Posted by Simguy on 3/6/2004, 9:48 am.

Before: Zeta Jones faces the first oblique salvo in this bout months previously--administered a heinous beating to Naomi watts in an apartment wrestling spectacle. By all accounts, Watts started fast and scrappy, had her moments, but when Jones bedded Watts and mounted her, it was slow, sustained, smothering torture--message not lost on Kidman. “That’s so typical of Catherine, trying to rattle me through bullying Naomi, That’s why everyone hates Jones so. It was painful to hear about, but it only made me train harder and bh more resolved to put this tramp down. I’ve been in with punchers Zeta Jones would never dream of facing. I’ve got the height, I’ve got the skills--Watts will be avenged in style.” Jones with sneaky right-handed sock of her own and subtle defensive moves, will be challenged by the blonde’s length--remains to be seen if the psychological assault will have any bearing whatsoever. Zeta J in red bikini, Nicole in pale blue crochet bikini, hair up.

During R1: Tactical, wary round, both girls circling clockwise. Kidman keeping distance, weight on her back foot, maybe bailing out of position a hair too quickly--she’s not giving herself a chance to catch the shorter woman coming in. Joes having trouble negotiating distance, crouching, pawing out with her jab, trying to release hard right hands as she leans forward--coming up short for the most part, Jones the aggressor, she’s coming forward, but not much serious contact as girls take each other’s measure.

R2: Kidman’s seen enough, goes to work this round. Nicole peppering Jones now with that stinging, stiff stick, working the brunette’s shoulders and clavicle, pounding away forehead, eyes and cheeks, getting Jones up out of that crouch and backing away. Catherine dismayed by the jab--she’s trying to weave it, batting at it, retreating from it, which means Nicole’s controlling her with it. Beginning of middle minute-Kidman gets Catherine backing straight up, slices in a withering right cross and puts healthy wobble in red Welsh trunks--Catherine Zeta Jones is hurt! CZJ regrouping, trying to circle away, but long blonde gets on her--touching her up the jab, occasionally jabbing down to the body, then leaning into spearing rights--Jones getting clocked crosses on her left temple, eye and cheek and she’s looking shabby, starting to stagger and hop. Nicole’s eyes ice-cold as she walks Jones down, jabs her relentlessly, waits for Catherine to backpedal, hen chases her down with hurling right hands--it’s a wildly successful formula. By the end, Jones has been drilled repeatedly, left side of her face glowing hot with punishment, left eye closing, creamy thighs a-jiggle.. Smile of satisfaction at the bell from Nicole as Jones stumbles ramshackle to her corner--judges see it 10-8 without the knockdown.

R3: Nicole bursting with confidence, telling her corner Jones is ready to go--keen right hands carving the brunette up--Kidman off her stool hungry to finish. Jones counting on Nicole to be right hand happy, slips under the first one she sees, rolls out of the crouch a stupendous hook on the chin and KIDMAN’S SHOOK! Nicole;s long legs stomopuing and stutter-stepping on canvas, eyes suddenly glassy--Jones cold-hearted as she steps in close, carries that short right hand off her shoulder to grease Nikki’s chin yet again. Kidman clattering backwards--Jones on her--brunette bundles blonde into the ropes, sets up snug off Kidman’s left shoulder and starts REEFING HOOKS TO CROTCH! Oh the humanity--Jones shielding atrocity with her body, pounding away to trunks with Kidman sagging in the ropes, Kidman’s left arm draped woozily around Jones’ shoulder--poor Nicole paralyzed with hurt as Catherine spanks away between the thighs. Nik beaten into rigid stupor, hobbled by the low blows--Catherine shifts position, palming blonde square against the ropes, setting curvy legs and UNLEASHING a brutal onslaught. Pounding rights to that delicate face. Clubbing lefts on the jaw--Zeta Jones all business as she heaps home the bombardment. Jones systematic, careful to keep palming and bracing Nicole, propping her up pretty for more--Catherine with an insatiable appetite for this kind of abuse, never takes those cruel eyes off Nicole’s busted up face. AND THE~ REF STEPS IN! Kidman just shipping hellish shellack on her brittle features, head lolling badly, defenceless--official has no choice as Jones would clearly punch like this all night long if given the chance. TKO3 Catherine Zeta Jones. AND A CHEAP LATE HOOK as the ref is a little lazy bodying Jones back. Kidman barely registering the shot on her brows, dazed as she is.

After: Catherine catches stone-faced Naomi livid with anger and concern--Jones parading a shabby Nicole in a walk of shame, taking a moment to linger above Watts’ position and give her that famous mean-spirited grin, Boxing match clearly being won by the taller, more angular blonde, but Jones with a half dozen beefy equalizers south of the border pounces for a quick, ill-gotten stop. As usual, Jones’ heinous fouling obscures the fact that a beautiful counter left hook and short right hand put Kidman in trouble in the first place--who’s to say that Catherine wouldn’t have halted her blonde without the cheap practice?

Reposted by Archer 11/28/12.