Posted by Simguy on 9/24/2004, 7:29 am.

Before: Funny how girls see each other. “Hilarie’s this little twig,” says equally slender Katie Holmes. “It’s hard to see how she’s gonna be able to give me rounds. I’m going to be really aggressive with her—if I can get rough with Burton, I’ll control her. This is one fight where I can be big, and it’ll be the right thing to do.” Burton scoffing at the notion of Holmes-the-enforcer. “Who does she think she is? Katie Hammer-hands? There’s no way she bosses me around in this fight. Io think there’s more than a little envy involved here: Katie hasn’t cashed in on “Dawson’s” and time is slipping away on her. Meanwhile, I’m hot, I’m new and you know what? People have forgotten about Katie Holmes.” Katie in royal blue bra style bikini top, yellow bottoms, black shoes—Hilarie in black bra, red and black plaid trunks, black shoes. Hard, glaring stare-down: these girls have found the hate early.

R1: BURTON WADES INTO KATIE! Hilarie not built for slugging, but she’s taking charge, looping right ‘round Katie’s left wrist, twisting to tug a hook across the ribs, edging in with her left shoulder to back Katie up. Burton’s long, slender arms not powerful, but she’s stepping and lathering, bumping and clouting Katie to the ropes, Holmes scowling, hangs up, getting buffeted—Burton finally rewarded with a thrilling hook on the chin, beating Holmes’ hook and SITTING KATIE INTO THE ROPES! Crowd squealing in anticipation as Burton squares away, lifting lanky uppercuts into Katie like she’s carrying pails of water in either hand. KATIE BRAWLS BACK! Holmes over the shock, rights herself at the ropes, lays in and starts getting gangly stroke ion Hilly’s jaw! Burton bludgeoned back—Katie just as awkward and pooly equipped for this kind of thing, but adept at scooping to the body, then wrapping up behind the elbows—she’s got a kind of punch n’ clutch, walking barrage happening as Burton is steadily turns sideways to cower against the ropes and KATIE’S LIGHTING HER UP! Holmes barring her teeth, chugging those long, slender arms, big backswings as she tucks fists into hips, buttock, back and tummy, or clubs’em righty up behind the head and HEAVING with exertion and punch-lust in the neutral corner  and ON COMES KATIE! Burton shaking, slumping into the ropes face-in gloves—Holmes stepping into her, lifting long, shivering lefts and rights up into the breadbasket and ribs, scuffing gangly uppercuts against the guard, clocking Hilly upside the head a crazy swinging hook. Bell sounds, Katie’s still humming, has to be bodied back by the ref—Burton trembling to the corner.

R2: Both corners irate during the break, imploring the girls to box—both settle down and get professional this round. Cautious step-and-poke midring, girls methodical, working behind the jab, rotating clockwise—constant, intense eye contact as each probes for weakness. Katie won the brawl, now she wins the boxing match, getting to Burton’s face with stick, stepping out on the blonde, walking around her. Hilarie waiting on Holmes, letting her get off first, getting herself outmaneuvered as Katie racks up points. Burton looking a little rattled at the bell, lacking confidence—Holmes buoyant, upbeat, taking on water in her corner and anxious to clean up.

R3: HILARIE WADES INTO KATIE! Syren hands on her head screaming “NO!” but Burton’s storming the gates like a middleweight. Cranking, laborious delivery from Burton—lifting the right hand up into Katie’s flat midsection, sweeping the lefts to the head, looping the right to the ear, chugging tio the ribs with awkward, shoving lefts and rights, but HOLMES CAN’T TAKE IT! Katie covering up, grimacing, sliding along the ropes—pure breathless ferocity of Burton overwhelming the graceful brunette and HOLMES GOES DOWN! Katie’s lower lip trembling as she takes a skittish 8—Burton pacing anxiously, scowling—she storms back in and eats a hoisted right uppercut as HOLMES BRAWLS BACK! Katie answering back as she did in the first—it’s ugly, chugging, thin-limbed stuff, but it’s beating Burton back—blonde can’t stand her ground as brunette licks at tummy, clouts the jawlines. Midring mayhem: long legged beauties standing wide, swinging away all blazing eyes and galloping hearts—crowd on its feet. Random walloping action—many punches mere slaps or poorly constructed, but some with sting—Katie beaten to a series of lefts and rights, falls apart in stages, stumbles and GOES DOWN! Holmes taking shots, dropped—Hilarie screaming incoherently has to be bodied back—Katie takes a weepy 8. ON COMES BURTON! Hilarie POURING herself at Katie, baring heart and soul to get Holmes out of there—Katie covering up, teeth gritted to ride it out as Burton lathers way. Burton just a-sweepin’ and a-strokin’—crazy

clubbing lefts and rights gloves skidding off head and shoulders, digging into ribs, wrapping around Holmes as Burton frequently misjudges distance but THE REF STEPS IN! Katie cowering, not answering back and official has no choice—TKO3 in reckless fashion, Hilarie Burton!

After: Holmes distraught, bawling, stamping her foot as she pleads with the ref—Burton bawling, hands on her head as she falls to her knees—girls have no business brawling like they did, but God love’em Buton still jazzed during in-ring interview: “There was a lot of talk coming in on how Katie was too big for me, Katie was too strong—this and that—but I wasn’t going to take it from her. I know Syren wanted me to box more, but Katie—she made this realty personal and I don’t know…I just lost it on her. You know—she talked and talked and couldn’t back it up, so I knocked her out!” Holmes heartbroken—to her it’s an early stoppage, “The ref panicked, insists Katie, cheeks tear-stained. “I was down, but I got myself together and then I was totally blocking her punches. Hilarie can’t punch—she wasn’t hurting me—I was totally blocking her and the guy stops it. She went down too you know? She went down and was really hurt and they let it go on, and then I totally outboxed her in the second. This was an easy fight for me and they stole it from me!”

Reposted by Archer 12/13/09.