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31 October 2012 Alexis Bledel vs Kristen Stewart

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 2 months ago

Alexis Bledel 01.jpg Kristen Stewart 02.jpg

"WITCHES, PUMPKINHEADS AND BLACK CATS AT THE ASYLUM"

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on October 31, 2012, 9:20 pm

BEFORE:

O'Dell: "The place is full of FCBA stars tonight. There's The Lookout! group in their box, Jessica Simpson, Nina Dobrev, Leighton Meester, Hilary Duff, Missy Peregrym, and Yvonne Strahovski..."

Tess: "And, speaking of Lookout! stars, look who's coming to join us, dressed as the best looking nurse you'll ever see, it's Minka Kelly!"

O'Dell: "Happy Halloween, Minka, and nice of you to join us..."

Minka: "Great to be here. Wiz asked if I'd mind coming down and doing a little color for this one, as long as it's OK with Mac, of course..."

McCarthy: "You always DID have class, Minka. And, no, I don't mind at ALL. The more the merrier."

Tess: "That's not what you said when Cassie came down to do color..."

McCarthy: "Shut it, Walmart..."

Minka: "Drink up, boys! See, I can do this..."

McCarthy: "WATCH it, Kelly..."

O'Dell: "So, Minka, I notice several of your stablemates didn't make the trip to Philly tonight..."

Minka: "Well, some of them didn't get an invitation..."

O'Dell: "It appears a former bantamweight champion is among that group..."

Minka: "Lishy? Yes, well. She ordered a costume and everything. Poor thing. All dressed up and no place to go..."

Tess: "I think she FOUND a place..."

O'Dell: "Looks that way, unless that's someone ELSE in that Spanish Pirate costume coming down to ringside..."

McCarthy: "Give the girl credit, she can WALK AN AISLE..."

Tess: "Like she OWNS it..."

Minka: "THAT'S her problem! She ALWAYS acts like she owns the place!"

O'Dell: "Cuthbert climbing into the ring..."

McCarthy: "What's that on her back?"

Tess: "Those would be crosshairs, Mac..."

O'Dell: "Most likely an acknowledgement of the five million dollar bounty Wiz put on her head...Elisha now asking for a microphone..."

Minka: "GET HER OUT OF THERE!"

Elisha: "Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and Happy Halloween to you all..."

Minka: " HOW DID SHE EVEN GET IN HERE? SHE WASN'T INVITED..."

Elisha: "I can hear you, Minka. And, I got in here like everyone ELSE did! See THIS? It's a TICKET. I BOUGHT one! Now simmer down before I come down there and put you in your place!"

Minka: "Put ME in MY place! You..."

O'Dell: "Calm down, Minka...goodness knows what awful movie HBO has ready for if they have to pull us off the air..."

Tess: "I hear it's 'Biodome 2'..."

Elisha: "Now, AS I was saying, Happy Halloween, all. It's great to look around and see so MANY of the stars of the FCBA in attendance. MY invitation apparently got lost in the mail, but these things happen. ANYway, I just came down to talk to you all, fans and FCBA stars alike, about this TARGET on my back. And I know what all you bantams are thinking. Knock off Lishy and make five million bucks in the process. Well, do me a favor ladies, ESPECIALLY you, Minka. BRING IT!"

Minka(quietly): "Oh, I'll BRING it..."

O'Dell: "And with that Cuthbert drops the mic and heads back down the aisle..."

Minka: "Unreal. The arrogance. It's just unreal..."

"Don't give up on us, baby.
Don't make the wrong seem right.
The future isn't just for the night.
It's written in the moonlight.
And painted on the stars.
We can't change us..."

McCarthy: "Oh, that's AWFUL! Is that HUTCH???"

Tess: "That WOULD be 'Hutch', David Soul, born David Solberg, who had a number one hit with "Don't Give Up On Us" in both the U.S. and the U.K. In 1976. David's brother, by the way, the Rev. Daniel Solberg, was a leader of The Denominational Ministry Strategy, a group of religious and union leaders who engaged in a series of protests in the early 80's against the steel companies and financial institutions that were involved in closing down the mills and foreclosing on the homes of laid off steel workers in Western Pennsylvania during the industry's collapse. Both Solbergs spent time in jail as a result."

O'Dell: "I CONTINUE to be amazed by your musical knowledge, Tess..."

McCarthy: "I'M beginning to wonder about it, TOO. Meanwhile, on her way to the ring is a masked redhead dressed in buckskin."

O'Dell: "Into the ring and helped off with the costume and mask...and that's the lovely Alexis Bledel, who's apparently going to make her FCBA debut!"

Minka: "Amazed this girl has never had an FCBA fight. Leave it to Wiz to get her on a card. He's a GREAT judge of talent..."

McCarthy: "If the MUSIC doesn't make me upchuck..."

"Spring was never waiting for us girl.
It ran one step ahead,
As we followed in the dance.

Between the parted pages,
And were pressed in love's hot, fevered iron,
Like a striped pair of pants.

MacArthur park is melting in the dark..."

McCarthy: "Did he say something about a pair of PANTS? Is that...DUMBLEDORE???"

Tess: "That would BE the late Richard Harris, who hit number one in Europe and Australia and number two in the U.S. with 'MacArthur Park', in 1968..."

McCarthy: "How does a park MELT?"

Tess: "MacArthur Park is an actual park in the Westlake neighborhood of Los Angeles. Formerly named 'Westlake Park' it was renamed after Gen. Douglas MacArthur..."

McCarthy: "Why would someone leave a CAKE in the RAIN???" And why wouldn't you have the recipe if you just baked the cake???"

Tess: "The song was written by Jimmy Webb and was inspired by his break up with Susan Ronstadt, a cousin of singer Linda Ronstadt. The two used to meet for lunch in MacArthur Park. Webb's song 'By The Time I Get To Phoenix' was also inspired by this break up. The late Donna Summer also hit number one in the U.S. with a disco version of the song, and Summer's version was just one of over 50 covers of the song..."

McCarthy: "They ought to cover it in about SIX FEET OF DIRT so no one ever has to hear it again! And, if we can stop playing 'Name That Tune', let's check out the girl coming to the ring dressed like she's about to go to Woodstock..."

Tess: "Don't worry if you aren't following, Minka. You and I are too YOUNG to remember 'Name That Tune' and Woodstock..."

McCarthy: "WALMARRRRTTTT..."

O'Dell(sighing): "Into the ring she climbs. Helped off with the costume and oversized dark glasses, and in a lime green bikini that's 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart!"

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "So, it's Bledel vs. Stewart at flyweight. Let's get some picks. Mac?"

McCarthy: "Well, obviously Stewart has the advantage in experience. Bledel will be an interesting challenge for her, though, because Stewart is a TALL fly who's used to having the advantage in height and reach. She won't tonight. I think it will be tougher than people expect, but I'm picking Stewart."

O'Dell: "Tess?"

Tess: "I don't know a lot about Bledel, but I know PLENTY about Stewart. Kristen by TKO."

O'Dell: "Minka?"

Minka: "Oh, no. You aren't getting ME involved in this. I'm just going to enjoy this fight."

O'Dell: "And, here we go. Bledel immediately begins with a long left jab. Popping it out there to create some distance. Stewart stepping left away from it, WHACKING those ribs with a left hook, ducking a right hand and landing a solid right."

Minka: "Kristen getting a reputation for being pretty athletic, Jenny. And she's showing some of that here. Good movement of feet, head, and hands."

O'Dell: "Bledel not able to find the range with that jab. Stewart giving her angles, slipping that left, landing with both hands. Alexis a bit off balance right now."

McCarthy: "This is a little tough for Alexis right now to find a rhythm. First time in an FCBA ring. She's likely going to need a round or two to get comfortable."

O'Dell: "Kristen is PLENTY comfortable on the other hand. Landing some solid stuff down the stretch. Backing Bledel up. Not troubled by the reach. Alexis in retreat at the bell and an excellent round for Stewart."

Tess: "Good start for K-Stew, up 10-9 after one."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Into the second round now, and Alexis landing that jab now. Stewart countering with a right, circling away, bouncing back in and the ladies have a spirited exchange of punches."

Minka: "Nice flurry from both ladies there. Both landed some good shots."

O'Dell: "Bledel sticking that jab in Stewart's face. Kristen working past and hooking body. Alexis bangs back to the head and Kristen counters with a left hook."

McCarthy: "Alexis getting comfortable now. Finding that rhythm..."

O'Dell: "And she backs Stewart up with a right hand! Set that up with a jab and she's wobbled Stewart. Bledel going to work now, backing Stewart up, banging away with both hands. Kristen forced back to the ropes, in a high guard. Alexis going body to try to bring it down."

Minka: "Good stuff from Bledel. Not going crazy trying to get the stoppage here. Staying within herself."

O'Dell: "And scoring with a left-right to ther head at the bell. Even round for two minutes, but Bledel won it with that last minute flurry."

Tess: "19-19 through two."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "We're into the third round now, and Bledel back to that long left hand. Stewart bangs a right hand over it, and Alexis hooks to the body in response. Kristen showing more movement now, bobbing and bouncing, stepping past that left and getting off to the body. Bledel circles back and right, lands a jab, fits a right hand, Stewart counters with a hook. Good, competitive stuff."

McCarthy: "Alexis feeling more and more comfortable as we go, just as I expected."

O'Dell: "Stewart landing a solid flurry that backs Alexis up. Bledel responds with a double tap jab and a hook to the ribs. Kristen not deterred, BANGS those ribs with a pair of hooks, then lands a straight right to the chin."

Minka: "Alexis scoring here, but Kristen's slowly getting control of this round. Landing more and harder stuff. Bledel's still working, but K-Stew's getting the better of things."

O'Dell: "And one final exchange of right hands takes us to the bell, and it's Kristen who's gone back into the lead."

Tess: "29-28 through three."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Fourth round underway now and Stewart again establishing control. Now using her own jab to move Bledel backward. Pressuring forward, not letting Alexis get set..."

Minka: "Bledel fighting off her heels right now, flicking the jab, trying to slow Stewart down, but K-Stew's going around or through it."

O'Dell: "Stewart methodical, working the body, then back upstairs, keeping the pressure on, landing a solid right to the head that backed Alexis up. Bledel trying to circle now, but Stewart matching footwork, staying in front, landing a solid combination there that shook Alexis up..."

Minka: "Breaking her down, Mac..."

McCarthy: "No question. This is professional stuff by the Stewart kid."

O'Dell: "Kristen lands a right hook, a straight left and a hard right cross! Bledel backed up again, dancing away as Stewart stalks. Alexis snaps out a jab, STEWART BANGS A RIGHT OVER IT AND BLEDEL IS STAGGERED...KRISTEN A LEFT HOOK AND AN OVERHAND RIGHT AND DOWN GOES ALEXIS! BLEDEL KNOCKED TO HER BACK WITH A HARD RIGHT HAND!"

Tess: "Set that up beautifully, Mac."

McCarthy: "Certainly did."

O'Dell: "Count at six, seven, eight. Bledel still on her back, drapes an arm over her eyes...nine...ten! IT'S OVER! Your winner by KO4 is 'The Five-Tool Player, Kristen Stewart!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Minka, I understand you're going to rejoin the festivities in the Lookout! box, so thanks for joining us!"

Minka: "My pleasure, Jenny."

O'Dell: "Now, let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Kristen Stewart, and, Kristen, looked like this might be a fight for awhile, but in the third, you took over..."

Kristen: "She came to fight and her reach gave me a little trouble for awhile. Once I figured it out, though, I just went to work. I knew I'd get her out of there. It was just a matter of time. It ALL is with me. Just a matter of time."