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7 September 2012 Lindsay Lohan vs Jessica Lowndes

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 4 months ago

Lindsay Lohan 07.jpg Jessica Lowndes 03.jpg

Posted by simguy on September 7, 2012, 9:23 am

BEFORE: "The CW rates me as the most talented young flyweight since Kristen freakin' Bell," Jessica preens in prefight. "I'm a triple threat: I wrestle like a hot-damn; I got the Lacey-Chabert stack going on, so I can headline JMD, and I can flat out box the face off one-dimensional hags like Lilo. Or as we like to call her in the gym: LOLo! I got this guys: Lindsay's a target for me - nothing more!"

Lohan scowling throughout...coming off an authoratitive win over another up-and-coming braggart in Emma Stone, Lilo's a lanky vixen on a mission. "Maybe Jessica didn't see me beat the ever-lovin' crap out of Emma Stone," Lindsay says at podium. "Stone was talking the same load of hooey...how I was all washed up; how girls like her were gonna start tuning up on me - that's just not happening. I've gotten myself together, and I'm stronger than ever. I'm a former champ and I mean to get the belts back, and Jessi? She's just gonna have to learn the hard way that in this sport, girls pay dues AND THEN they gloat!"

Lohan in her jaunty nautical bikini - navy top; white bottoms shot through with diagonal bars of baby blue & little blue anchors; white mitts; long blonde hair tied off her face via crown braid. Lowndes in purple bikini; black gloves; long black hair loose/behind the ears. During stare down, Lowndes a little brat - pursing her lips, making taunting faces as Lindsay fumes.

During R1: Aggressive slugging posture for Jess - she's showing no respect, walking to Lohan, loading up righty and trying to belt her out of there. Linds showing professional form/discipline - right hand at her cheek as she pours the jab to Jessica's rack, pre-empting brunette, stalling her outside where clean-up right crosses might find her mouth. Linds stepping clockwise around her poke, setting down on straight, textbook one-twos...classy, conventional stuff defusing Lowndes through 2 minutes. Down the stretch, Jessica able to weave inside, rising out of crouch to slop hooks across Lindsay's rack...leads to loss of discipline for Lohan as she lifts lefts and rights into Jessica's jugs, while Lowndes pounds Lilo's mounds side to side, backing Lilo up in trade.

R2: Jessica using feint-steps in to spook Lilo, then circling right, then looping righty over the top...change in overall tactics sees Lindsay catch brawny wallop on her face. Lilo taking a good shot, but slugged onto her heels...Lowndes able to dictate - frequently crowding close after looping right hands to shove left/rights to Lilo's flat tummy, then clobber her jugs as blonde girl's backing up. Jessica upbeat, smiling as she forces defeat-and-retreat upon Lilo bell to bell. Lindsay FURIOUS with herself on the stomp back to her corner; job-of-work for Lowndes' handlers to calm excited little brunette down during the break.

R3: Lindsay commits to the jab - punching it to Jessica's mouth as Lowndes comes forward; shoving it into Lowndes' jugs; hooking off it while pivoting clockwise. Jessica determined to walk through poke - taking Lilo's stiff lefts, but often sweeping righty-over-the-top to clap blonde-girl's face aside. Spirited stuff as neither vixen can impose will through 2 minutes, but down the stretch, a big, shoveling Lohan right hand to the pit of Jessica's tummy bunches Lowndes up "UH-H!" Jessi forced to crouch-and-cover, allowing Lohan to loom over top and work the flanks tic-toc out of an arms-akimbo delivery. Bell: Lohan still jamming away flat-knuckle with elbows wide to either side, scoring heavily atop either Lowndes hip...ref pulls Lilo away by left arm, giving her a good shake in rebuke.

R4: Jessica erupting into Lilo's jugs, backing her up with a furious side to side slopping barrage. Linds laying back in ropes, temporarily overwhelmed...glorious moments of domination for Jessica as she belts away all jugs a-jumpin'; buns a-ringin'; fists a-whirling until Lohan can tie up. Ref's break pushes Jessica back, but she hustles forward again - belting away right hands to Lilo's left ear as blonde girl covers up tight earmuff, sitting butt-in-ropes. Thumping shove-and-slug administered Jessica to Lindsay: Lowndes showing her stockiness here, bouncing mitts off Lindsay's slender arms and flanks; pushing Lindsay upright into ropes; putting head in Lohan's chest while pum-pum-PUMPING both hands to trunks and tummy. Lohan whining, sponging up a rowdy ass-kicking...all she can do is tie up behind Jessi's elbows and hope for ref's breaks. Down the stretch, sweeping overhand right CLANGS off Lohan's jaw, rendering her helpless...she sags into ropes, eyes staring, hands in her lap as bell rings, and ref grabs Jessica before she can pile on extra.

R5: Lohan proving resilient, shaking off Jessi's 4th round power, getting back to the business of jabbing Lowndes into compliance. Minute mark, stubborn Lowndes trying to weave her way past Lindsay's jab eats a TORRID Lohan left uppercut instead...Lowndes stepping in fence post holes, forced to cover up and crouch forward as Linds goes all-in. Lindsay with arms akimbo, jams flat-knuckle punches in behind Jessi's elbows - Lilo's elbows wide to either side on delivery. As Jess sputters out of orbit, Lilo hops in pursuit - staying in touch via a long, flicking jab, then stepping in strong to slop the right hand heavy to left ear. Jess stumbles into ropes, keeping hands rigid at brows: Lilo extends left to touch Jessica's guard - right hand raised as though Linds wants to jam it between Jessi's mitts...then Lilo elects to whip the right hand wide to the body, spanking ribcage instead. Round ends to the sight of Lilo pushing with the extended left on Jessi's guard, than lavishing Lowndes succulent right hands wide to body. Bell: Jess blinking back tears, hugging her throbbing body; Lilo strutting back to her corner with a confident bully's grin.

R6: Jessica hurt, greatly reduced...she's showing dukes at temples, walking in on Lilo as Lohan sets up outside. Patient, well-schooled stuff from Linds: dukes at cheeks - feet stepping, pivoting and hopping her clockwise as she lures Jess into range, then PIK-PAK one-twos drill brunette's head back, forcing her to back off. Lowndes stubborn, hard to discourage...she's continually marching forward, but without authority - basically just walking herself into Lohan's rangy, tart, straight one-twos. Target practice for leggy Lohan - she's keeping her distance, turning the shorter girl clockwise, pounding away at the head and guard. Down the stretch, Lowndes visibly wobbly-butt, unsteady on her feet walking in...she's blocking or partially blocking a lot of shots, but she's till getting drilled for a shutout Lohan 6th.

R7: Lilo POUNDING her jab again and again to Jessica's breasts, bringing brunette hands down: crisp, slinging right cross checks the chin and DOWN GOES JESSICA! Lowndes trembling on all fours, deeply demoralized as grinning Lilo jogs to neutral corner, climbs ropes and brays into the crowd. Plucky brunette up at 8, but she's shabby, blubbering...she covers up earmuff, sits in ropes and digs in as Lilo wades back in. Lindsay frisky about her girl - extending that left hand to push on guard, then feeding Jess the wide, buggywhipping right in the flank, or a spearing straight right down into midsection. Jessica groaning, bunching up, but keeping her feet - curvy legs holding her up as Lilo has her way. Down the stretch, Lilo's just reaching her arms in to wrestle apart Jessica's guard, then lapping rangy hup-hup left/right combos to gut while laying her forehead against Jessica's. Bell: Lowndes in tears, hugging her body; Lilo chesting up, telling Jessica all about it until ref pulls blonde-girl off.

R8: Disciplined Lilo early - hands at cheeks; the clockwise, loping movement; the straight, ringing one-twos as weary, battered Jessica wanders into range. Lowndes stubborn enough to come forward, but too hurt to take initiative - time and again she's punched about her head and guard, forced out of range, where she regroups and starts wading forward again. Key for Lindsay is distance management: seldom have we seen her maintain form when she's got a girl breaking down, but Lohan determined not to make the same stupid mistakes tonight. Strong, stiff one-twos punching Jessi's face back, putting her wobbly butt in final minute...plucky little brunette busting up nicely through 8.

R9: Lindsay lowers gloves to hips and wades in, thinking Jessica's out on her feet. Leads to glorious, walloping fare as Lowndes refuses to be punked, swinging and scoring to Lohan's face and breasts in free-swinging exchanges. Linds depositing heavy right hands to tummy, and scouring the Lowndes rack via scrubbing left/right shoeshines, but Jessica won't give. Competitive, brawling round goes to Lowndes as Lilo gets outslugged at closer ranges.

R10: Corner SOMEHOW gets through to Lohan during break: she comes out dukes at cheeks; using her long legs to circle clockwise, luring Lowndes to her doom. Plucky brunette making the fight by trudging forward, but straight-punching Lohan simply pre-empting her and drilling her one-twos outside. Jessica's head knocked straight back time and again...crowd oohing and ahhing at the clean scoring Lohan's doing. Only in final minute does Lindsay risk going to the body - really limbering up and belting Jessica right/left to tummy...Lowndes bunching up hurt, but answering, scoring clubbing blows about Lohan's head to avoid shutout. Comes back UD10 Lohan in classy fashion.

After: Growing pains for young Lowndes - very good first half for Jessica eventually gives way to Lohan's veteran polish...Lindsay's return to prominence given a healthy push by tonight's performance. "I feel like I'm as sharp and fit as I've ever been," Lohan grins in postfight. "I picked this girl apart tonight - really controlled and dominated her...that's what I can do when I'm focussed and fighting my fight. I'm not 18 years old anymore - I'm not just going in there to knock a girl's block off. I've got the best legs in the division and I'm starting to use 'em...shorties like Jessica have no chance when I get to steppin' like I know I can!"