Roberta Vasquez

McCarthy: "...had to turn down the lead in that because of my NBC show..."

Tess: "Who were you playing, Alien or Predator?"

McCarthy: "SHUT UP, WALMART OR SO HELP ME...

Kathy Shower

Devin DeVasquez

Suzi Simpson

Carrie Westcott

And Julie Strain as "Snooki"

O'Dell: "...calm down so the fans don't actually have to WATCH that flaming ball of CRAP?"

Tess: "Um...I think we're back..."

O'Dell: "And just in time as that's 'Mama Mia' by that Swedish supergroup ABBA you hear, and here comes one of the stars of the film of the same name, 'The Assassin', Amanda Seyfried!"

Tess: "Amanda into the ring, helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve..."

O'Dell: "Nice yellow bikini and the crowd appreciating how she fills it out..."

McCarthy: "They're actually cheering because Jewel and Neve are keeping their clothes ON..."

Tess: "That wasn't half bad, Mac..."

McCarthy: "You're not the ONLY comic relief around here, Walmart!"

Tess: "Not by a long shot..."

O'Dell: "Well, speaking of long shots, let's get some picks. Tess is on record as favoring Seyfried. What do you think, Mac?"

McCarthy: "I think Michele is right. Seyfried's a failure who hasn't developed, no surprise considering the losers she's working with at Front Street. I have no doubt she's fighting for her job tonight, as the Weirdo is all 'flavor of the month' and Seyfried's lost three straight. Lea's a tyro, so I suspect Seyfried will win, but I wouldn't be surprised if Michele pulls the upset and greases the skids for Amanda to be sent packing from Front Street."

O'Dell: "Let's find out. There's the bell for round one, and Amanda right across the ring and letting fly. Seyfried VERY aggressive. Going right at the tyro. Nothing fancy about this..."

McCarthy: "And more than a little sloppy, too. But she's got Lea backing up and covering up. And she IS landing some leather."

Tess: "Amanda was not at all happy about some of what Lea said leading up to this one, and it looks like she's taking out a little of that frustration on Michele right now."

O'Dell: "Seyfried hammering away at the body now, then swinging for the fences upstairs...missing as much as she's hitting, but she's got Lea thrown completely onto the defensive..."

McCarthy: "RIGHT HOOK! Michele's hurt..."

O'Dell: "Lea staggered...by a short right hook...OVERHAND RIGHT AND DOWN SHE GOES! Michele blown right to her back and Seyfried staring down at her for a second before hustling back to her corner. Referee begins the count. Lea rolls to her belly at four. Pushes up to her hands and knees...begins to stand...and falls right back to the canvas!"

McCarthy: "Ask this kid how many fingers you're holding up and she's going to say 'Cleveland'..."

O'Dell: "Referee's holding up eight. Nine. TEN! IT'S OVER. Our second consecutive first round knockout! And our winner by KO1 is 'The Assassin', Amanda Seyfried!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore."

Tess: "I'm with our winner, Amanda Seyfried, and, Amanda, you didn't waste any time tonight..."

Amanda: "She had a LOT to say before this fight about how I'm a failure. Well, I didn't fail to knock her a** into next week, did I? And, despite what my good friend Kristen said up here a few minutes ago, I'M the top flyweight at Front Street. And I'm not going to fail to prove THAT, either.