RETRO BOUT CA. 2005

By Jac Fac

It all started as a 'charity swim event' at a local L.A. club but soon escalated into raw feelings of frustration for Toni Braxton after she’d been bested in a two lap contest by Yasmine Bleeth. Yasmine had too much mustard at the turn and Toni couldn't overtake her in the final ten yards of the race. The place was packed so Toni’s public defeat really stung her ego.

"Get ya next time ya coke sniffing stiff," snarled the soundly beaten Braxton.

"Oh, really?" trilled Yasmine. "Think you stand ANY sort of chance after that puny performance?”

"Listen you punk bitch," continued Braxton. "I'll nail your sorry ass right here same as those other floozies, Denise Richards and Eva Longoria," Toni said, referring to her boxing victories over those gals. "Now THERE is where your ass really gets jacked!" she boasted unabashedly.

"Oh, I doubt it," sneered the cocky Bleeth.

"Let's have at it next month if you’re so damn sure," continued Toni. "We'll make that a charity event too! Thing is, they'll be burying your dumb ass after I toast you!” Toni roared with laughter at her own joke.

Fight night at the LA forum and Toni comes out in a white robe that she slowly peels away to reveal her stunning figure in a black thong, stockings and lace top. Yasmine is stunning in a similar red outfit. Both in heels and Elke Sommer as the ref.  - Yasmine surprises Toni with her solid footwork as she hammers the singer with a steady tattoo of vicious jabs to the face. She's a tough target and twice Yaz beats Braxton to the punch while Toni fires blanks, swings that hit only empty air! Yasmine continues with rapid-fire left hooks that put a hurting on Toni’s body as she doubles Braxton up with a barrage of body shots.

Round one:

When the bell rings, Braxton staggers back to her corner where Eartha Kitt reads her the riot act! "Either you get your ass to punching that bitch or I'm pulling you outta there girl; you got that?”  replies Toni.  - Braxton smokes Yasmine with an overhand right to the chin which drives her back and buckles her knees. Then Toni swarms in to maintain her sudden advantage; pounding Yasmine over and over with solid shots to her midsection. They go to the center of the ring where they trade head shots but Toni’s are the heavier blows and she DROPS Yasmine with a left-right combo that puts the bouncy Baywatch Babe on her butt! Yasmine is game if nothing else and she rolls over on her hands and knees, then gets back up, firing with both fists again. She clobbers Toni with a devastating left hook AND TONI GOES DOWN! Yasmine raises her gloves over her head as she steps over Toni and turns to bask in the sight of her opponent sprawled on her butt. The place is rocking and rolling but Toni struggles back to her feet and the two women jackhammer each other mercilessly with all they've got until Elke pries them apart at the bell. Both declare victory in this round which is scored evenly.

"Yes ma'am,"

Round two:

Eartha Kitt isn't happy with Toni, telling her, "I TOLD you to get the damned job done didn't I?” She slaps Toni hard and yells, "Fight damn you; fight! You're a damned wuss if you can’t beat this little trollop!"  - They touch gloves and Yasmine slams Toni with a right to Braxton's left eye. Toni's eyes are swelling badly now and she needs to get it done here. Braxton wades in and 'goes for broke' firing every punch she can deliver. Yasmine is dodging most and, once again, floors Toni with a phenomenal left hook. Braxton staggers to her feet and takes an eight count. She looks beaten but there's no quit in this singer and she counters Yasmine's big hit with one of her own to Bleeth's jaw. Down goes Yasmine who’s tasting canvas for the second time! Bleeth beats the count but her eyes are closing as they stand toe to toe, ripping into one another. There is just a little more gas in Braxton's tank and when she nails Yasmine with a huge uppercut, the Baywatch beauty in red staggers on rubber legs as Toni moves in for the kill! Yasmine's eyes are black and blue and her body is going limp just as Toni wallops her for the last time….then drops her gloves and watches as her worthy adversary stumbles backward, then her legs buckle and and she drops to her knees before she pitches over and sprawls face down on the canvas with her arms at her sides and her quivering legs spread.

Round three:

The joint has been treated to a fantastic battle of strong wills in which Toni Braxton has beaten Yasmine Bleeth with the best performance she’ll probably ever muster in a boxing ring. Toni knows the Baywatch star fought the good fight and doesn’t drag her around the ring as usual in these fights, instead she watches calmly while ref Elke Sommer brings Yasmine back to consciousness with smelling salts. The gals embrace in the ring as Yasmine acknowledges her defeat by lifting the singers gloves and then kneeling as a token of her submission at being bested. There could be a re-match but not very soon.

Afterward, while Yasmine soaks her bruised and battered body, Toni is feted by galpals ‘Downtown’ Julie Brown and Naomi Campbell at a nearby watering hole owned by Kim and Ginny.